Sweet Dreams, Otaku!
by BlackMidnightWhite
Summary: Basically me, my very close friend that HATES anime (but LOVES K-Pop), and my minion (*I mean FMA loving friend) get sucked into FMA! The question is: How will we survive the crazy world of FMA? Read to find out! Rated M for my foul mouth and Mustang's pervertedness (mostly my foul mouth). To avoid any hackers or stalkers, I changed our names. R&R and comment on my mistakes!
1. OMG! I'M IN A CLOSET!

**~Announcement~**

 **Hey guys! It's me, again! I'm sorry for any delay! And also, if you don't like profanity, I'm warning you early. GET OUT! Ahem. Sorry, but anyways, this is when shit gets real. REAL FAST.**

 **Disclaimer: I DO NOT own FMA. Or else FMA would've shown more of you-know-who's children.**

 **Warning: Profanity, or in simple words, cussing, and some mature themes suggested. Also pop-culture references! No, seriously. What if I make a reference to Donald Trump having sex with France from Hetalia? Yeah, I'm pretty sure some people just died...**

~-!-~

"Urgh, did I fall off the bed again?" No, couldn't be. My floor's carpet, not wood. I opened my eyes slightly. What...Why is it so dark? I opened my eyes again, but only saw shapes of cleaning supplies and coats because I'm as blind as a bat in the dark. Wait...I thought I saw a person...Did I sleep-walk? No...There are no records of me sleep-walking...But there are records of me falling off my bed...I'm so groggy...I need more sleep...

~_A Couple Hours Later_~

My...god...I'm...still...tired...most...likely...from...hunger...NO! I need to get up! I tried to get up, but fell on my stomach. Oh fuc-I mean, fudge...After several attempts in the last how-many minutes, I got up, only to trip over something. Is this me hallucinating after I had my weird FMA dream? I looked down, only to see my friend. WAIT. ONLY TO SEE MY FRIEND?! HOLY HELL! MY DREAM WAS NOT A DREAM! THIS IS MY FRIEND, JAQUELIN MAYLEAF LEESON?! THEN THAT MEANS MY OTHER FRIEND MUST BE HERE TOO! HOLY-I NEED TO WAKE HER UP. I nudged her a couple times, then pushed her. She hit me in the nose, and then opened her eyes. Well, I think she opened her eyes.

"Meicee Oceana Hui-Fang, I'm going to kill you...MEICEE! WHAT TH-" I covered her mouth as she struggled to get my hand off, but I made a"shhh" sound and tried to calm her down.

"Shhhh! Some people outside are probably going to hear us if you keep shouting! I don't care if you bite me, but you have to either whisper or just plain shut up! Sorry about that." I whisper-shouted that, and I let go of her as soon as I stopped talking.

"Meicee, what are you doing here? What is this place?"

"We're currently in a storage room or closet, I'm not so sure. But don't worry about getting dirty or being in our p-jammies. But I think this is my fault." She sat down, criss-cross applesauce, and I did too.

"How? What?"

"I wished for us to go somewhere and dreamt about it. But my dream ended so early, so I only know that Nick's in Rush Valley."

"You are crazy, you know that?! Meicee!" She hit me lightly, but I didn't care. She needs to hit a lot harder to survive in this world.

"Thanks! Keep your voice down! And we are in FMA, or FullMetal Alchemist."

"The anime you are currently obsessed about? The one with Edward Elric?" I blushed and nodded. She facepalmed and sighed.

"Yes. I'm not sure about that part yet, but I know that we're not at home."

"I already know that. So you say Nick's in Rushmore or something?" I groaned at my friend's lack of anime knowledge.

"Rush Valley! Get it right! Sorry."

"Whatever. We need to get out of here. And is that what you wear every night?" I looked down, seeing myself wear my pink robe with stars, covering my orange-red sleeveless top with leaves and flowers. I pulled up my purple, rainbow peace-sign, fuzzy pants. Oh great. At least Jaquelin's wearing a t-shirt with a blue star on it and some reasonable pants.

"Yeah. It's comfy. Nothing wrong." I shrugged and sat closer to her.

"Then what do we do?"

"We try to make a grand escape. Sneak out and then we need to worry."

"Why?" I gave her an "omg are you fucking kidding me" look.

"There's no food, no clean water, and plus, we don't have money!"

"Oh." She began to turn the closet's knob, and I stopped her.

"What the fuck you think you're doing?!"

"Opening the door. We DO need to escape, right?"

"Yes, but now's not the time! We need to be strategic!"

"Aren't you a smart cookie? Here, have some anime posters." Oh my god. Is she not taking this seriously?! Oh god, when I get back home...She opened the freaking door. Oh fuck me. I walked in front of her, and saw probably the thing I feared of the most. Being in FMA. I mean, it's my dream, but it scares me about how easy you can die. Riza cocked her gun, and Roy walked towards us, dropping his paperwork.

"See?! Jaquelin, I told you to wait!" She looked scared, actually scared. I saw her in many emotions, but I've never seen her scared before. I walked in front of her, blocking her with my body.

"Who are you two? How did you get into my office? What's the deal with your clothes? Why-" I cut him off, and this time is the time to shine.

"What is this? A 30-year old man giving a lecture to two, random Xingese girls? Pfft, I've seen worse. How about we discuss this after we have our meal?" He was hesitant at first, but ordered Fuery to grab two lunch trays with PB&Js. When he came back, I was still protecting Jaquelin, since she was clueless about the FMA world. I know how it begins, and I know how it ends. When she sat down to eat, We whispered at each other in Chinese so that they couldn't hear nor understand us.

 _"Who's that man and that woman with the gun?"_

 _"I can't tell you, but it's definitely them."_

 _"Who?"_

 _"Eat your meal. We'll discuss matters with them after."_

 _"What?"_

 _"I know how this goes. I read too many fanfics about these situations. I know what I'm doing."_ She nodded, and ate her PB&J, and gulped it down with the milk they provided us. I ate my sandwich, and ate half of the orange. There was no way in hell that I'm drinking milk.

"Why aren't you drinking your milk?" I glared at Mustang, and then back at the tray. I plopped an orange slice in my mouth and chewed it slowly.

"Because, it's a disgusting little liquid made from a cow's nipple-looking thing." I swallowed my orange slice and plopped in another. Roy sat down, and Riza came running over.

"Humph. Reminds me of another guy I know. Anyways, let's get down to business. How do I know that you girls aren't spies?" Jaquelin began to speak, but I cut her short. I gave her a "I got this" look.

"You can search our clothes. Heck, you can even kill us and forget that this ever happened!"

"You're a tough one, you know that? Really , tell me the truth." I smirked and said it as clear as day.

"I'm Meicee, that's Jaquelin, I'm 12, she 11, and we're from another dimension/world. You could say that we come from the other side of the Gate." Riza and Roy looked shocked, and Havoc, who was apparently with us, gasped. Jaquelin had a poker face on, and I grinned like a madman.

 **~Author's Note~  
Yep, you guessed it. I'm 12. No lying to you guys now, huh? Don't say like "You're too young to cuss and read fanfiction!" Oh puh-lease! Boys at school say "fuck" and my other friend (not in this fanfic) reads lemons and "7 Minutes in Heaven!" Oh god, that sounds really bad now that I think about it...But anyways, yeah. there. boom. no caps. so Doge. The cat's out of the armor. This is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~**


	2. OMG! I MET EDWARD ELRIC!

**~Announcement~**

 **Hey guys! It's me, again. So...I'm really happy! SO HAPPY THAT I...um, Okay, right now I have NOTHING to announce. :P Anyways, I noticed that I wrote my friend too OOC. :P I'm sorry about that! Not like you guys know, anyways...ANYWHO! REPLY DOWN IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU WANT AND Q &A OR A TRUTH OR DARE CHAPTER! LET ME KNOW! So, yeah. That's about it. **

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own FMA. I used caps lock for "not" for emphasis. :P**

 **Warning: Profanity and some mature themes suggested. Also, maybe some REALLY TRAMATIZING POP-CULTURE REFERENCES BLINDED MY FRIENDS WHEN I SHOWED THEM THIS. Actually, I think it's my foul mouth that did that...**

 **~-!-~**

"What?! Is that even possible? Are you sure you don't have amnesia?!" I nodded, and plopped two more slices in my mouth. Geez, this is more stressful than what the fanfics I read. It's hurting my head!

"I don't have amnesia. If I did, why would I know your rank, Colonel Pervert?" Jaquelin still kept her poker face, sipping her milk. Havoc stifled a laugh, I think Riza cocked another gun. I bet you Mustang stole all of the ladies in Amestris AND urk marks.

"Aren't you a polite one? Lemme ask your friend. Maybe she'll respond in a more...NORMAL way. Jaquelin, is your friend here correct?" She glared at him, most likely still afraid. My friend nodded, and gulped down her milk.

"Yep. Meicee here knows everything about this world because she's obsessed with watching ani-" I reached over the table to cover her mouth, then smiled sheepishily.

"Hehe...Nothing," I glared at her," I'll explain that later! Hehe..." Jaquelin put her hand on the hand I covered her mouth with, glaring at me. I whispered a soft "sorry" and let go. I sat back down in my seat, scooting in more. The soldiers didn't look impressed, since I'm just a MASTER at covering things up. Oh fuck me. Oh fuck me and my anime wishes.

"Uh huh. We have to watch you two, in case if you do anything fishy. I'll assign a bodyguard for each of you. And if you try ANYTHING, you'll be executed." Jaquelin widened, and Mustang smirked. I grinned, and gave a thumbs up.

"Sure! Besides, the more, the merrier! Hehe! I'll say that the most dangerous thing that I did was cuss in public!" I laughed, and stood up. I pushed my chair in and told Jaquelin to come with me to the restroom. She stood up, and followed me. After taking a few twists and turns, we FINALLY found it. I waited for her outside the stall. When she was washing her hands, I mentioned something important.

"You have to follow my orders, got it? Whether you like it or not. These rules are to protect ourselves since this world is more dangerous that eating a moldy cheeseburger. Got that?" She rolled her eyes at me, and sighed. She turned off the faucet, and dried off her hands.

"Meicee, I swear, you are crazy. I always knew were crazy, but now I think you should belong with REAL crazy people." She opened the door, leaving me to run to catch up. I saw many weird looks soldiers and alchemists were giving us. I finally caught up with her when she looked like she was lost. Oh shitty poop.

"Hey! Jaquelin! Listen to me!" I dragged her to a hallway with not a lot of guards, not letting go of her hand.

"Look, I know this sounds crazy, but you HAVE TO do whatever I tell you to do. I know more about this world than you do, so PLEASE just trust me on this one, I'm BEGGING YOU. I don't, pardon my language, WANT TO SEE YOU FUCKING DIE, KNOWING THAT IT'S MY FAULT. So PLEASE, just...listen..." I was almost crying at the thought of her dying, but fortunately I held back my tears, saving them for later. I sniffled a few times, and then tried to regain my smile. She sighed, walking to the left hallway.

"Ugh, fine, but ONLY because of our current situation. So what's the plan?" I shrugged and caught up with her, finally regaining my smile.

"There's no current plan, but I'm following every fanfic plot. Meet the Elric bros, travel with them, and yeah. That's about it. But, I DO KNOW that Nick's in Rush Valley, no matter what. This is EXACTLY like the dream I had, but it stopped after a third person POV, showing Nick there."

"What's a POV?" Why couldn't I be stuck with Marise instead?!

"Fanfic term. Short for point of view. Well, now that my parents aren't here, I can curse whenever, and however I fucking what! Ahem. Sorry. Anyways, follow these EXACT RULES, no EXCEPTIONS, okay?"

"Okay. I'm listening."

"1. Train you mind, train your body. It means if you want to become smart, you have to train you body, or learn how to fight. You don't want to become an annoying as hell can't defend herself Mary-Sue, don't ya?"

"Huh?"

"I'll explain the Mary-Sue part later. Anyways, 2. Don't die. If you die here, only God knows that if you died in our world or not. Basically, avoid death. 3. DON'T GO AND STEAL MY MAN! OKAY?! He's MINE! Actually, I'm kidding. Who can force one doing something that they don't like? Haha! 3. is actually have fun! Let loose! No parents, no school, only our future! How great is that?!" She rolled her eyes, then tugging on my sleeve.

"What?"

"We're lost."

"No shit, Sherlock. Come on, I think I know the way back." I grabbed her arm, and after God knows how long, we found the doors to the office, but this time it was closed. I opened the door, finding a certain boy with a braid and a giant suit of armor, talking, no, shouting, at Mustang. Mustang eyed us, and made eye contact, like he wants us to come in. I grabbed Jaquelin, and we stood next to the door.

"-Loire was a dead end! This is our 500th fail! Are you even listening?!" Ed fumed. Awww, isn't he s-NO! CONTROL YOURSELF!

"Shut up, pipsqueek. Lemme introduce you to these two Xingese girls that claim that they are from the other side of the gate. If they're not kidding, they might just have a lead for you two." He smirked, and as the Elrics turned around, I blushed. A LOT. Ed's even HOTTER IN PERSON! EEE! Calm down, calm down. I have no chance with him. Besides, he belongs to Winry and vice versa.

"Hey! Um, Colonel Miniskirt, you said you were going to assign bodyguards for us? You know, in case if we do something...fishy!" I grinned and Jaquelin made room for a small smile, waving as she did.

"Oh yes! These two are your bodyguards!" Mustang, did you not plan this out?

"WHAT?!"

"HUH?!"

"..."

"What?!" Ed looked like he was about to burst, and Al, just tried to do the most reasonable thing: calm him down.

"NO WAY IN HELL! WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR BABY-SITTING!" I grinned even more, and walked closer to him.

"Oh really? Do you realize you just met a person that's s-s-taboo word than you? Hmm? Also, we, sorry, I, have lots of information for you!~" I skipped around the room, humming a familiar tune.

"She's...shorter than me? YES! FINALLY! SOMEONE THAT I CAN RELATE TO!" He began fist-pumping the air, and his ego grew bigger and bigger.

"Hey, don't you want proof that we're from the other side of the Gate?" Ed stopped whatever the hell he's doing, and listened.

"Yes."

"Okay! How about the time your mom, Trisha, served both of you guys milk for the first time and you tried to force-feed it to Al and what ended up happening was that you dumped your glass of milk over his head? Also, I already knew your names, even more proof! Tee hee!"

"Are you sure that your just not some fortuneteller?" I smirked. What, just because I lie a lot doesn't mean I won't tell the truth in these kinds of situations.

"Pfft, you've got to be KIDDING me, right?! Listen to our story, no interruptions. Questions at the end. Jaquelin's not speaking because I know the FULL story, but you can bond with her. Okay, even shutting up now? Okay. Good. So Cigarettes, Guns, Colonel Pervert, and Harry Potter, sit down. That includes you, Armor Boy and Mr. I Have a Big Ego!" You know which one were about to burst, but I reminded them, no talking until the end or ELSE. I gave them my creepy fangirl smile, then cleared my throat and smiled sweetly, as if like nothing happened. I bet that they got chills...

"Okay. Let's begin. First off, these are what we wear to sleep. I know, I know, weird-looking clown suits. But hey! They're comfortable! Anyways, back to our story. Gee, where to begin...the dream? Our life stories? Our world? Hmm...HEY! YOU! NO WALKING AWAY! I'LL TACKLE YOU!" Havoc stopped in his steps, sweatdropping with the others.

"I was going to use the men's room. And then take a smoke break." I glared at him. Wow. By the time he reaches 40, he's gonna die of freaking lung cancer cause he smokes a pack an hour.

"Uh huh. Fine. Men's room, I give you a minute. Smoke break? You've gotta be fucking kidding me. You're gonna die because of those smokes. Cut back to a pack a week." I waved my hand around, and he stared real hard at me.

"You're just a lit-" I quickly kicked him in the balls. Wrong move, Havoc. Wrong move. I punched him in the gut, then when he fell, I grabbed his smoke pack, then returned to my seat, after I threw his smoke pack out the window, of course. Jaquelin was about to give me a lecture, and the others probably thought I had bad manners. The Elrics? I probably reminded them of Izumi.

"NOO! MY SMOKES! Owww...My gut..." Since I'm not a ruthless person, I helped him up, and whispered in his ear "Don't. Call. Me. LITTLE." He gulped and understood. Good. Havoc ran out the door, most likely to grab his smokes. I dusted off my hands, and grinned at them.

"And that's why you NEVER call me small! Also, don't smoke, kids! It can kill you faster then the Colonel's useless flames!" I sat back down, receiving laughs from Crazy Cat Boy, Antenna Boy, and a stunt-double for Harry Potter.

"WHY YOU-" Too bad. Riza has you on a leash. She can pull it as hard as she wants to. Yep. She pulled it.

"Thanks, Hawkeye. Anyways, back to our story! So I basically dreamt that this happened and the last thing I saw of my dream was my friend in Rush Valley. I was hoping to find him, regroup our gang, and find a way to get back home. So...I know you'll say no, but we, I mean, I have a lead on the Philosopher's Stone if you want. Jaquelin's here to tag along. And be the mom of the group." I smirked at my answer, and I think Ed gave in, which is SUPER OOC, if you ask me.

"Fine. But only for the lead, nothing else. We'll find your friend along the way too. Remember, if you get in trouble, I swear-"

"That you'll never save us again. Got it. I know a particular teacher we can go to that's along the way. She can help us with combat." I smirked and the brothers got the message. Jaquelin still looked clueless, but she knew it was bad news. We were going to train with Izumi Curtis.

 **~Author's Note~  
Cliffhanger! I know, I know. THE CHARACTERS ARE TOO OOC! I KNOW THAT! I'm sorry, this is really really bad. Next chapter we'll continue with questions, but yeah. Most of the actions were the same, and I want the readers to imagine their expressions in that situation instead of reading it, so I don't put details. I know, sounds SUPER cheesy. :P Anyways, have a WONDERFUL day! This is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~**


	3. OMG! I HAVE NEW CLOTHES?

**~Announcement~**

 **Hey guys! My laptop just HAD TO restart and even though I copied this chapter, after it restarted I couldn't paste it! So I lost my sanity. Along with my other unfinished chapters. :( BUT! I feel it! I feel willpower and creativeness running through my body again, so I decided to write! Bad thing is, I have school. AND art classes, EXTRA math classes I still hate, flute lessons, AND Chinese school. So I'm basically busy nonstop. :P But PLEASE ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS! I WANT FEEDBACK! Are the FMA characters too OOC? Let me know! And yeah. Onto boring stuff!**

 **Disclaimer: I do NOT own FMA or else every fight scene would include a shirtless Edward. And no, not the pale, keeps on staring, sparkling vampire Edward. :P**

 **Warning: For my foul mouth and dirty mind. Seriously, my two friends read this and were speechless. Can YOU make TWO PEOPLE go speechless? I think not. Well, in some cases, yes.**

 **~-!-~**

"Y-Y-You...You don't mean..." Ed gulped cutely and stared at me with wide eyes.

"You don't mean...Teacher, right?" I stared at him blankly, and then at Al.

"No, I mean we're training with Splinter. OBVIOUSLY WE'RE TRAINING WITH HER! DO YOU THINK I KNOW ANYONE ELSE?! NO!" They looked immediately frightened of the thought. By the way, Roy is not Xingnese; he just has really squinty eyes. Fuery could be mistaken for a REALLY GOOD cosplayer of Harry Potter, Breda...one of the vikings, and Falman as your history teacher. Am I forgetting someone...?! Oh! Havoc looks like a...guy. He just looks like a random guy. Kinda cute, but...just a guy. Ed...JUST READ OTHER FANFICS FOR DESCRIPTION! I'M TOO EMBARASSED TO THINK ABOUT IT! EEE! Ahem. Al actually looks like one of those creepy knight statues in castles but not really at all intiminating.

"Brother, do they have coffin sizes for a person like me?"

"I don't know. But I hope I can fill out my will on the train..." They looked like that they needed Tamaki's Emo Corner of Depression. Poor dudes. I patted both on the back as Mustang slapped down papers in front of us.

"Here. FullMetal, this is your will. Sign it with a black pen please. Girls, here are packets you need to fill out. It contains questions you need to answer throurghly and truthfully. Interrogation begins shortly afterwards. FullMetal and your brother can spectate the process." I have no words for what just happened. How about we skip to the interesting part?

~SKIPPING TO THE INTERESTING PART (4 Hours Later)~

And...Done! Why would Mustang write 300 questions, 1/3 of them involving feminine/personal stuff? Oh right, because it IS Mustang. Stupid cock-sucker. And why did Riza approve of this? I have no fucking clue. Wait, I know what to do! Even though no one would believe me back home, I'm going to buy a notebook and jot down what happens everyday, turning it into a fanfic! I'm a genius! I turned to my left. Jaquelin's still on the fourth page. Oh well. Oh shit. I'm gonna pee my pants. I quickly (and daintly!) slap down the packet on Mustang's desk, throwing the pen at him. I whispered to Hawkeye my situation, and she nodded. I followed her, as everyone stared down the crap out of us. Actually, just me. Unless they have a crush on Hawkeye, then yeah. Stare down us both and the last thing you'll ever hear is a loud BANG! Hawkeye cleared her throat, and turned to me.

"Miss Meicee, do you know who put you here or anything about your arrival?" I shook my head, and faced her. God, if she wasn't a sniper or anything she could be a supermodel!

"Other than the dream fortelling my future? Nope." I popped the "p," kind of skipping down the hallway. Once we got to the restroom, it was...more futuristic for their time. Just imagine one of those restrooms in the really nice kinds of Dim Sum restaurants except with pastel colors.

"You have several minutes, five minutes is your max. I'll be standing guard at your stall." I nodded, and since this restroom has so many freaking stalls, including showers, I went to the tenth row, going inside the third stall (if you get this reference, I'll most likely freak out :P). You don't need to hear the details of what happened in the stall. Lets just say that it was...refreshing. I got out of the stall, going to the eleventh sink, washing my hands with some lavender soap. After I dried off my hands, we went back into the hospital-like hallways. Great.

"Ri-I mean, Ms. Hawkeye, do you think that we could get some new clothes, some shoes, and other things?"

"Yes. But most likely Havoc or Elric would buy them." I sweatdropped. Mustang! That stingy pervert! Ahh, who am I kidding?! I'm quite stingy and according to my friends, I'm sort of a pervert too! Anyways, lets get to the juicy part! Don't need any bones in this fa- I mean, brain, work with me!

~SKIPPING TO THE MIDDLE OF AN INTERESTING PART! (1 Hour Later)~

"-and you have no idea how, nor when, you got here, is that correct?"

"Well, I know the time, kind of, but it might be a different time zone like said in one of the fanf-uh, never mind. But the Truth could've put us here for his entertainment for all I know!" Since I'm too embarrassed to say his name, E came barging in, with a look of shock on his face.

"YOU SAW THAT THING, DIDN'T YOU?! YOU SAW THAT GOD AWFUL THING, RIGHT?!" He pointed at me, shaking and sweating fretfully.

"Uh no. Actually, does it count if I saw him through moving pictures and a book as a story? Other than that, I never saw that genderless thing in my whole entire life, even in person. And Jaquelin here, most likely not." He sighed and panted, out of breath from yelling that much. Al came in, almost bumping his head. Hmm. Most likely trying to calm E's "manly" tits down. Oh god. Internal nosebleed. The female interrogator cleared her throat, and continued with the questions.

"Okay. Try and answer these five questions all in one go. How old are you, where are you from, what's your full name, your class status, and your whole entire family." Wow. Could've asked in the beginning. Whatever. Lets get this shit over with.

"I'm twelve, from Los Angeles, California, which is part of the United States, which is in North America, which is on the planet Earth. My full name is Meicee Oceana Hui-Fang, and I think lower middle class? I don't know. I don't really give a-I mean, I don't really pay much attention to that. I live with my parents, two grandmas, my sister, my brother, and my parakeet Inko-Chan. My two other sisters and my future brother-in law live somewhere else near our house." She nodded and jotted it down. Actually, this isn't even interesting! Lets skip!

~After Interrogation!~

"Hey Jaquelin, I don't really want to do this, but I have to become a State Alchemist." I said as I walked out of the interrogation room, saying hi to Jaquelin before I made that simple comment. As the aMAZIng Meicee, I predict she'll have no fucking clue what I'm talking about!

"Huh?" See?! The aMAZIng Meicee did it again! Thank you, thank you!

"It's one of the most dangerous jobs in this world. I need to do this for us. For protection." Wait, why did I sound serious? I NEVER sound serious!

"You can barely fight! You must be joking yourself!" Bitch please. I'm trying to help you! Who would have a better chance of living here: an otaku that's madly in love with a blonde pipsqueak; or a sane person that doesn't know the fuck she's doing?! Actually, both are pretty bad...

"Do I look like I'm joking? This is BOUND to happen! I mean, every fanfic I've read goes in this direction! Besides, we have no choice now, do we?"

"We do have a choice. Dying, living a normal life, and not doing whatever you're doing are choices." Stop smart-mouthing me!

"Look, either you go off not seeing your family again or do you want to at least hope and try to get back?! Which one?!"

"...Stop. It's my decision." Gah! I hate it when you do that!

"Look. I'm trying to help you. After that freaking long interrogation what are you going to do after today? I am following your guidelines. But there's one guideline that won't be fufilled for long: not dying. There might be people after us because we come from a different world. They might use us. Just please, follow what we're doing. I know you hate to, but for now, for the time we're stuck here, just...listen." I would've put up a fight with her, but now we're in a life or death situation. E and Al came into the waiting room. Thank god!

"Hey, you need some clothes, right? We're taking you to downtown. You each get 8000 cenz to spend. I'm on a tight budget here." He gave us a bunch of paper money and some coins. I put them in my robe's pocket, and tightened my robe.

"Okay! So where exactly is downtown, King of the Dwarfs?" Great! I get to see him rant! Another thing off my bucket list!~

"WHO YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE COULD BE MISTAKEN FOR AN ANT'S BABY?! CAN SOMEONE SMALL DO THIS?!" He was about to roundhouse kick me, but like always, Al held him back, sweatdropping as he did.

"Brother! Be nice! We are here to protect them, not kill them!" As E struggled, he then sighed and gave up.

"Fine. But I swear..." He gave me a death glare that can make even the toughest of the tough cower. Weird. I didn't cower. I just fangirled.

"Eddie, don't worry! Come on, let's go!" I grabbed Al and Jaquelin, then E. Ahh, sometimes my girly personality gets the best of me...

~Downtown~

"Hmm, all boring clothing stores...Hey boys, can't we just go into a men's store? I don't really mind wearing stuff like that." I played with my coins, trying to filp two at a time.

"Whatever. We don't have all day. We need to go to the hotel Winry checked into. She's going to shove a wrench up my ass if we're late." He seems mre like a cute asshole in person. Wait wut?

"Why?" Oh god, which of my personalities are going to get the best of me?! Fangirl?! Girly girl?! Adventurous?! Curious?! Serious?! Insane?! I have wayyyy too many...

"We told her we'll take her to a nice restaurant after shopping. Geez, doesn't she ever take a break?"

"Well, Al can go get her while you watch us shop here. It's not that hard. We can kill two birds with one stone."

"Fine. Be right back. I'll go tell Al." I sighed, and dragged Jaquelin to a random store in front of us.

"Where are we going?"

"To buy clothes. Hey, if we get back home, I might turn this into a fanfic!" I got a few black t-shirts, extra small of course. I browsed the pants section before several pairs of leggings caught my attention.

"Ugh, not again."

"What? Even though people won't believe it it still happened! Aren't you glad you are experiencing this right now?! Oh wait, I'm forgetting about Nick..." Nick's the guy that I brainwashed into manga and anime, mostly FullMetal Alchemist. Ahh, it's going to be baller when he meets them in person!

"Whatever. What clothes did you get so far?" I pointed to the heaping pile of dark colored clothes, and some brightly colored socks and brown combat boots.

"I got 7 pairs of leggings, each one for each day of the week, 5 t-shirts since I can reuse some, 7 pairs of brightly colored socks, and the smallest size of brown combat boots, or what I think are combat boots, they have. I also got 1 extra of everything just in case shit happens." Insert tongue sticking out emoji here.

"Oh. I got...8 different colored shirts, 3 long sleeves, a coat, some socks, and a pair of boots."

"Oh thanks! I need to get some long sleeves too!" I ran back to the 50% off racks and grabbed a navy blue sweater, 2 dark brown long sleeves, and a black sweatshirt. I also grabbed the smallest coat which went to my ankles from a 30% rack. As you can guess, I'm VERY stingy so I got everything from the clearance and on sale racks. What? I need to buy toiletries too! Anyways, I ran back to Jaquelin and asked if she was ready to pay. She said yes and we went to the cashier.

"Hello and welcome! Sorry I didn't greet you traveling street performers earlier! I was in the back sorting our newest selections!" Street performers? Oh yeah, our clothes look weird and we both look like we're from Xing. Before Jaquelin could say anything, I blurted out a really bad lie.

"Yeah! We're street performers from Xing! This is my assistant and I can see the future! Because of my great skill, the military asked me to help them with their cases! These clothes are how much?" He glanced at us, and did a "ooh I remember something but I don't know what" face, and took the pile of clothes, checked each price tag, and started counting up money, er, cenz.

"Lets see...300 cenz...50 klus..." He muttered some more about the currency, and then put everything in 2 paper bags.

"Here! All together it is 6000 cenz and 87 klus!" I handed him 7000 cenz and he gave me 7 coins, all different shapes, and a handwritten receipt.

"Have a nice day! Thank you for shopping at Clarkson's!" When Jaquelin was about to head out, I stopped her and yelled across the store probably the most embarrassing thing ever.

"Do you know a store that has women's toiletries, notebooks, pens, and other items all in one?" The man (I don't know his name by the way he is in his early 20s) blushed a bit, and pointed to the store next door. How convenient! I thanked him and went to the store next door, which was like 99 Cents Store but more antique and elegant and has less non-caucasians shopping there. Fine, maybe some Xingnese people here and there, but yeah. It's overtaken by caucasians, or Amestrians. Okay I'm gonna stop being the cock sucker I am. I mean that I'm going to stop fucking myself! I mean...aw shitty poop. Gonna shut the fuck up now!~ Actually, I'm gonna keep talking in my mind because I'm fucking crazy and I saw a fudging cool notebook!~ I ran over to the notebook (I run when I'm fangirling or excited :P) and touched the black leathery cover, skimming the white pages inked with midnight lines and curly decor in the corners. Wait wut? When did I become poetic? So in long story short, we (I) bought lots of old fashioned pads, pen and the notebook, and random toiletries, leaving us with 200 cenz and 5 klus combined. We walked out of the store and saw E napping on a bench, with Al and Winry sitting beside them. Wait WINRY?! OHMYFUCKINGFUCKMOTHEROFABITCHGODDD! I ran up to her and hugged her, and she stared at me with a "huh who the fuck are you" face. Wait wut? Since when did Winry travel with the Elrics? They just came back from Loire, so that doesn't make any sense...Unless this is the unauthorized and deleted version of the manga/anime...Or something...I can't put my finger on it...Meanwhile outside my twisted mind...

"OHMAHGAWDOHMYGAWIT'SYOUWINRYOHMAHGAWDOHMYGAWOHMYGAWDOHMYGAWD! ASSDFGHJKLQWERTYUIOPZXCVBNM!" I jumped up and down and all around, clapping my hands and acting like a fangirl. Wait, I'm already a fangirl. -_-

"Wait what? Do you know this girl, ED?" She was holding a wrench, maybe mad that I kinda "attacked" her. Uh oh, she has diamond eyes. Shit's gonna go downtown...

"Um...uh...DON'TKILLMEWINRY! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HER AND HER FRIEND'S BODYGUARDS!" He was making a blocking move and Winry backed away, turning back into her girly personality.

"Sorry about that! My name's Winry Rockbell, and I'm currently running an errand for my Granny and I so happened to BUMP INTO THESE TWO IDIOTS!~" How can she make something sound menacing and cute at the same time? Oh god, not another Hunny-sempai...

"Hey..I'm Meicee and this is Jaquelin. We just bought clothes! I'm a HUGE FAN of your work! Tell me, what kinds of metal do you use to make the limbs more lightweight?..." I made a thumbs up sign to them, as they sweatdropped and Winry became a fangirl. I immediately regretted my decision but at the same time it was interesting, and also boring. Timeskip!~

~At the Fancy Smacy Restaurant that Winry Requested~

"AND THAT'S WHY SILVER IS GOOD TO USE BUT YET IS TOO WEAK TO USE! ANYWAYS, HAVE YOU HEARD THAT IRON AND ALUMINUM MAKE A GREAT COMBO WHEN MAKING LEGS? IT'S BECAUSE IRON IS-" TUNING HER OUT! TUNING HER OUT!~ Ahem. Anyways, we're at this restaurant called Werio's that Winry wanted to go to because it has such "magnificant" metals (i.e. plates, statues, automail) and she wanted to bathe in the glory of it. Oh yeah, did I tell my brain that we changed into the clothes we bought and I tied my greasy hair up and when we came back to the table they didn't recognize us and E blushed when he knew it was us? Gosh, that was the longest run on sentence I ever made. Anyways, the waiter is sweatdropping and probably thinking that he should hit on Winry because she's cute but at the same time thinking that she's a lunatic so he SHOULDN'T hit on her.

"Um Winry? The waiter's waiting for you to answer."

"Waiters are supposed to wait, idiot! Why do you think that they're called WAITERS THEN?!" And the bickering between our favorite couple begins.

"Um, I'll order first then! I'll have lemonade and lamb chops please! The blondies over there want over 10 pounds of meat with 2 pounds of vegetables! Anything is okay! Also, Jackie, what do you want?"

"Umm...I'll have the same, but more veggies, please." She closed the menu and put it in the pile in the middle.

"What about the tall armor guy?"

"Umm, he's technically not hungry; he just came along because the lady-" I pointed at Winry, who was still fighting with E, "wants to eat here." The waiter gulped then nodded, writing down our orders. He then scooched away, almost running. Oh my god. This is going to be a longgggg day. Fuck that, week. Month. Year? Decade?! Ahhh who cares...

"Hey um guys?" They didn't hear me. Well, they took the bad way. I grabbed my plate and bonked both on the head, and I'm gonna die by the wrath of a 12 year old girl obssessed with metals.

"Ow! What the fuck, girl?!"

"Language, Ed! Anyways, iron is-" I shushed her, and covered her mouth.

"Shhhhh. Do you hear that? Silence. Pure silence. No crazy blonde person yelling. Bathe in the glory of silence. By the way, we already ordered for you. I hope-AUGH! BITCH!" Yep. I got wrenched by Winry.

"That was for whacking me back into reality, Meicee! Anyways, why are they guarding you guys?"

"Umm, we'll tell you later, but keep this a secret, okay?~" I held out my pinkie, and we linked it together. Wait. Isn't that a pinkie promise?! Whatever.

"What kind of errand did your Granny send you on?"

"Oh! She told me to deliver an automail limb to one of her customers in Loire and that's when I saw these TWO IDIOTS RUINING THEIR RELIGION!"

"WE DID NOT!"

"DID TOO! YOU FREAKING RUINED THEIR CHAPEL!"

"IT WAS A CHURCH!"

"SAME THING!" And the bickering begins. Again. How long will this last? Who would win? Join us next time on Badass VS Jackass!

 **~Author's Note~**

 **Hey guys! I know it's been a longgggg time since I last uploaded so I'm so sorry fr any delay what so ever! Please don't hurt me! Anyways, I have TONS of fanfic ideas in my brain so I MIGHT post them not here, but on my WattPad account I barely use!~ Yay!~ So I guess that's it. This is BlackMIdnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~**


	4. OMG! I'M SO EMBARRASSED! (00)

**~Announcement~**

 **Hey guys! I'm actually dying of shock since Nick and um...let's just say she's Marise from this fanfic, favorite and follow me, which is soooo weird for me to have my friends follow me here, you know? I also have this other friend that's hyped about my first fanfic, The Girl with the Notebook, which WILL be updated soon!~ So I have "lots of support" (not including the other trillion fangirls inside of me) and thanks so much for reading it so far! I know it's a bit slow, but PLEASE bear with me!~ Also, if you leave a GREAT suggestion or review I'll be sure to mention you in a chapter! Also, if you have ANY OCs I can use for ANY ONE OF MY FANFICS, PLEASE SEND THEM IN! I'll LOVE to work with you!~ So PM me or leave a review! I'll be happy to work with you! No seriously, we have NO reviews...**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own FMA because I'm the Queen of Otakus, not the Queen of Cows.**

 **Warning: Cussing and mature themes suggested. If you are allergic to that, side effects may include: you cussing, you making perverted jokes, you sneezing a lot, you turning into Author Lady, etc. Batteries Not Included. All Rights Reserved.**

 **~_!_~**

"AND THAT'S WHY YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A JACKASS, JACKASS!" Winry was about to Chuck Norris Ed (OMG FANGASM!) with just her knife in hand, along with a spoon and fork. I mean, SALAD FORK! You have to be precise, ya know? Ed (OMG ASDFGHJKL!), I'm just going to call him um...uh...I know! E! It's much easier, and plus, shorter! Pun intended, though. It's ALWAYS INTENDED!~ Anyways, he was going to transmute the SHIT out of Winry, until Al held him back, sweatdropping as usual.

"Brother, just apologize to Winry and eat peacefully, okay? Winry, you are at fault too, lashing out on Brother like that. Brother, Winry, just apologize, okay? No harmed feelings, okay? Hehe..." The two glared at poor Al, with the "bitch are you serious" face. Al sweatdropped again, and the blondes raised whatever weapons at the living armor, but then turned to each other, growling fiercely like cats. Wait how am I describing a scene so furiously? Oh yeah, because I plan to use it in a fanfic. -_- Anyways, a war between blondes just broke out. AGAIN. Our food's already here, but...Jaquelin's pretty pissed and want to yell at them, but seems like she's a bit afraid to yell at strangers. So once again, I stood up, grabbing an extra plate in front of Al, and bonked both on the head, as I silently flipped them off.

"Guys, even though you may show that you like each other through violence, please, I mean PLEASE, CONTROL YOURSELVES AND EAT YOUR FUCKING MEAL! IT'S GOING TO EITHER MY MOUTH OR THE WASTE IF YOU DON'T FUCKING EAT! Sorry 'bout that! Hehe!~" I said the last parts in my high-pitched girly voice, and did what I think was a cutesy pose. I then sat back down, still looking at them. They both looked dumbfounded, then quickly charged their anger towards not each other, but me. Aww fuck. I tried to do something good and now God punishes me with two really good-looking, cute, hot, really pissed blondes? God must really like me or hate me. Oh wait, I didn't tell my brain that I'm bisexual?! I thought that Brain-Kun knew! Whatever. For the dumb dumbs, bisexual people like both genders, but not gays or transgenders. If they do, then in that case they are pansexual, like Miley Cyrus. The more you know!~ So yeah. I already told Jaquelin and Marice, so how am I suppose to come out to the FMA cast and Nick?...

"Meicee! You did not need to whack them on the head! That's mean AND disrespectful! Also, chew with your mouth closed! What are you, a boy or something?!" Ouch. That hit me in the spot, Jaquelin. I rubbed the back of my head, tightening my hair tie in the process.

"Sorry! You know, you need to use violence to whack them back to reality sometimes, you know? Sorry about that! Hehe!" I continued eating, and FINALLY they sat back down before they get three strikes. Yes, I saw the manager counting the strikes our table has because of them. One strike for being loud, and another for being violent and destroying their silverware in the process.

"Whatever. Let's just...eat faster." Jaquelin rolled her eyes, and went back to eati-HOLY COW SHIT! SHE'S ALMOST FINISHED! I looked at my plate, halfway finished. I glanced at Winry, who was slowly tearing her meat, looking awfully guilty. Then at E, who had a sour, scrunched up face, playing with his fork while eating. Al looked uncomfortable, even though he has no expression whatsoever. Since I read the manga, it was easy to tell what they were feeling at different situations. Jaquelin is obviously pissed at us, based on her voice. I felt guilty and sad, feeling that all of this was my fault. Once we get to the hotel I'll apologize to them.

~SOMETIME WHEN THEY CALLED THE BILL~

"1300 Cenz and 450 Klus?! Geez, just how MUCH did you order for us, shortie?!" OH FUCK YOUR FREAKING CUTENESS! YOU ARE GOING DOWN! I glared at him sourly, mouthing "fuck you" to him. He scrunched up his face even more, slapping down the money hard. THAT'S IT! I CAN'T CONTROL MY ANGER!

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORTIE, SHRIMP?! WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT YOU NEED NOT TWO, BUT ONE MILLION MICROSCOPES TO JUST SEE ME?!" He stood up, almost flipping the table. Jaquelin sighed with Winry, while Al sweatdropped AGAIN. How much can Al sweat drop in a day?!

"I AM, PIPSQUEAK! SUCK IT UP AND ACCEPT IT! YOU. ARE. SHORTER. THAN. ME!" I grabbed a fork and licked it all around, ready to disgust and torture him at the same time. I know the best way of torturing, just ask Nick when he's around, Brain-Kun. JUST ASK. Actually, stabbing him won't do. I'll lose. Let's see...I know! Licking! I laughed hysterically, and leaned on the table, licking his face. I returned to my position, laughing still. Jaquelin punched me weakly, glaring at me. I gave her an "I'm sorry talk bout this later" look. I don't think she got my message. Well fuck. Anyways, he was frozen with the same expression for a minute or two, while I wiped his face with an unused napkin. I whispered sorry in his ear, and tried to smile. That didn't work. So instead I dragged him out of the restaurant, apologizing to the manager again and again. I think he was glad that we left, considering that we made a lot of commotion.

"Meicee, stop picking fights with that blonde girl over there and Edward! Also, who's this guy in armor? He keeps following us around. It's getting creepy, no offense." I facepalmed as Winry sweatdropped with Al. E finally came back to life, facepalming too.

"What? I was asking a question!" I put a hand on her shoulder, shaking my head and sighing a lot.

"It WAS a question, of course, but a question many would shake their heads at, considering Armor Dude here-" I pointed at Al, who was waving nervously.

"Is indeed Alphonse Elric, cute blondie's brother and traveling companion. Also Winry's childhood friend. Oops. I said too fucking much. Scooch away, scooch away!~" E had a devilishly evil grin on his face, dragging my away to the hotel/inn in the process. I was struggling to get away from his grasp, but it was firm, but at the same time gentle. Hmm. I probably did many things an otaku would do: eat with the characters, interact with them, possibly hugged them...Also, I bear hugged, licked, and argued with everyone's favorite alchemist! I mean, that's PRETTY sweet, right? Right? No one? Okay, I'm just gonna let it go with Elsa now...

~AT THE HOTEL/INN THINGY~

"Explain. How did you know that Winry was our childhood friend?" Oh god. He looks cute whenever where ever. I blushed heavily again like any Mary-Sue fangirl. I then finally said something. Yay.

"Like I told you, I'm a fortuneteller from the future. Winry, are you ready to hear the truth now? Why Jaquelin and I are here?" She nodded, gulping in the process. I then smiled and clapped my hands, dancing around like the idiot I am.

"Good! Cause it's a long story! Sit down kiddos, cause Meicee the AMAZING FORTUNETELLER is going to tell you a story!~" They settled in the hotel room even more, as Al stood behind them. Jaquelin took a seat in the coffee seat, and I bounced on the bed as I told them the long story of me. And Jaquelin, of course. :P

~A LONG TIME LATER. SO LONG THAT EVEN AUTHOR LADY DOESN'T KNOW.~

"-And all I know now is that Nick, my other friend that's obsessed with the show (ANIME!), is in Rush Valley. Other than that I'm completely clueless about my surroundings." They seem so engrossed into my story, even though E and Al heard it already. When I was done, they completely blanked out, blinking and yawning. Winry got up and excused herself to go the the bathroom to freshen up, and possibly think about all the shit I told her, if it's fantasy or reality. All I can say is that it's complete reality, possibly with a few bullshit moments here and there. :P

"Meicee, after Winry gets out I'm going to take a shower. You can take one after I do." She got up, getting her bag of clothes and an extra towel from the closet. I stood up, and did the same thing.

"Remember, this shower may be the only one out of the whole week considering that they travel a lot and stuff. SO get used to being dirty to the core. Not in the mind though. Even though I am already. Lol."

"Ew! That's disgusting! Also, don't say the f-word next time. It bothers me." I shrugged and laughed.

"Better get used to it then! And nope! I won't listen to you because A. they say it too and B. I won't do anything about it until more than 10 people get annoyed by me saying fuck. So good luck trying to convince strangers! Haha!" Winry came out as soon as I said that, and looked away. She gathered her things and opened the door.

"I'm going to my room, which is next door. Jaquelin, Meicee, do you want to come along too? You can sleep there." I shook my head, yelling "NOPE!" in a high-pitched voice.

"I'll shower here first, then go to your room. Meicee, you can shower over there if you want."

"No thanks! How about we both use it at the same time? You know, you take a shower while I brush my teeth and vice versa. Besides, they might want to use the bathroom too. It'll only take us half an hour!~" She sighed heavily, and I know she wouldn't want to do that cause 1. EW! LESBIANS! and 2. EW! DISGUSTING! So I was ready to persuade her.

"No way! That's disgusting!"

"Yeah but we ARE the same gender, AND we have the same parts, so what's the harm? Besides, I'm not THAT much of a pervert! And it's not like either one of them are going in! If they were, I would call attempted rape and possibly kill them before they turn 16!" The boys behind us blushed and gulped wide-eyed, backing up too. I giggled, and I went inside. Jaquelin went inside after me, sighing and probably thinking that she will regret it. Once we were inside the completely white, tiled room, I locked the door, putting my bag on the counter and towel on the rack. Jaquelin was just standing there, looking at me.

"What? Put your stuff near the shower. Undress in the shower with the curtain closed. Here, I'll help you." Jaquelin was hesitant, but then stepped in the shower, closing the blue curtain. She handed me her clothes, and I put them in the bag, separating them from the ones she bought.

~SOMETIME AFTER JAQUELIN FINISHED SHOWERING AND ALSO I'M TOO LAZY TO WRITE~

"Can you hand me my towel, Meicee?" I took the towel from the rack, and handed it to her.

"Hey, um...How long would it take you to dress back to your p-jammies?"

"Not long. Just don't stare at one another while switching, okay? Hand me my bag now." I handed Jaquelin her bag, and got my towel from the rack, moving my bag closer to the shower in the process.

"Okay. I'm coming out now. Don't look." I looked down, stepping into the shower as Jaquelin steps out. I closed the curtain, and heard water rushing form the sink.

~SOMETIME WHEN THE MAIN CHARACTER IS SHOWERING~

"Jaquelin, what are you doing? Why the hell are you still in here?" I heard a faint sound of shuffling, barely hearing anything because of the loud drips of the fucking water.

"I'm organizing my clothes. Are you almost done?"

"Yep. Several more minutes. Can you organize outside?" I heard more rustling and Jaquelin saying something, but it was faint. I heard the door closing, and some footsteps. After few more minutes, I heard the door open again. Did Jaquelin forget something? Whatever. I'm not going to butt in. Wait what's that cold feeling I felt? The motion of something-

"HOW THE FUCK STOP CLOSE IT I HATE YOU YOU STOP STARING OR ELSE I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU! I'M SO COLD!" I quickly and furiously closed the curtain, blushing so much that I was almost smiling. I should've been happy cause I'm pervy, but...

(Okay. In the heat of the moment, basically Ed came in to take a shower, not noticing that poor poor Meicee didn't come out yet. Annoyed that one of them didn't turn off the water, he opened the curtain, seeing and eventually staring at her, since he never saw a woman's body before. Poor poor virgin. Anyways, before that, he already locked the door so Jaquelin couldn't tell him that she was still inside. Also he took off his shirt before opening the curtain, so it was equally awkward. Back to the story.)

GOD DAMN! HE WAS PRETTY RIPPED FOR A 12-YEAR OLD! NO NO NO! DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT! I turned off the shower, blushing while I drip of embarrassment.

"Hey, um...Ed? Can you hand me my towel?" He did, and I'm pretty sure he was blushing too. I took the towel, drying off and wrapping it around myself. I opened the curtain and walked out, seeing E sitting on the toilet, still shirtless of course. I blushed and tried not to look at him.

"Um...Even though I don't really mind because I don't usually give a fuck about things...Can you leave? Just so...It wouldn't get more awkward? Sorry bout that!" I bowed and some flecks of water got on him, and he stood up, grabbing his shirt and towel, walking out of the door. I felt a brief breeze when he opened the door, and it felt soothing. You know when your mirror gets all fogged up when you shower and someone opens a door? Yeah. Exactly like that. When I was done, I came out, blushing, thinking of all the thoughts Jaquelin and Al might have.

"I tried to tell him, but he rushed inside too fast. Sorry." I smiled and walked up to Jaquelin, folding my towel as I do so.

"Don't worry! Nothing really happened in there, except that he walked in and did his thing, ya know? It's nothing to worry about!~ Hehe!" I know that my lying skills were REALLY BAD, but I didn't want things to get more awkward.

"Are you sure? He could've opened the shower curtain." E and I blushed heavily, and both looked away at the same time. I laughed nervously, rubbing the back of my head. I put my towel in my bag, on top of my p-jammies.

"No! He would do no such thing! If he did, then I would've killed him already!~ Hehe! He just walked in, that's all!" I WAS telling half truth, since he DID walk in. So I'm not EXACTLY worried about my lying skills.

"Whatever. I'm going to Winry's room. Are you coming?" I shook my head, dropping my bag.

"Nope! I'm too lazy to get up and walk over there! Besides, I don't feel as though you would be willing to share a bed with me since I DO kick and move around a bit in my sleep! So I rather stay here and sleep in Al's bed instead. I already know that Al would already give up his bed and sleep on the couch instead, so...yeah." She walked towards the door, about to leave until Al stopped my friend.

"Wait! Before you leave, tomorrow we're leaving to go to Rush Valley and drop you off in Dublith, so be ready by 6:00 in the morning! The train's leaving at 6:40! Keep that in mind! Have a nice sleep!" Al bowed as she said good night to us, closing the door quietly. That left me with two boys in a room of silence. I then laughed and clapped my hands, getting out my notebook.

"That's right! I have this BABY! OH HOW I MISSED WRITING!" I kissed the notebook several times, getting out my pen, clicking it several times.

"You...Are weird, you know that? I'm going to shower." E went inside, and I yelled "I know! Thanks!" Al sweatdropped, and moved towards me.

"Sorry for Brother's behavior. Sometimes he can get carried away, but he means well. What do you need this notebook for anyways?"

"To record what happened to me so far and in the future so I'll remember this rowdy adventure! Once I get back to my world I'm going to turn this int a fanfic! Hehe! I can't WAIT to see Nick's face when he sees this!" I giggled and jumped on the bed, doing a little fun dance I created.

"What's a fanfic? Who's Nick? Can you tell me more about him?" I stopped bouncing around and smiled at Al, ready to tell him all about fanfiction. And for the record, I smiled evilly and laughed.

"Ohohoho...You'll be in for a treat, Mr. Alphonse Elric, you are IN for a treat...So! A fanfic is the abbreviated form for fanfiction, and the fans of a book, a TV show, or moving pictures on a screen, or anything, change the plot by changing the ending, continuing the story with their kids or grandchildren, adding a character, or making two characters date instead of the original, stuff like that. Nick...To put this simply, he's just a guy in my class that I brainwashed into what I'm obsessed with: the manga FullMetal Alchemist. I know your futures but I don't dare try to change it by telling you, but I can tell a few things. Sadly not now. Anyways, he's a fun, out-going guy to talk to, and he wants an automail limb because he thinks it's cool...but I think that it's something that drags you down back into your past, reminding you of what you did. But it also gives you willpower to move forward and don't look back, even though at time you have to. Sorry for rambling on and on!" I really didn't think that Al minded, but I say sorry a lot. Like one time my friend purposely untied my shoelace and stepped on it for fun, and I WAS THE ONE THAT SAID SORRY! She laughed and told me I was too nice for my own good sometimes. Ahhh good times. Also, I suffer from schediaphilia, or in simpler words I'm sexually attracted to animated characters. I learned that through Pinterest. The more you know!~ Anyways, do I REALLY suffer from it because FMA isn't 2D anymore, it's reality? Or does it count because other animes can't be accessed through life? Whatever. I'm think wayyy too much.

"No! I actually enjoyed your ramble! It was interesting to see your point of view on some things and what fanfiction is. So do you write fanfiction?" I blushed and nodded.

"That's actually why I bought this notebook and pen! I wrote...five so far. It's going to be six once I return home and write this adventure down!~ But I'm not sure if I'm placed here for a reason, or it was concidence. Either way, I'm happy that I met you guys! And I'm not sure if you care, but I only told one of my friends this, but I eventually fall in love with a person or people, even if they are ugly. Like for example, I can fall in love with you or Ed or someone else if I could. And...Gosh! I can't believe I'm actually telling you this! Umm...I did. I...I...IlikeEdwardElric. There! I said it! I like your brother! But I'm pretty sure the dimwit likes Winry. I mean, they get married in the future and have two kids. I won't interfer if that's the case. I got rejected once by a boy I liked and I rejected the most popular boy in school, so what difference does it makes?" I think Al blushed, but gosh! I told someone that is part of FMA that! Another thing off my bucket list!~

"Don't worry, I can keep it a secret. Say, can you tell me something about my future self?" I nodded, and out of pure excitement I squealed. Yep. I squealed. Don't ask.

"Yep! You're going to get your body back and marry someone, I promise! Besides, doesn't every story have somewhat a happy ending? Hehe!"

"Thank you for telling me that. Now I actually have something to work and look forward to in the future." We heard the water dripping stop, and looked at each other.

"I guess he's done. He might be in there for another three minutes changing. And if you were going to ask, nope! I'm not afraid of you! I feel as though I known you for a long time, so I'm not afraid! The only thing I'm afraid of? Hughes, Armstrong, and Mustang in a miniskirt!" We both laughed for the duration that it took for E to change. He got out, only in his blue undies and black tank top. I blushed still, even though I've seen him wear that in the manga and anime several times. Gosh, I'm probably making this crush look even MORE obvious now! He dried his hair, covering his face partially.

"What were you guys talking about?" I blushed and turned to Al, hoping that he would talk for me.

"We were talking about her world and interests, Brother. Nothing at all. Brother, you promised me you would wake up early tomorrow. At least wake up at 6:10 tomorrow, okay?" E groaned and sighed, throwing the towel on the floor.

"Fine. What about Small-Eyes over here?" I growled at the nickname, even though I had no problem of people making fun of my race. Maybe because HE was the one saying it?

"Don't call me that! I'm more of a night person than morning person, so punch me when I wake up, okay?" They looked at me like I'm crazy, which is true, but I'm really hard to motivate to wake up in the morning, especially at that time.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?! I CAN'T PUNCH A GIRL! NEITHER CAN AL!" OH MOTHERFUCKA YOU ARE GOING DOWN! WE FEMALES AREN'T WEAK! IF I CAN TAKE A BITCH SLAP THEN I CAN TAKE A FUCKING PUNCH! BUT! Not a punch from Saitama, no. I'll be dead if Baldy punched me.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! DON'T THINK THAT WOMEN CAN'T TAKE A PUNCH! HELL, EVEN WINRY IS MANLIER THAN YOU BECAUSE SHE IS THAT STRONG AND BADASS! WE ARE AS STRONG AS MEN! EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T PUNCH WELL, I CAN SURE AS HELL KICK YOUR LEG AND BREAK IT!" And at that time Winry came busting in with her infamous wrench, ready to whack us.

"Stop...Making...A...Racket...AT 11:04 IN THE NIGHT! SOME PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING!" E ran for the hills under his bed, while I stood there, grabbing a lamp to defend myself.

"Winry, please calm down. I was telling Ed here that you are more badass than him and is a GREAT role model for younger children, ya know? You are strong, and even in the darkest times you still move forward." Winry then switched to Girly Mode, having a pink backdrop with crudely drawn flowers. Wait where did that come from?!

"Oh! How nice of you!~ Edward, it's time to whack some sense into you!~" Now just think of a brutal whacking scene. By the time they were done, E looked like a pile of nothingness.

"Damn...You...Small...Eyes..." I walked over, and HOLY HELL DID SHE WHACK HIM PRETTY WELL! I quickly grabbed the first aid kit in the bathroom, and LOTS of towels. I wiped off the sweat and blood, bandaging his head the most.

"Sorry about that. But remember, punch me when I wake up, okay?" He looked up, with bandages all over, and a nosebleed. Not in a pervy way, from a battle between Winry! I smiled, and the next thing I know he was asking the taboo question.

"What happened to your knuckle?" I tensed up and frowned, having a bit of sadness inside of me. He most likely saw that, since he widened his eyes and stuttered.

"Y-Y-You don't h-h-have t-t-t-to answer i-if y-you don't w-wa-want to..."

"This story is for another time, okay? Al, where did Winry go?"

"She went back to her room to sleep while you were bandaging Brother." I mouthed"oh" and continued bandaging him. By the time I finished, it was already 11:26. I sighed and grabbed my notebook again. On the first page, I put the basics: name, address, and phone I did that I saw that Al was already lying on the couch, and the great alchemist fell asleep on the seat. I decided to move him to his bed, but GOD DAMN THE KID'S HEAVY! The automail was weighed him down, so I had to drag him across the floor, prop him up against the bed, and then used his legs to get him laying on the bed. I tucked him in, and turned off the lights, except for a tiny one on the bed stand. I got back into my position on the bed, lying down with the blanket covering, ready to writing my fanfic. Hmm...The title...OMG! I'M IN FMA! Nah...That's copyrighted...An Otaku's Dream? Yeah, no, bye bye...I know! Sweet dreams, Otaku! Otaku's referring to me, and the Sweet Dreams part refers to this as a dream. Okay. First chapter...I know OMG! I'M IN A CLOSET! And it goes something like this:

 _"Urgh, did I fall off the bed again?" No, couldn't be. My floor's carpet, not wood. I opened my eyes slightly. What...Why is it so dark? I opened my eyes again, but only saw shapes of cleaning supplies and coats because I'm as blind as a bat in the dark. Wait...I thought I saw a person...Did I sleep-walk? No...There are no records of me sleep-walking...But there are records of me falling off my bed...I'm so groggy...I need more sleep..._

 **~Author's Note~**

 **Hey guys! Yes, it's true, I AM bisexual. And Nick if you're reading this, I told everyone else except you because I just thought things would get awkward, if not, more awkward if I told you so yeah. The more you know!~ So PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS, and no, not you NICK! So this is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~**


	5. MY SCHEDULE!

p style="text-align: center;"strong~ANNOUNCEMENT!~/strong/p  
p style="text-align: left;"strongHey guys! I FINALLY sorted out a schedule for posting chapters, so PLEASE READ THIS! And also I know how to spell schedule! I know I know, I'm soooooo cool! (sarcasm) So yeah. This is for every month, so yeah. Some days I won't be able to post, but it'll DEFINITELY follow this schedule, no matter what! I will start following this schedule next week! And in May I might miss a week because of my sister's wedding, but who cares?!/strong/p  
p style="text-align: left;"strongWeek 1: The Girl with the Notebook/strong/p  
p style="text-align: left;"strongWeek 2: Grey-Eyed Beauty and the FullMetal Beast/strong/p  
p style="text-align: left;"strongWeek 3: Sweet Dreams, Otaku!/strong/p  
p style="text-align: left;"strongWeek 4: Tokyo Mew Mew: Chocolate Creme a la Mode/strong/p  
p style="text-align: left;"strongWeek 5 (extra week if available): Random Fanfic or Side Chapter (by side chapter I mean Truth or Dares so PLS send in some T and Ds PLS! THX! :) )/strong/p  
p style="text-align: left;" /p  
p style="text-align: left;"strongSo yeah. That's the schedule that will be followed starting next month, so yeah. PLEASE SEND IN TRUTH OR DARE QUESTIONS! Also, I NEED MORE REVIEWS! PLEASE! I'm DYING to know what YOU GUYS think! And yeah. This is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~/strong/p 


	6. OMG! A T&D CHAPTER!

**~Announcement~**

 **Hey guys! Today's VERY special, you know why? (Because you're finally nice?) SHADDUP! Today is VERY special BECAUSE OF...**

 **TRUTH OR DARE CHAPTER! That's right, SOMEONE ACTUALLY sent in MULTIPLE TRUTH OR DARE QUESTIONS! Thanks so much to DolphinMermaidSparkle, who I'm doing a collab with for her fanfic, with is linked here:**

s/11776299/1/Tokyo-Mew-Mew-Chocolate-Creme-a-la-Mode

 **So yeah. This is actually a "little" crossover between Sweet Dreams, Otaku! and The Girl with the Notebook, so...THINGS GONNA BE CHAOTIC! Here it goes! LET THEM IN!~**

Key:

 **Bold-Author Lady**

Regular-TGWTNB Cast

 _Italics-SDO Cast_

 **Author Lady: Hey yo!**

TGWTNB Cast: Welcome to the host- er, Truth or Dare chapter! (Hunny: Is there cake?)

 _SDO Cast: Why are we even here...*sweatdrops*_

 **Author Lady: So anyways, my good friend Dolphin-**

Tamaki: YOU HAVE A DOLPHIN?! CAN I PET IT?~

 _Ed: Her friend's NAME is Dolphin, you dumbass!_

Tamaki: Hmm...A tsundere type...YOU'LL BE THE PERFECT ADDITION TO THE HOST CLUB!~

 _Ed: HELL. NO._

Winry and Maddie: SHADDUP! LET THE POOR AUTHOR LADY TALK! *whacks on head*

Tamaki: *emo corner*

 _Ed: WHY YOU-*gets whacked again*_

 **Author Lady: Can you drag them to the Kiddie Room for recovery? Thanks. Ahem. ANYWAYS, my friend Dolphin sent these questions, NO ONE ELSE, so...Yeah. PLEASE MORE REVIEWS! So, The Girl with the Notebook Cast, wanna go first?**

Maddie: Hey reader, can you um, scroll down to see if my future self gets Chuck Norrised? Thanks. Also I hate bacon. *dodges stuff thrown*

 **Author Lady: Hey hey hey! No breaking the fourth wall! See?! Now the TV set's collapsed! Goddamit motherfucker...*presses Reverse Time button* Ahh, now it's better!**

Maddie: Can we get on with the questions? I don't want to be stuck with THAT lunatic FOREVER. *points at Meicee*

 _Meicee: SHUDDUP BITCH! LIKE YOU'RE ANY BETTER!_

 **Author Lady: Girls, either dress up in sexy Neko costumes and fight or take the Get Out Of Here Train and GET THE FUCK OUT! Ahem. Sorry about that. :) Anywho, who wants to start? *Meicee raises hand* Okay. Truth or Dare?**

 _Meicee: DARE! I WON'T TELL NOTHING OF MY SECRETS TO NO ONE! I'M PUMPED! WHOOOOO!_

 **Author Lady: Are you sure? This concerns your fear!~ Huehuehue...**

 _Meicee: DOESN'T MATTER! COME ON AND SAY IT!_

 **Author Lady: If you say so...*opens paper* I dare you to wear a pink, fluffy, girly dress for the rest of the chapter. *sees Meicee break down* Oh god...**

 _Meicee: I HATE DRESSES! THEY ARE SOOOO UNCOMFORTABLE AND GIRLY! FUCK THIS SHIT, I'M FLIPPING TABLES! *starts flipping tables*_

 _Ed: Can someone hold her down and knock her out? It would make SUCH a difference._

 _Jaquelin: MEICEE HUI-FANG! STOP FLIPPING TABLES AND SAYING THE F WORD!_

 _Meicee: Don't. Fucking. Care. *continues to flip tables*_

Tamaki: JOIN THE HOST CLUB!~

Hikaru and Kaoru: Aren't you supposed to be in the Kiddie Room?

Tamaki: But Mr. Ducky ran away from me to this room...*points at Chica*

CHICA: FIRST OFF, I'M A SHE! SECOND OF ALL, YOU ARE BATSHITCRAZY! THIRD, I'M A FUCKING FABULOUS CHICKEN! ADIOS, CUPCAKES!~ *walks away dramatically*

Tamaki: NOOOO! COME BACK, MR. DUCKY! *weeps in doom*

Hikaru and Kaoru: He made the same mistake to that poor, sassy chicken. Let's go back home and play TF2. *leaves the studio*

 **Author Lady: Welp, we just lost two contestants. Also, MEICEE! DO YOUR FUCKING DARE OR ELSE YOU HAVE TO BE RAPED BY FREDDY FAZBEAR! *Freddy creepily waves***

 _Meicee: Fine. But just ONCE, okay?! JEEHEZUS CHRISIST! *goes inside changing room* *comes out* THERE! Are you happy?! I ALSO PUT ON SOME MAID ACCESSORIES AND NEKO EARS FOR EXTRA NUGGETS! I'VE BEEN TOLD THERE WHERE MCNUGGETS AFTER! *pants loudly*_

 _Ed: *blushes*_

Hunny: Edo-Kun, based on your actions, you like Meicee, right? *stars at him cutely*

 _Ed: *blushes harder* NO NO NO! HELL TO THE FUCK NO! WHO WOULD LIKE THAT FLAT CHESTED PIPSQUEAK?!_

 _Meicee: *blushes furiously* What did you call me, motherfucker?~ (She's using her cutesy voice)_

 _Ed: N-Nothing..._

 _Meicee: Good, cause either way YOU HAVE TO DIE! HUEHUEHUEHUE! *chases Ed around*_

 _Ed: HELP ME WINRY!_

Hunny: So you like Winry, then?

 _Ed: NOOO! I DON'T LIKE THAT DUMB BLONDE! (Hunny: Aren't you blonde too?)_

 _Winry: SAVE THAT FOR YOUR FUNERAL! *chases Ed around with Meicee*_

 **Author Lady: Ed, lead them out the GTFO Door. We need to get moving on the questions. Hurry, someone go!**

 _Jaquelin: I'll go. I pick Truth._

 **Author Lady: Good. You got an easy one. If you could change ONE thing about yourself, what would it be?**

 _Jaquelin: Hmm...Maybe my appearance because people with glasses look ugly? *Kyoya stares at her with a bitch face*_

Kyoya: EXCUSE ME? I suppose that theory is QUITE INCORRECT, Miss. I have further proof as I present my 30-minute presentation on how glasses people ARE quite hot, or in this case attractive AND sexy. *pushes up glasses*

Maddie: Oh fuck, not another speech with Kyoya fanart...He already covered it in the limo on the way here...*facepalms*

 _Jaquelin: I do NOT need a speech about that, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. MEICEE! STOP CHASING EDWARD ELRIC! I KNOW YOU LI-_

 _Meicee: *covers Jaquelin's mouth* SHE SAID NOTHING! SHE SAID NOTHING! STOP STARING! GO FUCK YOURSELVES!_

Kyoya: As seen here in Exhibit F, my abs and masculinity are better than Jacob's from Twilight, and my glasses make me much more of a sexy beast than a werewolf, let alone a vampire. Now here in Exhibit g, you ca-*gets muffled*

 **Author Lady: THANKS FOR SUCH A DEEP AND LOVING SPEECH, KYOYA! Can someone muzzle this guy?**

 _Meicee: I would like to volunteer myself as a tribute. *whistles MockingJay song*_

 **Author Lady: Yeah guys, stop spewing out stuff that's copyrighting!We can get fucking sued! Oh yeah, muzzle Kyoya so he becomes a Muslim. Bad pun, right? Anyways, just muzzle him.**

 _Meicee: *salutes* On it. *proceeds to muzzle Kyoya*_

 **Author Lady: Anywho, we only have time for one more question, so...volunteers? No? No. Okay then. I pick out of the Magic Box Hat Thingy, then. *picks out of Magic Box Hat Thingy* And I got...Meicee again. And um...Maddie.**

 _Meicee: Truth. I don't want to wear another porn outfit._

Maddie: Dare.

 **Author Lady: Okay. Maddie, go surprise someone by yelling "TACOS!" in their ear.**

Maddie: Okay. *walks up to Ed* TACOS MOTHERFUCKA!

 _Ed: HOW DARE YOU! I'LL MOTHERFUCK YOUR TACO! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?!_

Maddie: I'm gonna be..HAHAHAHA! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH A TACO! HAHAHAHA!

 **Author Lady: Muzzle her too. Anyways, Meicee, you are the LUCKY CONTESTANT OF KISS, MARRY, OR KILL! THE RULES ARE SIMPLE: RESPOND ANY OF THE ANSWERS FOR THE CHOSEN PEOPLE BELOW! GOT IT? GOOD! FIRST UP: DIPPER PINES FROM GRAVITY FALLS. SECOND, THE NO-FACE FROM THE NO-FACE FANART FROM SPIRITED AWAY, AND FINALLY...YOUR BEST BUDDY AND BLONDE TWIN, EDWARD ELRIC! KISS, MARRY, OR KILL?**

 _Meicee: Why do I get the embarrassing questions?...I MEAN, uhh...*blushing hard* I KNOW! HAVE A FOURSOME WITH THEM! THAT WAY I- ER, WE GET ALL THE FUN AND NO ONE WOULD BE JEALOUS! RIGHT?! RIGHT?! I'm just gonna go watch some EinShine videos now...*blushes furiously and scooches away*_

 **Author Lady: And that's it! Let me know if you want more or not! Now the remaining people say bye to the readers and then GTFO OUT OF MY STUDIO!~ SAY BYE BYE!  
** Remaining TGWTNB Cast: Bye...(Kyoya:MMMMFMFMM!)

 _Remaining SDO Cast: BYE BYE BITCHES!~ Hope that we don't ever do this again...(Jaquelin: Bye. I'm leaving.)_

 **Author Lady: This is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~**


	7. OMG! NEW SCHEDULE!

**~Announcement~**

 **Sorry for the long absence! I PROMISE I'll make it up to you guys! Anyways, sorry for the weird schedule posting! It didn't freak out when I first saw it, but when I posted it it was all...weird coding stuff. So I'm sorry for that, and here's the NEW and LESS CONFUSING SCHEDULE!~ Again, I'll begin posting regularly next week, I swear!**

 **Week 1: The Girl with the Notebook**

 **Week 2: Grey-Eyed Beauty and the FullMetal Beast**

 **Week 3: Sweet Dreams, Otaku!**

 **Week 4: Tokyo Mew Mew: Chocolate Creme a la Mode**

 **Week 5 (or extras): Side Stories/Q &As/T or D**

 **That's it. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm abandoning or on haitus when I'm not. Seriously. I'm just caught up with school, social life, and my family. that's all. I hope this clears things up! This is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~**


	8. OMG! I SEE A SUNRISE!

**~Announcement~**

 **Hey guys! I'm SO sorry about not updating sooner! I'm going to be back on my regular schedule that I posted in June. I promise! It's just the laziness in me was like: Watch more Lost Pause! Read more LxLight fanfics! Burn your eyeballs with hot guys from Free! Iwatobi Swim Club! And I'm like: Must write! Must not be lazy! And I failed my battle against laziness once again. Sigh. Anyways, I reread my previous chapters in all my fanfics and I'm like: HOW DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY ENJOY MY CRAPPY WRITING?! No seriously. How DO you guys enjoy this cringefest of a motherfucker?! Never mind. Onto this thing, I guess...(BEWARE! LEMON SCENE IN HERE!)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own FMA in any way. If I did, everyone would've been a girl since that's the only thing I can draw.**

 **Warning: Profanity if you never caught that in the announcement. Also, my dirty mind likes to add in raunchy jokes every now and then. Please cringe if yo want. I TOTALLY put "yo" on purpose instead of "you." Also, spoilers and fucking up the timeline. If you hate that, then...WHY ARE YOU READING THIS ANYWAYS?!**

 **~_!_~**

 _(FIRST TIME WRITING A LEMON LIKE SCENE. SORRY.)~Dream~ (FROM ACTUAL DREAMS. DON'T JUDGE.)_

 _"H-Hikaru! Not there...Oh!" I was currently spectating and enjoying the beautiful view of a stage light shining brightly on two nude ginger twins fucking each other, with the one on top holding a butter knife caked in butter, licking furiously at the other's chest. Why am I enjoying incest even though it's illegal? Oh yeah, because I'm me. -_- For some strange reason I wanted to join in, like when guys have boners and shit. Yeah. Feels exactly like that but no bludge to inform you that you're horny, just a weird feeling inside._

 _"O-Oh! Ahhh! Mmm..." Licking the tip of the nipple, almost sucking it fully. Next gently applying the butter on the neck, then inching in to suck, creating a hickey from the top to the bottom of the neck. French kissing as a little break from all the buttery goodness, their tongues intertwine like two snakes coiled together._

 _"..." I tried to say something, but a lump in my throat held me back. I tried to move, but a force field around the twins wouldn't let me. FUCK YOU DREAMS! Wait. Something new is happening..._

 _"Wake up, Kaoru! Wake up! Help me wake up this motherfucking Xingnese girl..." What?! Haha! Kaoru isn't a girl, nor Xingnese! Plus, Hikaru wouldn't cuss at Kaoru, in fanfiction or not. That means...UGH! NO! I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP! I WANT TO WATCH THIS ON A 24-HOUR TIME LAPSE! I-_

 _~End of Cringeworthy Lemon Dream Session~ (I cringed while writing this.)_

"WAKE UP MEICEEEEE! IT'S FUCKING 6:27! WINRY AND JAQUELIN ARE DOWNSTAIRS ALREADY! YOU FUCKING LAZYASS!" I opened my eyes slightly, then closed them because I wanted to go back to my dream. E was shaking me furiously, and he did what I told him to do if I won't wake up: One Punch my ass. He did so, and the pain on my cheek from the punch worsened, making me snap, opening me eyes. I had tears forming in my eyes, but I didn't care. I got up, rubbed my cheek, and flipped him off. I mean, how is he up early?! IT'S FREAKING EDWARD ELRIC! HE NEVER GETS UP EARLY! Wait. What if this is an universe based on someone's fanfic? Oh right, mine. -_- When I was inside the bathroom, I took a quick rinse and got out the random toothbrush I bought, brushing my teeth. I then changed into a grey shirt and black pants, then putting a black sweatshirt I got from the random store god I forgot the name. Best sentence ever. 10/10. I should win a Grammy for this. Anyways, I came out of the bathroom, to a VERY pissed hot-I mean, not hot really short guy and his brother. Yeah, that's it. Hehe...

"YOU! It's 6:37! 6:37! WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE! LUCKILY FOR YOU THE STATION'S A FEW BLOCKS AWAY!" E was fuming with anger, and Al was trying to calm him down. Oh god, I am living an otaku's dream and nightmare at the same time...

"Brother, try to calm down! It's not her fault that she's a heavy sleeper! Sorry Meicee about Brother's behavior! Here, I'll carry your luggage." Al picked up my bags and opened his chest, throwing them inside. Wait a minute. Aren't they supposed to keep this a secret?!

"AL! THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! NOW SHE KNOWS OUR SECRET!" Al sweatdropped and bowed formally to E, who was keeping us behind.

"Brother, do you remember what she said yesterday? She knows everything and anything about us, so why should we hide the truth if she already knows?" Oh, that's makes fucking sense. E looked up at the ticking clock, telling us to get our asses to the train station. E then freaked out and dragged us downstairs, where a bored Jaquelin and a VERY pissed off Winry stood.

"Thankssomuchfortheroom! Here'sthekeyandtipIdon'thavetimetotalkbye!" I returned the room key and gave the hotel manager 10 cenz (Wich I still do not know how much that is) and busted out the door, along with Jaquelin and Co. It wasn't long before we caught up with the train, arriving a few minutes late. Luckily people were still getting onto the train as we were running, so I didn't have time to appreciate the beauty of an old-fashioned train instead of the cramped-ass subways and nice-ass bullet trains. We plopped down in the front seat of the fourth car while Al and Winry helped put the luggage on top. And no, Al didn't open his chest on the train to put my stuff away. That would be disasterous, I tell you. With the SASS in disaster.

"Ed! Why didn't you guys come down earlier?! We were waiting a whole ten minutes! A WHOLE TEN MINUTES!" Winry was about to kill E on the train, and the other passengers tried to ignore Winry yelling but kept staring. E's facial expression changed from pissed to terrified in one second. Hmmm, reminds me of Natsu's and Erza's relationship...

"I-It's not my fault! Squinty-Eyes over t-th-there ov-overslept!" He was flailing his arms everywhere to represent what happened this morning as Winry was listening carefully.

"Y-You understand now, right?! OUCH!" Winry bonked E with a mini wrench to prevent any public attention, but that kinda failed. Some people looked over, and I think one more would make them complain to the conductor. Sigh.

"Winry, don't hurt Ed because 1. he's cute, 2. it's not his fault, and 3. he's cute! So don't hit him!" I blurted that out, then when I realized what I've said, I blushed and covered my mouth, curling up into a ball on the seat. Winry then turned her attention to me, and laughed the same way I would laugh when I think of something perverted. Oh shit.

"Meicee, we need to talk...~ I talked with Jaquelin yesterday about you and I would like to know first hand...~" E turned around too, having a cu-I mean, creepy look on his face. Gosh, I had crushes before, but I never acted THIS severely around them! Damn teenage hormones...

"Meicee, did you just call me...cute? Did you? Huh? Huh?" Jaquelin turned away, probably because she doesn't want to be dragged into this and this is her only entertainment she can get for the next five hours. Al seemed interested too, so he stood in the background as a spectator. E teased me with that sentence, and the blondes kept inching closer and closer, wanting a juicy answer out of me.

"N-n-no! Why would I?! I mean, you're cute and all, but-I mean! You're not cute to me! To others, maybe, but to me you're hot and sexy-I mean! You're not hot and sexy! Everything I said before this sentence was a fake! A fib! A lie! Just-GAH! Leave me fucking alone!" I blushed redder than Grell's hair and noticed people staring as I burrowed my head into my arms, hood on of course. A few minutes later I walked outside where it connects to the next car. I leaned against the railing as I take in the scenery before me as the wind blows. God, why did I blurt that out! I'm such a fucking idiot! Any fangirl or OC in a fanfic wouldn't do that! Only me! I can only hope for the best in this situation...

"Hey Meicee! You still didn't answer my questions!~" Winry sang, and I sort of jumped from shock that she came out. I scowled and turned away from her, looking at the blurry grass dancing in the wind with the trees. She came closer and leaned on the railing with me, giggling as she did.

"What? What's funny?"

"Nothing. Last night Jaquelin told me about you, your loud personality and your fangirlingness. I didn't ask much about her, which I should've, but didn't. Something about just caught my eye, like you weren't supposed to be here." I stared at her blankly, then realizing that I was staring at a ho-I mean, a cute girl. I blushed a bit and looked out, seeing the sunrise change the blue ombre of the sky to a pinkish-orange. I gasped in awe and shook Winry, who was also staring at the sun at awe.

"We should get the others! I'll be right back!" I could hear Winry mumble to herself about something as I turned back and ran to the front of the car, shaking E and Jaquelin.

"Follow me! There's a sunrise! A sunrise! Come outside!"

"We can see it here, you know?" I scowled at his sour comment, but quickly changed moods and tugged on his arm.

"Please? It's more special if you spectate outside than inside!" I whined like a little bitch until he finally sighed and gave in. I grasped his arm and ran outside, looking at the changing colors in the sky. It filled me with awe even though I've seen one before, but this...this feeling...this feeling was so much different than a sunrise in a city. I smiled and leaned over the railing, getting a better view. I looked at Winry and the others, who were smiling and enjoying the views also. I mean, it's hard to tell if Al's smiling or not, but even a monotone piece of armor can't stop the guy from smiling from the inside. E was slightly smiling even though he probably saw the sunrise a bunch of times, but this was different. I turned over to Jaquelin, who was standing behind me, taking in the view also. And my smile grew bigger and brighter, since this was the first I've seen Jaquelin smile since we've been here. Yep, this is a memorable moment I'd like to share with Nick and the others. Memorable indeed.

 **~Author's Note~**

 **Hey guys! This is more of a filler chapter, so next chapter you guys will meet Nick and Paninya and Co, that's for sure! Also, to answer this question of why Ed's up early is b/c Al woke him up first. Yeah. That simple. Also, the bruise from Ed's punch on Meicee's cheek is still there, but she doesn't give a fuck b/c she's me. And why is she blushing and all that shit? Because well, Ed's like her BIGGEST crush ever (and still is, but sadly Yato took over for the moment). So that means...Yep. The pipsqueak is my crush too, since Meicee and I have the same fucked up mind. :P And, I choose the name Meicee and Jaquelin b/c I wanted a unique name that starts with the first letter of our names, but sadly I couldn't think of one for Nick, so I went with the simple Nick. Sorry if you wanted a cool name. Anyways, this is BlackMidnightWhite, signin-**

 **Hikaru: WAIT! YOU DIDN'T PAY US FOR DOING THAT SCENE! IT WAS FUCKING-**

 **Kaoru: TERRIBLE! IT TICKLED AND HIKARU'S DICK KEPT SHOVING UP MY ASS! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT HE WOULD GET A BONER THAT SOON!**

 **Hikaru: NOT MY FAULT! Anyways, where's our 300000000? And yes, for each person. Plus 3000 for that cheap ass butter you made us use! Ugh, tastes like lard!**

 **Me: Um...Uh...FUCK THIS SHIT BYE BYE! *runs away***

 **Hikaru and Kaoru: You are NOT getting away! *runs after her***

 **Me: This is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out! BYE!~**

 **(Please do keep in mind two naked ginger twins are chasing one poor otaku. Donate now to prevent Otaku Rape, at only 3000 yen per day. Donate now and you'll get cheap ass butter and possibly a butter knife Sebastian used to kill thugs. This message has been approved by the President of Otakus, AKA the girl getting chased. All Rights Reserved.)**


	9. OMG! I HAVE A TOUCHING REUNION!

**~Announcement~**

 **SORRY! I was caught up with watching hot guys swim (Free!), reading this Youkai Shoujo ecchi that made me fap, watching Butlers Against Humanity, and yep. I'm so sorry. Laziness wins every time. And I'm also sorry about that incest lemon scene last chapter. It was my first time writing a lemon scene, and looking back on it, it was pretty decent. I guess. So...onto-**

 **Hikaru: WE FINALLY FOUND YOU!**

 **Kaoru: HAVE A TASTE OF THIS BUTTER!**

 **Me: Is that...OH SHIT.**

 **Hikaru and Kaoru: THAT'S RIGHT! BUTTER MADE OF OUR CUM! TASTE THE SHIT!**

 **Me: PLEASE TAKE OVER, FANFIC SELF!**

 **Meicee: No prob. Be sure to dress like Pico before doing that. Yes, we watched 2 episodes of Boku no Pico for research. ACTUAL RESEARCH. Episode 1 was okay, 2...I can't stand, no, WE can't stand a sex addict shota teaching a kindergartener how to play with dicks! But we now know how to say dicks in Japanese. TAKE NOTES. OCHINCHIN. SAY IT WITH ME. O, CHIN, CHIN. GOOD. Now form a sentence. Say Watashi no namae wa ochinchin desu. Wa-**

 **Me: JUST DO THE DISCLAIMER AND WARNING! YOU CAN TEACH HENTAI 101 LATER!**

 **Meicee: Fine. Onto Disclaimer and Warning.**

 **Disclaimer: We sadly do not own FMA. We do, however, own our fangirling over the upcoming live-action for FMA in 2017 that features a hot 23-year old that played Nagisa in the live-action Assassination Classroom.**

 **Warning: Perverts, fangirls, profanity, boobs, perverts, etc. Please donate to the Otaku Rape Foundation today as suggested by the founder, AKA the author. (There's no real life Otaku Rape Foundation, but please donate anyways.)**

 **~_!_~**

Ahhh, feels good to finally rest after hours upon hours of fucking sitting my ass off. We just off the train and now we're in a cafe of some sort. In case you're wondering, the train ride was a bit like this:

20%: sleeping, staring, playing, singing quietly, restroom

79.9%: teasing, blushing, fangirling, being annoying, bothering people, eating

1%: being quiet

Yeah. Winry and E were still teasing me about my...'outburst' earlier. Al was unfortunately on their side. Jaquelin was on neither side, enjoying or rather being bothered by it. Thankfully she agreed to play card games with me, and doing charades. It feels nice even though there's no fucking air conditioning or any refreshing thing to look at. Actually, scratch out the last part. There IS something refreshing to look at, and that is NO! NOT THE BLONDES IN FRONT OF ME EVEN THOUGH A CERTAIN MECHANIC'S TANK TOP IS A LITTLE BIT SEE THROUGH! Fine, 100 refreshing points to the blondes in front of me, and OVER 9,000 REFRESHING POINTS FOR THE ICED TEA IN FRONT OF ME! Yes, I made an Ouran and Dragon Ball reference at the same time. DEAL WITH IT. I wish I have cool gangster shades...

"So what's the plan now, Squinty-Eyes?" I gulped down a lot of the tea and some ice cubes. I looked at them and smirked.

"Easy. Find my friend. While looking for my minio-I mean, my friend, Winry can go window-shopping with Al. Ed, you do whatever the hell you want. Jaquelin, you're staying with me for...reasons. Ouch!" I said that while chewing the ice cubes, and accidently bit my tongue.

"Reasons?"

"Yeah, I mean, isn't she curious to see if he's dead or alive? And I'm pretty sure he doesn't have enough money to buy a train ticket yet, so staying here for a day or two should be enough time to search the whole place clean, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. Also, can you call me 'cute' again, Squinty-Eyes?" I blushed a bit and growled, giving him a bitch face.

"No. Way. In. Hell. Senpai." I took a sip of my tea, and yes, another Ouran reference! I'm on a roll!~

"Senpai?" Oh yeah, I almost forgot that this universe isn't Japanese or anything.

"A honorific in a language called Japanese that is used to call someone older than you. I mean, you're basically almost a hundred years older than me in actuality, since I was born in the year of 2003, when Snow Patrol was popular and the shit. Btw, Snow Patrol is a band, and a band is a group of people that produce songs and music."

"I know what a band is! Also I'm not a grandpa!" I giggled at E's burst for some reason. Finally it was Winry's time to talk. Her eyes shined since window-shopping in Rush Valley was mentioned.

"Oh Ed?~ Can I possibly have some money?~ I might be able to do the upgrade you requested!~"

"No." Winry pouted, and got closer to E. He looked in the other direction, rolling his eyes. After several minutes, he finally gave in to his pleading mechanic.

"Sigh. Fine. but only 2,000 cenz. Nothing more."

"That much?! I can barely buy a piece of iron and a bag of screws with that!~"

"Still complaining?! Fine, here's 6,000 cenz! Don't ask me for more!" Winry gasped of happiness and gave the alchemist an Armstrong hug. He was obviously blushing and to be honest, I was a little jealous, but if I DO have the power to travel into anime, then I would have 30+ crushes waiting for me, so it's fine!~

"Thank you! I always knew you were generous! Al, come with me! We'll be back here in a few hours!~" Oh. I guess the cafe is our meeting spot? Okay then. And I'm pretty sure 'a few hours' means 'until I get hungry' in Winry's case. I know since my brother is like: 'I'll be ready soon,' when he is done an hour later! And he scolds me for getting ready last minute?! I only take 10-15 minutes unlike him, who takes FIVE TIMES LONGER! Ahem. Anyways, before I knew it, I could faintly see Winry and Al slowly blending into the crowd. Few minutes later, we all stood up and left, with E leaving a few coins on the table. Strolling through the main street of Rush Valley, I take in the scenery. The city reminded me of the streets of Verona, especially the buildings. Painted in pastel colors such as yellow and pink, they do resemble Italian buildings. The balconies and foliage added to the Italian feel, along with the crowd, not jammed packed like a convention, but with some space for everyone. I see many stores advertising outside, with one sign saying: 'Buy our handmade wrench, get 30% discount on anything in the store!' Another is having a clearance sale on copper and steel scraps, and the store next to it is in the middle of auctioning various auto supplies. All of this seems exciting, but the most hustle and bustle was in the middle of the street, with a huge crowd of buff people cheering and yelling. I suppose this is where the arm wrestling contest is held.

"Look! An arm wrestling contest! Ed, you're strong right? Compete in it! I'll call you cute for the rest of the time!~" I was trying my best to convince E to be in the contest, because PLOT NEEDS IT! He needs to meet Paninya and the others for plot and stuff!

"No. But feel free to call me cute." Oh my FUCKING YATO GODS! Please I need a miracle! Also, Jaquelin is here. It's just that I'm too lazy to write her sentences. Fourth wall is broke. Luckily we have a Fifth Wall! Either way, I decided to squeeze through the crowd. I could faintly hear E calling after me. Hah! That should lure him out! Once I got to the center, I was amazed at how much money was put betting on those dumb people. I bet you thought I was going to put automail or something about muscles, but you're wrong! WRONG I TELL YA WRONG! Anyways, I look back, seeing E and Jaquelin catching up to me.

"Why did you run into the crowd?! You're crazy!" Because of the loud cheers and shouting, I could see E talking to me. Sadly I could not hear because the fucking crowd was as loud as a Justin Beiber concert: screaming and annoying cheers.

"WHAT? I COULDN'T HEAR YOU!" I saw E mouth a few things, looking annoyed. He came closer and cupped his hands near my ear. I started shivering and blushing, since people that are that close I start to feel ticklish. Weird, I know.

"YOU ARE A CRAZY BITCH!"

"FUCK YOU CUTE ASS PIPSQUEAK!" I yelled at E, who then smirked, since he probably only heard 'cute.' He inched closer, making me back up, almost bumping into a guy.

"You did call me cute! Tell me, am I cute? Hmmm?"

"NO! DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I SAID?! I CALLED YOUR SWEET ASS PIPSQUEAK! PIPSQUEAK!" I blushed and tried to focus on the arm wrestling contest, but Ed knocked me down. Wait, I called him Ed! Yes! I no blush! He was then on top of me, yelling his little butt off. I was struggling to keep his hands away from punching me. Not long after, I realized we were in a sexual position. Blushing, I found an opening and gave him one of my signature kicks. And because plot calls for it, the round for the contest was over.

"ANOTHER LOST! ANYMORE CONTESTANTS?! I BET YOU HE CAN EVEN BEAT THESE TWO KIDS HERE!" I growled at the mention of that asshole calling us kids! You motherfuckers are going down!

"WHAT DID YOU CALL US?! WE'RE TALL AS FUCK ASSHOLE! ED, GO COMPETE AND BEAT THAT GUY'S TINY ASS!" Without hesitation, Ed gladly cracked his knuckles, going over to the table. The whole crowd laughed a storm as I cheered him on.

"Are you SURE you want to compete, kid?" Not responding, Ed threw off his red coat, along with his black long sleave, showing off- EEEEEE! HIS BICEPS! EYE CANDY FOR THE PEOPLE! Ahem. God, my inner Matsuoka Gou is emerging. He then started arm wrestling the cocky guy, beating him minutes after, breaking the guy's automail. I didn't see Ed perform alchemy beforehand, but I still knew he was cheating.

"Yeah! You tell 'em, Ed! YOU FUCKING TOLD THEM!"

"WHAT?! HE LOST?! There goes my money..."

"WHOA! THAT KID WON! Sorry pal about your arm! Wanna come to my place to get it fixed?" That statement triggered all the shop owners in the crowd, now standing behind the guy. The rest were crowding over Ed, who was yelling at them for violating his personal bubble. Some people then started to crowd over me, and I immediately froze.

"Hey, you're the kid's girlfriend, right? He has some exotic taste!"

"Did you make his automail?! It's fantastic work!"

"You're his girlfriend AND mechanic?! Man, the pipsqueak's got it all!" After the last comment, I bursted, since they kept talking nonsense. I usually wouldn't burst, but hey, this is a crack fic featuring me and mah homies!

"SHADDUP! I'M NOT HIS MECHANIC! ALSO ARE YOU TRYING TO BE RACIST BY CALLIN' ME 'EXOTIC?!' I FIND THAT WORD OFFENSIVE! WHO WOULD WANT TO BE THAT GUY'S GIRLFRIEND?! I DON'T LIKE HIM OR ANYTHING IDIOTS! NOW BACK OFF!" I kicked the guys in front of me, sending them death glares. I immediately regretted kicking the poor guys, but I couldn't apologize, only because...well...it's embarrassing to apologize for me for some reason! Ugh, I should really calm my inner Aisaka Taiga...As soon as I walked over to where Ed was, he was stripped head to toe. Luckily his baby blue boxers were still on or else...FAPPY TIME FOR MEICEE! Still, he IS ripped for a twelve year old, but it's anime. Even the weakest of the weak and the most average of the average will still have visible abs. Take notes, 'cause this will be on the test!

"Hey, Squinty-Eyes, have you seen my watch?"

"Huh? No. Maybe some guy stole it for...reasons." Yes! This is where Paninya comes in! Next thing I knew was that I saw a certain pickpocket running across rooftops, smiling and dangling the watch.

"Come and get it if you can!~" Ed, who now has all his clothes on magically, started running after her.

"Girl! Go find the others! I'll meet you up ahead! Damn motherfucker!" I turned around, seeing Jaquelin. Oh yeah, almost forgot about our glasses character. -_- I'm horrible.

"Jaquelin, come on! Let's go find Winry and Al! Also, say something!"

"You liked the position you and Ed were in earlier, right?"

"N-NO! SHADDUP! J-Just...COME ON!" I sputtered as I ran, with Jaquelin smirking as she caught up behind me, then slowly passed me.

~TIMESKIP TO AN HOUR LATER?~

We founded Winry and Al just in time, and hurried to Ed and Paninya. She almost got away because of our timing, but I tripped her, which probably gave me a bruise on my calf considering she was running at the Speed of Weeb. What up Anime Man and Superwoman reference! Ahem. Right. So now Winry is gushing over her automail legs and OH SHIT. I completely forgot! They never met Tucker, did they?! OH SHIT SHIT SHIT! We fucked up the timeline, for sure. Oh god. Nina...Oh well. She'll live in the stuffed polar bear Jaquelin gave me. RIP.

"OH MY GOD! JUST LOOK AT THE SUSPENSION SYSTEM! IT'S SOOO ADVANCED!~ THE BALANCE IS AWESOME! Ahem. So in order to make room for the weapon the outer frame has been slimmed down, yet it still maintains high mobility and is durable enough to withstand extreme shock and it looks like it's made of steel but it's REALLY light, so there MUST BE a secret to how the metal was tempered, wouldn't you say? Interesting! You just HAVE to tell me who made your automail!~"

"What is Winry even talking about?"

"I don't know, Jackie. Beats me."

"Don't call me Jackie!"

"Okay, Jackie!~" Now they're having the normal talk that they have in the manga, and...yep. Now Ed has to rebuild every building he destroyed. Yay. TIMESKIP!~

~TIMESKIP TO 30 MINUTES LATER?~

"I'm still turning her in to military police, you know?! Hey! Are you guys even listening?!"

"I am!~"

"BESIDES SQUINTY-EYES AND GLASSES!" Jaquelin looked offended at Ed calling her Glasses, but she IS our glasses character. I mean, every anime needs at least one glasses character! Speaking of glasses...OH FUCK. Hughes...RIP Hughes...Oh well. There's Markiplier. If there's Markiplier, there is hope. Use that as a quote!

"Ed, we're leaving our luggage at the hotel! We already checked in! We're going to meet to mechanic of this FABULOUS automail!~" Winry twirled and happily skipped with Paninya. We started walking behind them, and to be honest, Paninya and Winry are cute together. I just triggered some people. Great. But seriously, they ARE cute together. I should take some notes. Let's start with human transmutation ingredients. I remember all the components but not the amount. Oh well, it doesn't matter because it's wrong anyways! No really, go watch the Film Theory video on it. And yes, I clicked on it because Ed was in the thumbnail, along with other videos which lead to anime crack and FMA panels. I guess another timeskip. Sigh. But wait!~ I see Jaquelin and Al hitting it off!~ Huehuehue...My next OTP besides Sebastian and cats is going to happen, that's for sure! Everything I shipped happened!~ Or at least was unrequited love. :P Let's eavesdrop!~ 3

~Eavesdropping on OTP #1~

"Edward always acts like that, huh?"

"Mhm! Brother may act stubborn and prideful sometimes, but he has a good heart!"

"HEY! I'M NOT STUBBORN AND PRIDEFUL! I'M AWESOME AND MANLY! SQUINTY-EYES TELL THEM! HELLO?! ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION?!"

"What-OH YEAH! ED'S...Actually, you kinda ARE stubborn and prideful SOMETIMES, but you ARE awesome and manly!"

"Meicee, are you SURE that you're not just calling him awesome and manly because-MHMMMMH!" I covered Jaquelin's mouth, flustered and embarrassed.

"Hehe! Nothing to see here!~ Jaquelin, I swear to motherfucking god..." I let go of her, and yep. She's annoyed. I think.

"Fine. I won't say anything, unless you won't say anything."

"They don't even know what or who we're talking about!"

"Fine!"

~Eavesdropping on OTP #1: FAIL~

Okay...It was a fail. TIMESKIP!~

~TIMESKIP TO ONE HOUR LATER~

"You can see it now! There it is!" Paninya pointed to a building of clay (?), blending with its mesa surroundings. There was some loud clings and clangs, probably from all the automail being made. Paninya ran in first, with us following her. I quickly put my notebook away, with my bad drawings of...SHADDUP! I'M NOT A CREEP! (0/0)

"SO do they want to order some automail?...WHOA HE'S HUGE! AND HE'S SMALL!" Ridel, he's so cute with his wife!~ In the background Al is holding down Ed from falcon kicking Ridel, who's now introducing himself and his wife Satera to Winry and Jaquelin. And yes, I'm fangirling in the background. And now we meet Dominic!~ His personality is like one of those cold, hot guys in anime who actually has a heart warmer than the Equator. I want a reverse harem soooo badly...God, I suck. Wait. I sense a presence of another person. It feels strange.

"Hey, is there another person here?"

"Well, yes! He's just a temporary guest from Resembool! He's getting supplies from the grocery store, so he should be back anytime now!" That sounds...fishy. Like REAL fishy. Fishier than Arlong and the whole merman gang. I'm pretty sure it's Nick, but when I wish for stuff like that, I'm either really disappointed or pissed off, but it HAS to be Nick! He doesn't have money to buy a train ticket, he was in Rush Valley in my dream, it all adds up, plus-GAH! I don't want to think logical here! I decided to ignore Paninya's answer and head out to Satera to congratulate on her baby.

"A baby?! Congratulations, Mrs. Lecourt!"

"Wow, that's so amazing!"

"You're right, Al! It IS amazing! Bow down to the superior gender!" They stared at me like this emoji: -_-. while Ridel and Satera laughed.

"That reminds me when we were young, right Ridel?"

"Yep! Oh! He's here! Nick come greet our guests!" (Btw it was weird writing this line for some reason -_-) I knew it. It's Nick. Hehe! Time to surprise my mini-I mean, to surprise him!~ I ran up to him and hugged him, ignoring his personal bubble.

"HELLO SNICKERS! NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" I jumped back, smiling like an idiot. He dropped all the bags, surprised and happy.

"Me-Meicee?! You're here too?! Jaquelin?! And-Oh, I see, Mr. Hottie over there...GAH!" I kicked his shin, blushing cause I KNEW who he was talking about.

"DO. NOT. EVER. SAY. THAT. AGAIN. ORELSEI'LLFORCEYOUTODOHUMANTRANSMUTATIONANDEATYOUROWNINTESTINES!"

"Don't call me Snickers! So, gonna introduce me?" I nodded and skipped over to Ed and Al, taking both of their hands. Winry soon came over with the rest of Paninya's gang.

"This is Nick, Nick Palenski! Also known as the guy that is terribly afraid of me! And don't worry about introductions! He already knows about you, Ed, Al, WINRY!~" Hehe, it'll be fun playing matchmaker now!~ Jaquelin and Al, Winry and Nick, and...NOPE! Me and Ed; it's NEVER going to happen. I mean, yeah, when certain songs play, I think of our wedding, him in a suit and a fedora singing, him nude; I'm just a creep! A CREEP! And you might pity me for being pessimistic, but I've ACTUALLY been on body pillow sites LOOKING at various designs for HOURS ON END. BODY PILLOW SITES. A hero like him will never like a creep like me.

"Hello! I've been staying here for several days now! I was originally going to be a State Alchemist, but after seeing and studying automail in real life, I decided to switch gears, so out of Jaquelin and Meicee, you could kinda consider me the Winry of the group!"

"You took the words out of my mouth! So how did you get here? And the journey? I-Jaquelin will tell you her perspective on our journey so far!" We all went inside to the living room, except Winry and Paninya's gang, including Paninya. I sat on the arms of the sofa, sitting very inappropriately, or how boys would sit. Kind of.

"Well, do you want the short or long version?"

"The shor-sh-sho-Never mind. I can't even say the 's' word, so the long one!" I regretted my decision. Now I'll have to proofread Nick's rough draft!

 **~Author's Note~**

 **THERE! Took me FOREVER! Nick, are you now happy that you were introduced?~ Good. Sorry about taking forever! I'll try to upload at least once or more a month if I can! So next chapter COMPLETELY belongs to Nick, who wrote it himself! It needs some editing, though, but whatever. :P Oh yeah, wanna know something weird? So I was reading a YA novel call Fangirl, written by the author of Eleanor & Park, AKA Rainbow something I don't know. So there's this character named Nick, and he acts like Nick and even LOOKS like Nick except for the blue eyes. Weird, right?! Also he was the main character's writing partner for Fiction-Writing classes AND fanfiction. So weird. Anyways, this is-Oh wait. I almost forgot.**

 **Hikaru and Kaoru: MHMHJNMHMM!**

 **Me: Okay, good. They're still tied up. Shipping them off costs...WAY TOO MUCH! Okay. Plan B. UNLEASH THE FANGIRLS, RENGE!"**

 **Renge: OKAY! *pulls lever***

 **Fangirls: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! SQUEEEEEEEEEE!**

 **Me: So that's done. Oh yeah. You get butter and a knife, and YOU get butter and a knife, EVERYONE GETS BUTTER AND KNIVES!~ *throws out butter and knives***

 **Meicee: Sorry to break the fourth wall, but this is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~ *rebuilds wall***


	10. OMG! IT'S NICK'S POV!

**~Announcement~**

 **Hey guys! This chapter is COMPLETELY Nick's, not mine! Even if I did LOTS AND LOTS of HEAVY editing, he still wrote the rough draft, which is the original, so it still counts! Also some parts are excerpts from the FMA Wiki, so DON'T SUE ME! PLEASE! Sorry Nick if you think you're too OOC! SORRY! Enjoy this chapter from Nick's POV and lay back while listening to Oliver and Big Al sing Barbie Girl by AQUA! Don't do that, though. It'll sound like a pedo and a shota fucking each other. Actually, if you've watched Boku no Pico episode 1, then you might be okay with it. :P**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own this chapter or FMA or else everything would've been kinda like this: ED ED ED ACTION ED ED ED FANSERVICE ED ED ED SEX SEX SEX YAOI YAOI ED ED ED WE SAVE THE WORLD AND WE FUCK EACH OTHER THE END OF STORY (Pretty bad, right?)**

 **Warning: Look up to see everything you're expecting. If you've made it this far, Morgan freeman would be narrating, saying: This is the moment the reader knew. He fucked up.**

 **~_!_~**

NICK'S POV

Geez.. Why do I have this goddamn headache!? It feels like 100 freaking NUKES have blown up in my mind. I'm laughing when I think about it, but it hurts to laugh and think. I'm wearing 2 sets of sunglasses with my eyes closed. Yeah. It hurts.

"Flippin' headache." I say that, but it sounds like I just said "Freaking had cake." My mom, clearly peeved since that is the sixty-eighth time I have said that, says this:

"Is it that bad? Well, take Advil and go to bed. Works for me, Nico. I have a migraine from all your complaining."

Sheesh. Support, right?

"Call me Nick, please."

"Sorry, I hate that name." Bad day? Nah. Anyway, I do what she says (obeyed under protest, more like.) Well, it actually works pretty great. Well, as good as medicine works in 6 minutes.. Welp! Goin' to bed! Night! Wait...I'm writing this after I took the pills...Logic! Yay!

~TIMESKIP TO ABOUT 9 HOURS LATER~

"Uhhhhh..grahjahjhhvhbhghf.." Aww, my headache is worse! And I seem to have woken up on a porch..WAIT. A PORCH!? Oh. My. Frickin. God. A porch. I got kidnapped! Wait, no. I would've been woken up. My friend Meicee says she dreams fanfics… And this porch looks like Granny Pinako's. Yup! I'm clearly in a parallel world. Specifically FMA. Shit! Granny is coming!

"Ah! Are you a new customer? You must've came very early and waited long! Here, come on in!" Granny was gesturing me to come in, but I awkwardly hesitated. For a few seconds I stood there as Granny grew impatient. Way to go, Nick. WAY TO GO.

"What are you waiting for? There's no one inside!"

"Um..Uh...Gah...I'm not a customer..." Why am I blanking out right now?! Ugh, I blame you, HEADACHE!

"You're not? Oh, are you delivering the lightweight silver scraps I ordered from Rush Valley? I'll go get the money right now!" She turned away and began to walk into the house, but I stopped her by yelling "don't go!" Granny turned around, puffing out a cloud of smoke from her pipe. I coughed a bit and rubbed my eyes.

"What is it?"

"I-I'm no-not delivering anything, nor a-am I a customer, you o-old pipsqueak!" I didn't know why I shouted that out, but now she was pissed. And also why did I stutter?!

"WELL YOU'VE SHOULD'VE SAID THAT SOONER! NOW I'M TOO MAD TO HELP YOU!" She spat up a storm, and quickly walked back inside, slamming the door. Well shit. I just ruined my one chance at getting painkillers. I sighed and wandered off on the path, not knowing where to go next. What do I do now?!

~COUPLE HOURS LATER~

Oh. I found the end of the path. AND my stomach's growling. Frickin hell. I decided to go back, maybe visit the burned down home of the Elrics. Now that I mentioned it...If Meicee was here...And Edward's here...It's going to be fun...IF Meicee's here. Sigh. I walked some more and I saw something running towards me. I stopped walking and a few long seconds later, seeing that the figure was DEN?! Den stopped at my feet, barking and trying to pounce on me.

"Haha! Down, boy, down!" I wiped the slobber off my face, and Den tugged my sleeve like he wanted me to follow him. I resisted a few times until I gave up, following Den back from the way I walked here from. About 30 minutes later Den started running, and I started to run too, trying to catch up to him. When we got to the house Den dashed into the house, barking some more. I was hesitant to go in at first, since Granny was already pissed at me calling her an old pipsqueak, but I decided to invite myself in anyways. Once I got on the porch once again, the barking got louder. I followed the barks, which were in the kitchen. Granny was laying on the floor, coughing a lot. Oh shit. Frickin shit. This might be a chance where I can redeem myself and save her! I ran to the nearest phone, fidgeting with the dial. God, please hurry up! I then finally heard a woman's voice after several long seconds of ringing.

"Who should I hook you up to?" What? This isn't the hospital? I put 911! Oh wait, there's the operators that hook you up to different lines. -_- Dammit headache!

"Uhh...The nearest hospital in Resembool, FAST!"

"Okay. Hold on. This might take a minute or two." After the operator said that I heard dial tones and ringing again. My heart was pounding and my hands were sweating, probably because an anime character is on the floor struggling for air or something. If Granny dies, then...Shit...

"Resembool Clinic, service to pets and people! How may I help you?"

"Granny Pinako collapsed and is on the floor coughing! Can you send a car or something over?!" The man paused, then started shouting to another person. He then sighed, making me hope for the best. I jinxed my chance.

"Well, our car now being used to pick up medical supplies from the pharmacy, and our wagon is on a mission to go around town to pick up strays...I'm sorry. There's no way any of our transportation would be in time to pick up Pinako. Can you carry her here? Her house is about three fourths of a mile from us, in case of any disabled people." ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME?! I have to RUN about A MILE, which I can't even DO, WHILE CARRYING SOMEONE?! Stop stalling, Nick, or else she really is going to die!

"I CAN! I'LL BE THERE IN 15 MINUTES!"

"Great! Better run now!" I gave my thanks to the guy, slamming the phone. I quickly swooped up Granny and ran out of the house, with Den following us behind. I looked up. Great. It's noon and it's hot. It's just my luck today, huh?

~BACK TO THE PRESENT~

(THIRD PERSON POV)

 **"Wait! Say it slowly! I'm writing it down!" Meicee quickly complained, writing as fast as she could in her notebook.**

 **"Why?" Meicee glared at Nick furiously, and eyed her notebook, then him.**

 **"IT'S FOR FANFICTION! MY FANFICTION IS MY LIFE! IT'S MY LIVING! Along with...huehuehue..." Meicee then made her 'perverted face,' giggling weirdly as she did. She then realized what she was doing, stared at Ed and Al, back at Nick and Jaquelin, then cleared her throat and blushed, looking back down at notebook.**

 **"I do NOT want to know what you're thinking right now, but sadly I DO!" Nick does not know what Meicee was thinking about, but has a clear feeling that it was perverted and probably about Ed. Meicee caught on quickly and gasped loudly.**

 **"GASP! I DO NOT! I TOTALLY WASN'T THINKING ABOUT ED AND YAOI AND BOOBS! TOTALLY!" Meicee made Xs with her arms, crossing them as Ed, Nick, and Al (even though he looks emotionless) smile smugly.**

 **"Uh huh..."**

 **"You're gonna call me cute again, huh? Come on, Squinty-Eyes!" Meicee blushed and glared at everyone in the room, including poor Jaquelin.**

 **"Wait, Meicee, you called Ed CUTE?! NO WAY! SAY IT!" Nick and Ed chanted 'say it say it' again and again, while Meicee screeched at them about her not being a tsundere (She totally is; she got 21 out of 24 on a tsundere quiz) and not calling anyone cute. Al soon joined in on the action, unfortunately for Meicee. Jaquelin sat there and sighed, probably wanting Nick to continue his story.**

 **"Can we continue the story?" Everyone ignored her. She decided to use her secret weapon: blackmailing.**

 **"Can we continue the story or else Meicee has to sleep with Edward in a room with one bed and nothing else, alone and locked from the outside, and Nick has to endure Meicee's kicks for the rest of the day! Alphonse, you...you're okay." Even though she didn't shout, everyone stopped, and returned back to their seats, some cringing, some blushing, and some doing both, along with maniacal internal laughing. Ahem. Let's continue.**

~BACK TO THE STORY~

~TIMESKIP TO ABOUT 10~15 MINUTES LATER~

Finally! I saw a building next to a farm, with a HUGE sign saying 'Resembool Clinic: The best and only in town!' I stopped running, which unfortunately made my legs even more sore. I fastened the pace, power-walking to the entrance. When I got inside, it wasn't better. I was sweating, despite there was three fans on, just in the entrance. I walked up to the front desk, where a man was doing paperwork.

"Um..Uh...I have Pinako..." Why are you acting as awkward as Meicee, Nick?! God, the headache is probably causing it all...

"Oh yes! Here, let me carry her! Since most of our doctors and nurses are not here today, can you go get a pack of ice, a bucket of water, cloth, and pills container labeled 'lungs?' Sorry about that!" He pointed to the backroom, which I sprinted into, looking in the room left and right for the supplies. Ice pack...Cloth...Bucket with water...lung pills (whatever the heck that is)...Found them! It luckily didn't take long to find the supplies, since the guy or someone labeled EVERYTHING. Even the supplies INSIDE THE DRAWERS. I scrambled to the patient room, which was a different room with five beds and several drawers. This clinic isn't professional looking, but it's very organized, I guess. TOO ORGANIZED. Granny was lying on a bed next to a window, with her glasses off and Den whimpering by her side.

"Thanks! Despite getting here late enough for someone to die, Pinako didn't have a fatal attack, luckily! Hey kid, are you her customer or something? You're a lifesaver either way! Thanks again! You can leave now if you want! She's going to be here for a couple days!"

"Nah, I'm never gonna leave. Do you have books on alchemy?" The guy pushed up his glasses, while wringing the wet cloth.

"Yes! We have about 10-15 books on basic and advanced alchemy, and healing alchemy from Xing called alkahestry! I can bring some over if you want! Also, can you help me just for today? I have about 15-20 patients today booked for appointment! Just the basics, like getting supplies, working the receptionist desk, simple stuff! In exchange I'll treat you to lunch and dinner, and hospitality for just today! What do you say, Equivalent Exchange?" Hmm, I don't believe in Equivalent Exchange as much as Meicee does, but eh. Why the heck not? I have no where to stay, no money or food, and I have to stay near Granny...Yep! No going back now! Ouch! My flippin headache...

"Sure, but do you have painkillers? I have a headache..." He nodded, stood up, and went to the drawer next the the bed across from Granny. The doctor gave me the bottle labeled 'painkillers,' and I thanked him quietly. Wait. I can't keep calling him guy forever! What's the guy's name? He looks like...a glasses guy. Dammit! Can't even come up with a name! Meicee would say something like "He looks like Kazuma! EEEE! I WANNA FUCK HIM!" Fine, probably not the last part, but she's unpredictable at times. I still remember her crying a bit while hugging me when we waited an hour and a half for burgers when I let her cut me. That was awkward. For me. Meicee? Eh, she probably doesn't give anything. I got up and wiped my sweat, getting a book on alchemy in the process. After standing in front of the shelf for a long time, so long that I popped in a couple painkillers because that headache is NEVER going away, I finally found a book titled 'Alchemy: The Basics.' And of course. Ed just NEEDS to write his own book. Yep, he wrote books. I sat down in a chair in the back room or somewhere, and opened it to the first page, skipping the note at the _beginning._

 _ **Alchemy** is the ancient metaphysical science/mystical art of manipulating and altering matter by using natural energy. This act is known as "Transmutation" and its sequence is usually described as:_

 _Comprehension - Understanding the inherent structure and properties of the atomic or molecular makeup of a particular material to be transmuted, including the flow and balance of potential and kinetic energy within. Deconstruction - Using energy to break down the physical structure of the identified material into a more malleable state so as to be easily reshaped into a new form. Reconstruction - Continuing the flow of energy so as to reform the material into a new shape._

 _The proper application of this craft requires not only a full understanding of chemistry and ancient alchemical theory, but also a sort of natural talent towards recognizing and manipulating the physical objects with energy, which require uncommon levels of intelligence and aptitude. Those remarkable individuals capable of studying and practicing alchemy are known as "Alchemists"._

 _There are many paths by which alchemists can transmute the various substances of the world, with some alchemists being said to transmute by way of the Four Classical Elements (Water, Earth, Fire and Air) and some by way of the Three Essential Principles (salt, sulfur and mercury), but the basic tenet at the very foundation of all alchemy is that of Equivalent Exchange._

Yawn. I love science, but who knew that reading up alchemy instead of doing it was this boring?! And this is the first page too! Well I have to deal with it if I really want to learn alchemy and become a State Alchemist! Reading some more and skimming through lots of pages, I come across the section titled "Human Transmutation."

 _Human Transmutation_

 _Unfortunately, these experiments have given birth to a dark and sinister side of alchemy. Whether out of despair, malice or inquisitive hubris, several alchemists have been known to attempt the application of transmutation to human bodies and souls, in essence, playing god with human lives. But, just as the Law of Equivalent Exchange applies to the transmutation of non-living matter, devastating rebounds can occur in Human Transmutation because human lives and souls are priceless according to the flow of the world._

 _Ingredients:_

 _Water- 35 L_

 _Carbon- 20 KG_

 _Ammonia- 4 L_

 _Lime- 1.5 KG_

 _Phosphorus- 800 G_

 _Salt- 250 G_

 _Saltpeter- 100 G_

 _Sulfur- 80 G_

 _Fluorine- 7.5 G_

 _Iron- 5 G_

 _Silicon- 3 G (along with 15 elements in small quantities)_

 _Resurrection_

 _Attempts to bring deceased human beings back to life are the most common practices to be called Human Transmutation and play a significant role in Human Transmutation if failed. Using various experimental theories and methods, multiple alchemists have endeavored to resurrect dead loved ones, but such pursuits are always failures, forbidden by the flow of the universe and alchemy itself._

 _A theory about Human Transmutation many believe is that it is determined that resurrective Human Transmutation is impossible because a soul that has left the mortal coil has passed on into the afterlife and can never be called back by human means. The attempt will cause a rebound due to both the inherent lack of any particular substance able to match a human soul in value and the fact that the initiated transmutation is reaching for an unattainable goal. Of the known attempted Human Transmutations, the rebound has been the "taking" of parts of the initiator's body out of the living world and into the void of the flow, such as losing a hand and leg, depending on how much a price is paid._

 _In addition, for having trespassed in God's domain with Human Transmutation, the initiating alchemists are essentially called into The Gate of Truth to face God itself. Being pulled through the gate grants alchemists great alchemical and universal knowledge - in exchange for paying a physical toll which usually takes the shape of the body parts "taken" by the rebound - and the ability to perform transmutations without a circle._

 _Another theory states the results of resurrective Human Transmutation are different. People who've done so declares that it is possible to bring dead humans back into the living world, but upon being revived, they generally become inhuman Homunculi with the physical appearance and memories of the humans they used to be. Using the Philosopher's Stone or a human life as the material to recall the soul, it is possible to bring back a human as a complete human. My brother, who helped me proofread this, also implies that it may be possible to complete a preexisting homunculus. If this is done,which it theoretically could be with a Philosopher's stone,(allowing one to survive creating a homunculus and to attatch a soul to it) it is unknown if the now complete homunculus will be a full human thus able to perform alchemy, age, and die easily, or not._

Even though I never researched alchemy on the FMA Wiki before, Meicee had mentioned several times about the different human transmutation methods from the anime, the remake, and the manga. It's interesting that this world combines all of it. I-

"Ow! What the hell, man?!" Kazuma (Callin the glasses doctor Kazuma b/c why not) took the book away from my hands and bonked me with it. He looked stern, but like he was joking of some sort.

"Go manage the receptionist's desk! There's three patients waiting and I'm tending to two right now, so accept the forms and tell them to fill it out! If they have an appointment, accept their form and call them in first! Got it? Great! Hurry, the receptionist's desk isn't going to do itself!" God, Meicee would make a dirty joke out of the last sentence. I got up and went to the front, rubbing my eyes. The desk is messy with papers, pens, and crap I didn't bother to look at. Sigh. It's gonna be a long time.

~TIMESKIP TO 2-3 DAYS LATER~

"Thank you, Schaefer! I hope I didn't burden you! I'm going back now!" The doctor (name's Schaefer, not Kazuma) was sorting out the papers on his desk as Granny left the room with her belongings. I stood there, nervous that she was going to yell at me and I'm going to blow my chance at getting somewhere.

"Wait, Pinako! Take it easy and take two pills a day, one in the morning and one at night! Also, shouldn't you take Nick with you? He DID help you here!" Granny looked at me suspiciously despite us under the same roof for a few days. Scowling then smiling a bit, she let out a sigh as Den circled her.

"Sigh. Okay. I still need to pay you back after carrying me here and treating me. Come on." I grinned wildly, relieved she didn't yell at me and left me there, as she walked outside, and I petted Den, who licked my arm.

"Thank you so much! Thanks! I really don't have a place to stay, so thanks! See you later, Schaefer!" Schaefer looked up and smiled, and Granny, Den, and I walked back to the infamous home of the Pantheress of Resembool. Once we got inside, I helped her clean up the place, since some things were knocked down or put out of place when she had that cough attack. After helping her clean, she put out the 'OPEN' sign and made some tea, which I drank. Smoking her pipe. she looked at me with concern mixed with happiness. Wait, how can you be happy when you're concerned?

"Earlier you said that you don't have a place to stay. Are you homeless or an orphan?"

"I'm...Neither. I have parents, both alive, and I'm not homeless. Well, now I'm kinda homeless." Granny raised an eyebrow at what I said, taking out the pipe in her mouth.

"What do you mean? Are you...running away from home? If that's the case...You should be ashamed!" I looked guilty when she said that with emphasis, but I stood strongly on my ground.

"No! That's not it! Uh..." Trying to find the easiest way to explain this, I decided to use the Elric brothers' research as an example. Luckily Granny told me about them beforehand or else...it'll be harder to explain how I know them.

"Um...Remember you told me about the Elrics? And their theories on alchemy? Did they mention other universes? Either way, I'm saying that I come from a different world. It's perfectly fine if you don't believe me! Just send me off with all the painkillers you have, a map, and some food! Sheesh, my headache is feels worse than 100 nukes exploding..." Yeah. Even with lots of rest, shit ton of painkillers, and imagining my mom sighing as I complain, it won't go away.

"I don't believe you fully, but if all of it is true...Then...Sigh...I don't know what to do with you...But for the meantime you can stay here. When Winry, Ed, and Al get back, we'll figure something out."

"You're...not kidding? I'm not going to be thrown out? What if I'm a creepy pedophile that targets teacups? You can't trust me that quickly!" Okay, I kinda figured out she'll take me in for the time being, but I need to test her reliability. In reality, I wouldn't say that. I'm just still trying to get over the fact that I'm in FMA. Alone. And I just associate FMA to anime, and anime to Meicee, possibly the most crazed, violent, dedicated otaku I've ever met. And because of her I was able to come up with the creepy pedophile that targets teacups.

"Haha! You think I'll abandon someone that saved my life AND stayed with me throughout recovery?! I need to repay you back somehow! You scratched my back twice, now it's time for me to scratch yours!"

"R-Really? Thanks, old lady!" She whacked my on the head with her pipe, getting some smoke in my eyes, making me dizzy from the long-lasting headache.

"That's the first rule! Don't insult your elders!" Rubbing my head, I chuckled slightly as Granny glared at me half jokingly and half serious.

"Got it! So, what to do-" I was interrupted by the phone ringing, and Granny mouthed 'tell me later' as she picked up the phone. After several minutes, she hung up and took a puff from her pipe.

"What happened?"

"Winry called, saying that she won't come back tomorrow due to some delay. Turns out Ed and Al picked up a new request, and the request is to protect two Xingnese girls that appeared out of nowhere. They're heading towards Rush Valley and Dublith. Is something the matter?" While she said that, my face slowly turned to hope and happiness, making me half grin and half scowl. Two Xingnese girls...Could one of them be Meicee? No, that's not possible...Unless that dream last night was true...

"What are the girls' names? What do they look like?"

"Winry gave little information since she didn't have enough money for the phone, but she said that their names were Jaquelin and Meicee. Jaquelin wears blue glasses and Meicee looks like a local Xingnese, but she did say that Meicee has a loud and 'unique' personality." What?! Meicee and Jaquelin are here too?! I slammed my hands on the table, making Den whimper a bit.

"Can you give me a one way ticket to Rush Valley? Please? I won't bother you!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Meicee and Jaquelin...They're my friends. I need to meet with them!" I tried to sound determined and brave, but it came out more of a loud mumble.

"Well, if it repays you of you helping me, then yes. I'll give you some money and such to take along. The next train to Rush Valley is in 2 hours. I don't know the whole story, but good luck." She chuckled as she took her pipe out of her mouth, walking out of the room. Den slowly began to follow Granny until she told him off, saying that she's not a little girl that needs a dog around her 24/7. I got up and began looking around the house, going into random rooms. I finally found myself in a study, filled with automail hanging on the walls and prototypes scattered around. I found a box on the floor labeled 'albums,' filled with books and random papers. I opened one of the books to a random page, seeing Ed, Al, and Winry with a younger Den in front of the Rockbells' house. I decided to sit down on the floor flipping through the photo albums. After looking at most of them, something caught my eye. On all of the last pages there were the same photos of all of them in front of the Elrics' house, all dressed in black.

~BACK TO THE PRESENT~

(THIRD PERSON POV)

 **"Did they look like adorkable little brats in the photo? Also, I NEVER said anything about a creepy pedophile that targets teacups before! Fine, maybe I did get carried away with Beauty and the Beast..." The crazed otaku scribbled some notes in her notebook, then started to draw Ed 'cause why not? And lemme explain the whole Beauty and the Beast thing. Meicee was looking at stuff about Disney Princesses and she was watching SAO: Abridged (SOMETHING WITTY ENTERTAINMENT YOU'RE AWESOME!) and things took off from there.**

 **"Well...I think they were adorable? Why, your obsession-" Nick then yelped in pain due to Meicee kicking him. Looming over him despite being...'fun-sized,' she gave him the infamous Izumi Curtis stare. Jaquelin was unfazed at this since it happens many times at school when Meicee got really embarrassed or pissed. The others, however, even seeing this scene a couple of times now, are still shocked at how violent Meicee was. Sure, her kicks were pussy compared to Ed's and Al's, but she kicked pretty hard for a normal...'fun-sized' girl.**

 **"Let me say this one more time. Mention Ed, warning kick. Mention love, death threat. Mention Ed AND love, I'll rip out your balls and make sure you perform human transmutation with it! Understand?" Meicee whispered loudly in Nick's ear, and even though she would NEVER kill people despite her violent stature, he gulped and nodded his head, shaking a bit. Meicee clapped her hands and returned to her seat, bouncing on the couch happily.**

 **'Hehe! Good! So, anyone want to share their thoughts on Snicker's story so far? I think it's OOC, AKA out of character, and perfect for fanfiction fillers! Also, I want to met Schaefer! Nick, was he hot? How old was he? Maybe he's like Kakashi; mysterious and hot!~ Huehuehuehue..." Meicee, spazzing off in her own fantasies of how Schaefer looked like, Nick looked creeped out but was chuckling a bit. Ed and Jaquelin looked uncomfortable, and Al remained motionless as ever, but was probably laughing his ass off.**

 **"Schaefer looks average for a 19-year old. Don't tell me..." Meicee widened her eyes and blushed, saying 'no' over and over again.**

 **"NO! I'm NOT! Hey Ed, you know this Schaefer? Tell me, what does he look like?"**

 **"Hey Al, you remember Schaefer? The son of the only doctor in Resembool? He had glasses and was following in his dad's footsteps, and always seems to freak out when Winry visits him when she got older? Now that I think about it, I need to beat his face in..." Ed was cracking his knuckles and it was pretty obvious he was over-protective of Winry. Nick and Meicee looked at each other, knowing what Ed meant.**

 **"Ah! Schaefer! He has regular glasses, and I remember he used have a few girls like him! He's serious and really nice, but sometimes he would joke around and pull pranks from time to time. I remember that one time he pulled a prank on one of his admirers because they were stalking him. I wonder what he's doing now..."**

 **"We should visit Resembool soon! I wanna meet him! He sounds cool! Anyways, back to your story, Snickers!"  
**

 **"For the last time, don't call me Snickers!" Meicee backed off since if Nick was pissed, he was PISSED. She's actually more afraid of pissed off Nick than her dad that's pissed off.**

 **"So Granny caught me looking at the albums, told me something inspiring, and I went off. And this is when I first got in Rush Valley. Well, after a few hours.."**

~BACK TO THE STORY~

Whoa! I just arrived in Rush Valley a few hours ago, and it's still bustling with activity. Sadly it's hot as hell and a book on alchemy isn't going to cool me down. Granny didn't give me enough money to book a night in a hotel, so I'm walking around, window shopping and trying to find shade. I finally found shade in front of a flower shop, taking off the bag Granny gave me to put in some books I took from her house, extra clothes, toiletries, snacks, painkillers, and some money. I originally had 500 Cenz and 20 Klus, but spent 120 Cenz and 2 Klus on a tiny replica of an automail arm made of silver. It's a multi-purpose item, and can be used as a whistle, pocket knife, tiny back-scratcher, and a tiny storage holder for coins. Sitting down in front of the window, I took out the half-full water container and opened it, drinking most of it.

"Geez...It's so hot here..." I rested for several minutes until I heard someone yell and run in front of me.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU PICKPOCKET! YOU DO NOT TAKE MY ONLY SUITCASE FROM ME!" I hear a girl laughing in the distance. Is that...Paninya?...I stood up and slugged the bag over my shoulder and walked forward, getting a better look. It IS! Holy shit! I started running after her, along with the woman. I soon caught up with the woman who soon noticed me.

"Are you trying to help me? Thanks kid! I'll give you 10 Cenz after! Hurry! Run faster!" I ran as fast as I could and somehow caught up with Paninya, with the woman behind me. I usually am bad at running long distances but this is a crack fanfic! No one cares about physics and impossibilities! Anyways, Paninya was running, almost dropping the woman's suitcase. She then tripped, falling on top of the suitcase. (Yay for plot convenience!) We caught up to her and I grabbed her arm, and the woman grabbed her suitcase, getting out her wallet.

"Here, 10 Cenz! Thanks kid! I'll be on my way now!" The woman walked away before I could've asked her if I could stay somewhere for free, and I was still holding onto Paninya, who was desperately trying to pry my hands off of her. Surprisingly I didn't let go of her despite me not being as strong or athletic as her. And even though Paninya stole the woman's suitcase, the woman didn't go the the police or something. Actually, she's probably walking to a station right now. Does Rush Valley even have a police station?!

"Hello?! Can you let go of me?! Let...GO!"

"Oh, sorry!" I quickly let go of her arm and she stared at me, pissed off that she couldn't trade whatever was in that suitcase to earn money. I expected her to run away so she won't get caught, but the plot armor was on my side. Well, sometimes. I took out all the money I had plus a metal scrap that was randomly in the bag and handed it to Paninya.

"Here. You can have those if you let me stay at your place for the time being. Also, do you have some painkillers? I'm running out." It's true. I only have 5 pills left and I know. It's unhealthy popping painkillers every 2 hours, but it's anime. No one dies from popping pills. They die from boners. Well, that's what Meicee believes. (DON'T KEEP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL, GODDAMIT!)

"This metal scrap...NO WAY! IT'S SUPER RARE IN RUSH VALLEY DESPITE THE MINES HAVING ALMOST ALL THE METALS AVAILABLE FOR AUTOMAIL! WHERE DID YOU GET THIS RHENIUM?!" Wait what? I'm highly confused.

"I don't know. It was just a random scrap left in the bag I'm using. I didn't put it there." Painya looked disappointed that I said that, but then grinned widely.

"Well, thanks for the money! I'll find a way to get my old man to let you stay with us! Come on, it's straight ahead!" I stumbled as I followed Paninya, who was walking really fast. I really didn't think it was that easy to progress getting out of FMA.

~TIMESKIP TO 1 HOUR LATER~ 

"We're here! You can come inside!" I was sweating A LOT and feeling nauseated due to that DAMN HEADACHE THAT WON'T DISAPPEAR and THE HEAT ISN'T MAKING ANYTHING BETTER! I followed Paninya inside the building and I instantly felt 100+ more degrees in the air due to the pizza oven (or what looks like one) heating molded automail parts. I see Dominic pounding against an automail cover (to cover the wires and shit, you know?), not paying any mind to Paninya.

"Hello, Pops! I bumped into this kid right here and I was just wondering-"

"No." Paninya pouted and put the money I gave her on a desk, possibly used to make rough sketches of automail and stuff.

"But Pops, I didn't say anything!"

"I know what you were going to say before you even said anything, and since this kid you just met is in my house, I know it's bad. So no."

"Can you at least hear me out?"

"Sigh. Fine, but it won't change my mind." Taking the automail cover and placing it on a cooling rack, Dominic took out an automail hand from the oven with tongs and began pounding it.

"So this kid gave me 390 Cenz and 18 Klus in exchange of us housing him for the time being, so...Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"NO."

"But he even gave me a rare rhenium scrap!~" Dominic finally looked up, ears perked at the word 'rhenium.' He then sighed and took the metal scrap from Paninya's hands.

"Sigh. Fine, but ONLY for the time being. Now kid, what's your name?"

"Nick. Nice to meet you, Mister!" Whew. Thankfully I didn't blurt out Dominic.

"Nick, go to the back and sort the common metals from the rare metals."

"W-What?"

"If you're going to be living under my roof for free, you better expect working all day. Go sort the common metals from the rare metals. Paninya, show him around." Well, Equivalent Exchange, right? Paninya saluted and walked out of the room.

"Are there more people living here?"

"Huh? Yup! There's Ridel, an automail mechanic, and his wife, Satera! They're expecting a baby soon! Satera is taking a nap, and Ridel is out shopping for metals! Oh, and here's your room! We usually use this room to store automail, but you can use it! Luckily we did spring cleaning several days ago! And by the way, the name's Paninya! Nice to meet you!" The room was decently small, like a janitor's closet. The room was so small that the bed was touching the dresser, which was on the other side of the room. Actually, I have a better joke. The room was so small that Ed was finally bigger than something! Ahh...That was bad.

"So is it always hot in Rush Valley?"

"Not in the winter! It snows several inches in the winter, luckily! We use the snow to cool off in the summer! We use it to refrigerate food, despite the refrigerator being sold in stores (it was new and expensive back then), and sometimes ice cream stands will sell snow with chocolate syrup! Weirdly enough, our hottest season is also the best season to sell automail! Speaking of seasons, where are you from?" Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit!

"Resembool." Dammit Nick!

"Is it cool there?"

"Yeah. It snows a lot in the winter and the summers sometimes have cool winds." WHY ARE YOU MAKING STUFF UP?!

"That sounds cool! So what brings you here to Rush Valley?"

"Automail." That's a lie. I just want to meet with Meicee and Jaquelin, along with becoming a State Alchemist because it's cool and alchemy's interesting. Sadly alchemy books are horrible at trying to teach me alchemy. Heck, I can't even understand it!

"Thought so! Ah, we're here! So to tell common metals from rare ones is easy! Just search for the size, color, and weight! There's 3 sacks to sort, so I'll help you!" Paninya then scrambled through one sack furiously, and after several minutes she took out 5 metal scraps.

"For example, this big one is iron! Most automail have a lot of iron in it for durability and strength, but it's quite heavy and hard to get use to! Most stores have iron scraps as the biggest along with silver, carbon, chrome, copper, cobalt, nickel, you know, the most common metals! Rare metals are very expensive and usually sold in small amounts! The more heavy, the more expensive! For the common metals, however, are sold based on where it's mined, the size, and the usefulness! Like copper, it can be used to create bowls, coins, a lot of common everyday items, so it's sold sometimes cheap and sometimes expensive, depending on the amount and store! All these sacks are filled with metals fresh from the trash or bought in stores! Anyways, platinum and gold, the rare metals, are sometimes used in automail for durability or for showing off! Like this yellow guy, that's a gold scrap! Luckily stores made the metals into scraps before they sold it or else it would've been heavier and harder to sort! Some stores sell them raw and straight from the mines, giving the money made to the miners! So, any questions?"

"Why do you pickpocket and steal instead of making automail? That's basically learning alchemy and becoming a gunman!" No offence to Hawkeye there! Paninya frowned, and got into serious mode. Time for tragic backstory!

"Well, I need to repay Dominic for something he did in the past. And I hang around his desk a lot, reading books on automail and sometimes helping him when I'm bored. So anyways, I'll help you sort them out!" Paninya quickly changed the subject and began searching through one sack, throwing some scraps out in one pile and some other scraps in another. I started helping her, and most of the time she was pointing out that this metal didn't go into that pile and that metal is a rare, so leave it in the bag. Overall, it was fun, despite feeling dizzy a couple of times and kind of burning my fingers on the metals due to the back being outside.

~BACK TO THE PRESENT~

(THIRD PERSON POV)

 **"And after that-"**

 **"Nick, stop there! Can you just give us a quickie on what happened afterwards? I don't want to run out of pages!"**

 **"Okay. The day after that Dominic began telling me to help him make automail since the orders doubled, and that was the click that made me want to pursue in making automail! I only know how to put wires and clean the outside, the basic stuff, but it's fun! And I kinda knew you guys were going to come here since earlier before you guys arrived I went into town to buy some stuff and saw that arm-wrestling contest, which happens once a month during the summer, and the winner gets all the betting money and 3 pounds of snow! That was when I knew you guys were coming since you need to come to Rush Valley and meet Paninya for the plot to go on. When I was walking back from buying stuff, I heard explosions several blocks away. I avoided that but knew it was Ed chasing Paninya. Reaching back here, I saw you guys and that's when this happened." Meicee took note of that and closed her notebook.**

 **"That's interesting! Any comments? Well, I'll go first! Based on that, I have only one thing to say: In my fanfic you're totally going to fuck Winry!" Ed cracked his knuckles and Nick widened his eyes as Meicee giggled in all evilness.**

 **"Meicee, I told you to stop shipping me with Winry! See, now you triggered Ed!" Meicee went over to Ed and patted him on the head, tippy-toeing, of course.**

 **"I was just kidding!~ But still, someone's gonna fuck someone!~ Maybe...Maybe...Maybe THIS could work! AL AND JAQUELIN! YES! IMMA MOTHERFUCKING GENIUS!"**

 **"Meicee, you know that I'm never going to fall for Al, right?"**

 **"Y-Yes! I agree with J-Jaquelin! N-No one's doing anything!" Al made Xs with his arms and it seems as though the armor was blushing. Meicee then had a wonderful idea, cackling maniacally.**

 **"Speaking of fucking, Ed...Al...You guys never had the talk about the birds and the bees, no? Well then...You guys are lucky! Though a virgin, I'm an expert! This lesson will come with demonstrations with Mr. Chair, hands-on activities, and more! Also, Jaquelin, you may leave, but...lemme borrow your glasses. Please?"**

 **"No. I'm leaving. Good luck."**

 **"Aww. I won't get to do the glasses demonstration! And also, can you lock the door from the outside when you leave?"**

 **"Fine." Jaquelin left the living room with 3 boys shivering in terror and an evil as hell otaku, locking the door.**

 **"WHY AM I STILL HERE?!"**

 **"Because Nick, I like torturing boys. Especially boys that can't stand my torture." (pls do not take this out of context pls i beg mercy on the Virgin Mary hehe VIRGIN Mary)**

 **"Also, Ed, Al, you perform alchemy to get out of here, wrenches and kicks. WRENCHES AND KICKS. Now, let's begin the lesson!" A bunch of nonsensical censoring (more than Boku no Pico) and girlish screams can be heard from here.**

 **~Author's Note~  
**

 **Whew! That was a long ass chapter to write! Also, leave a comment if you want the sex talk to happen as a bonus! Also, because we hit over 500 views and are close at 1,000, be prepared to have your butts clenched for a TRUTH OR DARE! The truths and dares were sent in from THEK1LL3R8UNN13 a LONG time ago! So yeah. This was super hard to write. And if you're wondering what happened to Hikaru and Kaoru, the pornography industry created by Renge and the fangirls got them. Anyways, this is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~**


	11. OMG! TRUTHS AND DARES!

**~Announcement~**

 **Hey guys! Last chapter was a bit of a catastrophe, and I also butchered the name TheKillerBunn13, so I'm very sorry! Anyways, I have questions prepared and T &Ds ready from TheKillerBunn13, so be prepared to be showered with BEWBS! Sorry, my Lost Pause section of my brain kinda took over, but seriously. There are going to be mentions of boobs and just really random shit. So yeah. The first segment is going to start off easy and smooth with questions, slowly (Correction: QUICKLY) moving into the RISKY ZONE WITH TRUTHS AND DARES!~ Also be aware this DOES NOT contradict with the fanfic! So! LET'S START! **

**Me: Introduce yourselves, or something...**

 **The SDO Cast: Hello! (Meicee: It's me. I've been wondering if after all these years you'll like to meet!~ *voice cracks*)**

 **Me: O...Okay...You can stop sounding like a pterodactyl giving birth, Meicee!**

 **Meicee: O-Okay... :(**

 **Me: Anyways, we're starting slow with questions! First question! Drumroll! I SAID DRUMROLL! *drumrolls* Thank you! FIRST QUESTION!**

 **Meicee: *whispers* You don't have any questions...BITCH...**

 **Me: SHADDUP! DON'T RUIN THE MOMENT!**

 **Meicee: Can't handle THE TRUTH?...*Ed, Al, and anyone that's seen the Truth shudders***

 **Me: Whatever! Onto Truths and Dares! I'm gonna spin this wonderful son of a wheel, the Wheel of Names! *spins* It landed on...the short-stack.**

 **Meicee and Ed: DON'T CALL ME SHORT!**

 **Mustang: It's creepy yet amusing how they're in sync when they say that. *smirks***

 **Meicee and Ed: WE'RE NOT A CIRCUS FOR YOUR OWN ENTERTAINMENT! STOP COPYING ME!**

 **Me: AHEM! *silences Meicee and Ed* Anyways, this is a Truth for Ed, Edd, and Eddy.**

 **Ed: Why did you say my name 3 times?**

 **Me: Because I couldn't here you shouting 'okay!' since you're so...chibi...*snickers***

 **Meicee and Nick: *laughs***

 **Ed: What does THAT mean!?**

 **Me: Chibi is Japanese for...SMALL TINY SHORT-STACK PIPSQUEAK DWARF-LIKE HOBBIT!**

 **Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT A GRAIN OF SAND THAT'S NEXT TO HIM IS THE SIZE OF A BOULDER?! I'LL BREAK YOUR LEGS AND TRANSMUTE THEM ON YOUR HEAD!**

 **Al: Brother! Control yourself! *holds back Ed***

 **Meicee: *fangirls***

 **Me: ANYWAYS, let's have a commercial break, shall we?**

 **~COMMERCIAL BREAK~**

 **Me: AND WE'RE BACK! Ed, did you finally calm down?**

 **Ed: I'm...I'm fine...**

 **Me: Great! So here's the Truth for Ed! If Winry didn't exist, would you take Meicee?**

 **Ed: What do you mean by that?**

 **Meicee: *widens eyes* *whispers* Please say no Please say no Please say no Please say no...**

 **Me: What do I MEAN BY THAT?! Sigh. Ed Ed Ed, you're not good at romance and stuff, are you?**

 **Ed: Well, I have missions from the military and I also need to study more alchemy in order to get our bodies back...**

 **Me: You poor poor thing. Lemme rephrase it. If Winry never existed at all, in Amestris and in the other side of the Gate, would you date Meicee and do...*censored* and *censored* with her?**

 **Meicee: I'm...Going home...**

 **Me: Oh HELL NO! YOU ARE STAYING! *traps Meicee in a cage* So, your answer?**

 **Ed: I never thought of it, even for Winry. But I guess Winry is kinda cute when she's not violent...**

 **Meicee: OMG SO BOOTIFUL! *fangirls***

 **Me: I thought you li-*gets muffled by Meicee***

 **Meicee: SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. Also, your cage has too big of an opening. You're free to go.**

 **Me: O-Okay...Goddamn was it terrifying to be muffled by my fanfic self...Anyways, Wheel of Names! *spins wheel* And it lands on...WINRY! Win Win, are you ready?**

 **Winry: Yup!**

 **Me: Okay! I dare you to kiss Ed like you're never going to see him again! *Winry and Ed widened eyes and blush***

 **Meicee: DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!**

 **Winry: N-No! I'm not doing that!**

 **Ed: For once I'm agreeing with her!**

 **Meicee: Do it or else I'M KISSING WINRY INSTEAD! You know what, I'm just going to do it just for your reactions! *French kisses Winry* Sorry if that was bad! It was my FIRST KISS after all!**

 **Random People: *takes pictures***

 **Winry: 0/0 *faints***

 **Ed: 0_0 *clenches fists***

 **Nick: WTF?! O_o**

 **Jaquelin: WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!**

 **Al: Brother, control yourself! O/O**

 **Meicee: Why did she faint? Was I that great of a kisser? Or did I have bad breath?**

 **Me: 0.0 I never thought I'll live to see this day, but I did. Ed, give Winry a True Love's Kiss to wake her up. Or give her CPR. Either way I count it as kissing.**

 **Ed: F-Fine. CPR, I guess...*gives Winry CPR***

 **Winry: *coughs* What...What happened?...*Everyone except for Meicee and Me blush* What? Tell me!**

 **Me: Don't tell her. Whatever you do, don'-**

 **Meicee: I French kissed you. In other words, I kissed you but put my tongue in your mouth. Sorry for making you faint. Also Ed did some mouth-to-mouth to you. So basically I made you faint and Ed gave you CPR. Also I stole your first kiss.**

 **Winry: O_O *whips out wrench* You...You...YOU BASTARDS! *whacks Ed and Meicee***

 **Me: Al, you take care of them, okay? SPINNING TIME! *spins* It landed on...NICK! Nick, tease Ed about his height with whatever you've got!**

 **Nick: Easy! *goes over to Al* Do you think he'll hear me?**

 **Al: I don't think so. He's unconscious, I think.**

 **Nick: Okay then! Even easier! Ed, you're so short that you can be used as not a chin rest, but a foot rest! You're also very short because the Truth was too lazy to change the height bar when you were born! Heck, even Frodo's taller than you despite being a Hobbit! Also-*gets punches by Ed***

 **Ed: Ugh, did I hear someone say...SHORT?...*cracks knuckles* Who said it?! Who?! Wh-*gets kicked by Meicee***

 **Meicee: I heard someone's insulting me...Who...Who...(she looks creepy since her long ass bangs are in front of her face)**

 **Me: N-No one said anything...*sweatdrops***

 **Meicee: You're lying...You're me, so I know if you're lying or not...*steals Hawkeye's gun and cocks it* (hehe...COCKS IT...)**

 **Me: EVERYBODY RUN! THE PROTAG HAS A GUN! *goes Super Sonic***

 **~PLEASE STAND BY~**

 **Me: So...*pants*...We're back...*pants***

 **Meicee: Hello!~ We're back!~ Since Author Lady is out of breath and has a few stitches, I'm going to be spinning the wheel and reading the truths and dares aloud! *spins wheel* And it lands on...ME!~ It says: In 5 words, describe yourself including the word 'sho-Oh. Jaquelin, can you read this?**

 **Jaquelin: Okay. In 5 words, describe yourself including the word 'short-stack.' There. Also, apologize to them!**

 **Meicee: S-S-So...Sorry! Sigh. What do I get out of this if I do this?**

 **Me: You get...A free...Body pillow...*Meicee's ears perk up***

 **Meicee: With what character on it?**

 **Me: Gak...upo...**

 **Meicee: DEAL! THAT SON OF A BITCH IS FINE! I think I'm...Creative, Crazy, Weird, Otaku, and...Sh-Short...GIMME MAH GAKUPO!**

 **Me: Here's the money...Buy it yourself...**

 **Meicee: BAI BITCHES!~ *runs away***

 **~TIMESKIP TO THE TIME WHEN EVERYONE'S HEALED UP~**

 **Meicee: And we're back!~ Author Lady, take it away! I'm gonna go to the back room to do some...'stuff' with mah new body pillow...BAI! *runs away***

 **Me: Finally that bitch left...Anyways! Spin DA WHEEL! *spins wheel* And it lands on...**

 **Ed: You know you ran out of time, right?**

 **Me: Really? Then I'll go get her! God, I'm scared...*enters back room***

 **~IN THE BACK ROOM~**

 **Me: Meicee, you in here?**

 **Meicee: Why are you here?! *hugs body pillow* I'm watching Noble goes to Japan while using my body pillow as a couch!**

 **Me: Well um...I thought you were...Doing something else?...**

 **Meicee: -_- You should know better!**

 **Me: But you were cussing out Gakupo's name...**

 **Meicee: Because that dumbass body pillow caused me to trip and fall several times! This back room is super dark!**

 **Me: Okay...Anyways, we're out of time, so come out?**

 **Meicee: Okay!~**

 **~OUTSIDE WITH THE OTHERS~**

 **Me: So yeah. That's it. Thanks to TheKillerBunn13 for sending in the truths and dares! This is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~**

 **The SDO Cast: BYE! *mutters* Never doing this ever again...**


	12. OMG! A BABY!

**~Announcement~**

 **Hey guys! I'm back! When I get back in school in about a month I'll probably only stick to this fanfic and not focus on The Girl with the Notebook and The Goddess is a Part-Timer! since this is much more fun to write and I can't juggle a lot of homework, random stuff, and 3 fanfics at a time, but I'll try to post a lot of the others that aren't abandoned or completed and shit! Next chapter we'll be heading towards Dublith, and crazy shit will happen! And my computer needs to be repaired, so this is written on the next best thing: the IPad. It might be delayed, but never fear I'm not putting this off! Also please do not Google Kuro Miso Technique unless you want more educational but messed-up history about manga! ALSO ALL THE REFERENCE TO METAL IS TRUE BUT IF ANY SOUND OFF IT'S BECAUSE I FORMAT IT TO FIT THE TIME PERIOD! Anyways, enjoy this chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or else the art style would've been bishonen like. Like The Rose of Versailles bishonen.**

 **WARNING: If you got this far this is your last chance to exit and go watch some Anime Man. If you do not want to leave since you can tolerate me, then...LET'S BE BEST BUDDIES FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER! (jk pls no stalk we no bffs & i still luv u all)**

 **~_!_~**

"Thanks Winry for unlocking the door! I was educating them! Luckily we're done now! Here, you can have them!" I exclaimed evilly as the guys tread behind me, traumatized from learning about sex. Nick quickly dashed past us into a room, slamming the door as he must. I'm sure they'll find the information helpful! I mean, I took a test and it turns out my sex IQ is 129! I was surprised and baffled, but meh. I could've had worse.

"Oh no problem! What's wrong with them? They look like they've just seen a ghost!" I laughed and opened the door to make it wider. Ed collapsed while walking halfway in the hallway, and Al quickly snapped out of it and shook Ed over and over again, trying to snap him out of it.

"They saw a ghost alright! Anyways, what did you guys do while we were in there?"

"I talked to Dominic and the rest for a while, I ate some leftover salad, and...That's about it." Hmmmm. HMMMMM. HMMMMMMM! That sounds suspicious! Okay, fine, I didn't REALLY think that, but being the nosy nose I am, I just HAVE to know!

"Are you sure? I hear something missing!~" Winry looked guilty for a second, then sighed like she was depressed.

"Well, um...Fine! But don't tell Ed or else I'll FREAKING KILL YOU! Ahem. Sorry!~ You know the pocket-watch Ed has? I...I...I opened it. Paninya and I were curious...And when I saw what's inside, I felt inspired to ask Dominic if he would take me as an apprentice, but he said no. I wanted to ask again, but I didn't want to annoy him and decrease my chances." Winry started tearing up when she mentioned the watch, wiping her eyes. Luckily Ed and Al cleared the hallway before Winry said that, but because I know what was in the watch, I kinda knew what she's aiming at. But there's one problem: I don't know how to deal with crying people. Especially girls.

"Um...Uh...It's...Okay? Sigh. Okay. I understand your feelings, with me knowing everything that happens here in the past and future, but you should ask Dominic again at the right time. Maybe bond with him more before asking, like getting him to examine Ed's automail. Actually, do that. Or don't listen to me. I don't give a fuck anyway." I shrugged and patted Winry's back, saying 'there there' monotonously, uncomfortable for some reason.

"Sigh. Okay! Thanks for the talk, Meicee. See you! OH ED?~" Winry went on down the hallway, having an evil aura around her. I shuddered and chuckled softly to myself, walking away from Winry in a random direction. I'm bored, Brain-Kun!~ What is that you say? You say...Sing?! No singing! Think about Free! doujinshis? GREAT IDEA! Mmmm, Makoto's dick looked like a tongue! Dammit teenage hormones! Ummm, Brain-Kun, why don't you talk about yourself? Uh huh...Oh...Shit...OH...So lemme get this straight. You're a guy, that sounds like a girl, is more sensible than me, is like Boris from The Addams Family, and looks like a more attractive version of me, but can change your form to anything else, and your favorite form looks like a combo of Nagisa, that one guy from Love Stage, Yoon, and Yukine? COOL MAN! YOU ARE THE MVP! DA MVP! Oh, you want me to shut up? Okay...

"Meicee, there you are! Nick and Jaquelin are looking for you in the dining room!" Al, bent over because of his height, startled me for a second, making me think he was the big, looming shadow I see every night. I know for a fact that it's not cause by any object in my room since nothing is as tall as the ceiling! And don't call me blind or delusional here! It's a ghost and I know that! The shadow sometimes scare the crap out of me!

"Thanks, Al! So...Where's the dining room? I didn't exactly get the grand Tour de France here you know!" Al looked at me quizzically as I made the reference, then shook it off. He lead me out the hallway, armor creaking and squeaking, and into a dining area the size of my knowledge of mannerisms, in other words, pretty...just think Ed but he's been turned into a room. Yeah, his size. The area was quaint, with a simple dining set and automail decor on the walls. Because of the extreme heat in Rush Valley, I quickly grabbed the pile of papers on the table, creating a makeshift fan.

"So, what do you yes want to talk about? Anime? Reality? How fabu I am?" I gave them my Yato smile as I posed heroically, seeming to make my ego bigger. What's ironic is that I don't like to be complimented, be the center of attention, or any of that bullshit, I quite like the opposite.

"No, we wanted to talk about our world. How our parents would freak, school, etc..Since we're together now." I stopped posing like an idiot and tsked at Jaquelin in a jokingly manner, putting my hand on her shoulder.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Jackie, tsk tsk. We are in a fictional world! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, hell, might not even BE an opportunity! We have to live in the moment, be THE MOMENT! Make something out of dirt! Fall in love! But...If we're talking serious cereal, Al Gore cereal, then I would just say hope for the best. Time at our world might be frozen, might be slower, as if I would know, but I'm sure everything's going to be fine! I mean, we might as well live and act like anime protagonists, well, don't act like Itou Makoto or Light Yagami, instead act like Hak or Nagisa or Park Hyung Sak or the guys from 19 Days! Speaking of 19 Days,I need to see some yaoi right now! Mmmm, YAOI..." I did my creepy fangirling laugh, giggling happily like a schoolgirl. But in all honesty, while I was doing those silly things, I was afraid. I was afraid that I was going to die here unhappily and never return to our world. No matter how great of a world this is, I want to live and go back, because there's nothing that can replace your home. Even a really happy, perfect home.

"Thanks, Meicee."

"Thanks, Meicee! Well, umm...Wait what's that you're holding?" I shrugged and fanned myself some more.

"The papers on the table? I made it into a fan!" Nick's eyes widened, and quickly snatched the papers away, spreading them out on the table.

"Meicee! These are Dominic's automail orders and tax collection notices! You should be glad that he's not here right now!" I smiled sheepishly, repeating 'sorry' over and over again.

"So...What do we do now?" I stared at Jaquelin, then at Nick, and behind me, AKA looking at Al. I was a bit startled when Al stared down at me, but strangely enough I kinda found it cute. CUTE?! Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Think of something else...I know! Ed! Nope nope! I was starting to blush a lot, and I was hyperventilating fast, spouting nonsensical anime references.

"Koujaku, yeah! No too hot like Gakupo and the elegant cool types...I mean! Ahem! Why don't we go join the others, okay?" I giggled weirdly as I bounced out of the room with them following me, questioning my sanity. Several minutes later we were back at the dining area again, with Jaquelin giving me a weird look.

"What? Nick and Al know this place better than me! I was just following my instinct! Nick, show ze way to ze room, okay?" I regretted doing that HORRIBLE French accent there, but I made it worse by doing a fancy bow after. Nick nodded and started leading us to Dominic's workplace, which was 9,001 degrees hotter. Ed sat on a wooden stool, shirtless and bored while Winry and Dominic bond over automail. Satera and Ridel were no where to be found, but Paninya was listening to their conversation as she looked around the room, doing random tasks as we first entered the room, while Ed caught my eye. Trying not to stare at him too much, I started looking around the room, but my eyes keep leading back to Ed's abs. Sure, we were all sweating a lot, so much that it drips from our nose to the ground, but sweat equals more sexiness, right? I mean, look at how it outlines the abs so well...Mmmm...HOLY SHIT HE HAS ARMPIT HAIR! I mean, I should've noticed it earlier, but damn! He has A LOT. To be honest it makes him more masculine looking, but...NO! NO INTERNAL NOSE-BLEEDING!

"I never knew that! So making his automail lighter can increase his height, but what metals do I use?" Winry gladly asked Dominic as she gave us a welcoming side look, and NO! NOT THAT KIND OF SIDE LOOK YOU PERV! Ed's ears perked up, and started talking about being tall while doing some weird heroic poses.

"You see, aluminum and magnesium are often used for this situation to incorporate strength into automail, but using alchemy to fuse tiny ceramic particles into molten metals is more effective, however; it is very hard to do this since this makes a metal-less fluid and harder to pour into a mold. Unfortunately people haven't come up with a solution for this, and even I tried, but now I don't want to waste my precious metals on a problem so small. I'm not an alchemy mechanic, but that's the answer, whether you like it or not." Dominic huffed, wiping his face with the face towel around his shoulders. Ed then stopped heroically posing around the room and dashed to Winry, clasping her hands and doing a rant. I whipped out my notebook, quickly writing down what's happening, as Al sweatdrops, Jaquelin wandering around the room, and Nick putting the papers on Dominic's desk.

"WINRY! WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE THAT LIGHT AUTOMAIL THAT MAKES ME TALLER, I'LL TRANSMUTE CERAMIC PARTICLES INTO A HUNK OF METAL! I'LL FINALLY TOWER OVER AL AND ARMSTRONG! I WILL BE EIGHT FEET TALL! NO, EVEN TALLER!" I sighed as I wrote down this scene, trying to ignore Ed's abs. After several minutes, I soon got tired of the heat and closed my notebook, wiping my drenched-in-sweat face. Unfortunately for your FABU~ otaku, I bumped into Al, who was hotter than the room itself. I hissed and backed away from Al, who was apologizing in the background of this fiasco.

"Um...Ed? Ed? Ahem. I don't wanna say this, but...CUTESY MANLY MASCULINE ED!" I yelled with all my might to catch the blonde's attention, and it did. He stopped asking Winry stupidly and looked at my blushing face like Izaya grinning while watching a woman's face as she falls to her death. WHAT UP DURARARA! REFERENCE!

"Ahem...Can you...Say that again? Say that I'm manly and masculine?" An irk mark appeared on my head as my face became more sweaty, and I rolled my eyes, kicking Ed's shin. He backed up, dragging his right leg a bit.

"N-NO! ED ED N-NO! ALSO YOU VIOLATED MY PERSONAL BUBBLE! PERSONAL BUBBLE! YOU GOT WHAT CAME FOR YOU! It went something like that..." I pouted as I did that cute Aisaka Taiga pose, you know, the one she does while saying 'b-b-baka!' Okay, fine, it didn't look cute on me, especially when I'm sweaty, pissed, and face as red as a horrible sunburn.

"What personal bubble?..."

"Meicee acting like Meicee, as usual..."

"Meicee kicked Brother?! Well, I should've be surprised, after all she IS unpredictable and loves torturing..." Jaquelin, Nick, and Al commented in the background, facepalming and sweatdropping at the same time.

"That fucking hurts, SHORTY." Ed slowly grinned again while rubbing his shin, and I got really fed up. THAT'S IT! I CAN'T STAND BEING CALLED THAT WORD SO MANY TIMES IN THREE DAYS! I NEVER GET FED UP BUT THIS TIME IT'S DIFFERENT! I fumed and exited the room, stomping my feet and slouching like a kindergartener. I feel as though when I exited I brought down the mood. Once I reached the coolest part of the house, AKA the guest room's corner, I brought up my knees and started rocking back and forth, regretting what I've done. I should've kept in my anger like every time my friends piss me off! I totally brought down the vibe and acted like a brat! I need to go back and apologize, but...Apologizing is embarrassing...You know what, I can do this! I'll just go back in and be cheerful again and forget that eve happened! Okay, let's do this shit! I pumped up my fists, bouncing back up from the corner. I happily put on a smile and opened the door, seeing Ed, still shirtless in front of me. I stared at him for a few longgg seconds, and then slammed the door after realizing what I was did. My heart was pounding, and I started thinking weird, pervy thoughts.

"Hehe...Haruka...Hehe...Sharky...No! I can't! I need to apologize!" Getting pumped up, I opened the door again, seeing Shirtless Shorty again. Shit. I forgot about him. I blushed again while staring at his abs, slamming the door again, but this time Ed caught the door, opening it as I let go. I quickly backed up to the wall, my back sticking on my shirt. Taking my hoodie off and tying it around my waist, I sighed and looked at Ed, who looked quite terrifying, despite his abs distracting me.

"Um...Hi...I'm sorry...Pleasedon'tkillmeyoucuteGermanbastard!" I raised my arms, blocking my sweaty ass face. After a few pregnant seconds, Ed was chuckling a bit, looking hot as fuck. No really! I'm not saying this because it's Ed! If you've seen hot German boys, then...Send me some pics. I want them for...research...I raised down my arms, seeing the most bishonen moment in FullMetal Alchemist: Ed chuckling SHIRTLESS while SWEATING. Hehe...I wish I have a camera...

"Haha...Hahaha! Squinty-Eyes, I'm not going to kill you for a fucking bruise! I had worse! Come on, you've been in here for 3-"

"ED! MEICEE! SATERA'S WATER BROKE! IN OTHER WORDS, SHE'S HAVING THE BABY RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!" Interrupting our conversation, Paninya shouted nervously, leading us to Satera's and Ridel's bedroom. Ed and I fought a bit trying to squish out the door, running through the house that I still don't know. Once we got to the room, we heard A LOT of panicking and complaining.

"THE BABY'S COMING! BROTHER, THE BABY'S COMING!" Al ran around the room before spotting his brother, shaking him back and forth while yelling at him with his girly cute but metallic voice.

"A BABY A BABY A BABY GAH! IT'S MAKING MY HEADACHE WORSE! I NEED MY PAINKILLERS!" Nick ran out of the room to get painkillers, still shouting about the baby while running out.

"Everyone just calm do-A baby's coming...A baby! Meicee, DO SOMETHING!" Jaquelin was freaking out, but not as badly as...Oh god, Al...Paninya...Well, to say the least Jackie wasn't running around like she's gotta go fast, but she is shaking a bit.

"Satera dear, please try to hold it in! Tell the baby to stay in a little bit longer, okay?" Ridel was trying to calm his wife with holding her hands as she laid on the bed, sweating.

"Honey, the baby wants to come out NOW! URGH! IT HURTS! I FEEL LIKE DYING!" I noticed Ed soon joined his younger brother in the panic, running around and soon shaking my shoulders, ranting about not his height, but the baby. Around this time Nick came back with a sackful of painkillers, which I don't think is that healthy for a kid, but oh well. It's anime. Anime has no boundaries whatsoever. WAIT WHY AREN'T I FREAKING OUT?! Oh yeah, because I'm too excited fangirling inside to be panicking.

"MEICEE, THE BABY! THE BABY! DO SOMETHING! WORK MAGIC! MRS. SATERA SAYS SHE'S GOING TO DIE! WHY AREN'T YOU FREAKING OUT?!" While Ed was freaking out along with EVERYONE in the room, I was busy acting like a genius cultivating a plan for your plan that was to foil my plan that made my plan a better plan than your plan. WHAT UP MAKING FUN OF CODE GEASS REFERENCE!

"Okay...Ahem. AHEM. Okay, better. EVERYONE SHUT DA FUCK UP AND LISTEN! STOP PANICKING YOU SONS OF PUSSIES! Ahem. Sorry for being so mean! I was trying to get your atten-HAY! YOU SONS OF BASTARDS LISTENING?! Sigh, gonna have to bring out the big guns...Ahem. One, two three!~ Okay, my voice cracked. Puberty is going on. Ahem. Renge laugh? Renge laugh. Ahem. HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!~~" Everyone cringed immediately after I did my Renge laugh, which sounded worse since my voice cracked thirty different ways that sounded like Dipper. To be honest, I was proud of my Renge laugh, but I was prouder of my Markiplier impression, which is not as deep as I can go, which is the Low D. Or Low C. Either way that's deeper than your mom watching Bible Black Episode 16. BURN!

"Sorry about that!~ I had to get your attention! So! Dominic Sir, we're not getting a doctor in this weather! We just can't, so we're delivering the baby, okay? And you can't say no or else the baby WILL DIE. Okay? Okay!~ So people that want to help, stay! People not helping, GTFO! In other words, get out! Also if you're not helping you can only stay for the first ten minutes of the procedure, except for Ridel and Dominic because family! Okay? Okay!" Ed, Al, and Dominic exited the room, and Dominic muttered some things that are too tsun and dere for the reader to read. With the remaining people in the room, I set up a few assorted chairs next to the door, and asked Ridel to move over to the chairs. He quietly accepted, saying a few prayers after he kissed Satera's hand.

"Okay! Winry, you're on water duty, so get two bucket of hot and cold water! Jaquelin's on towel duty, so change the wet towels every thirty to forty minutes! Nick is on painkiller and blood sucking duty, so give her a painkiller if she says so, and use the dry towels to suck up the blood! Paninya, you can help either one of them, but go get a bucket for people to puke in, okay? But before AND after all that, WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS! Okay? Okay!~" I clapped my hands, going to go wash my hands with Jackie. After washing, I rushed back to the bedroom, finding a hankerchief in one of the drawers. Twisting it really tight, I stuck it in Satera's mouth.

"This is for you to bite on, okay? If you don't want it in your mouth, spit it out. If you want a glass of water or anything, ask anyone except me, since I'm delivering a VERY important package!~" Several minutes later, everyone that's helping rushed in with the items, panicking and quickly readying everything. Once everyone set their stations up, I winced at what's going to happen. Hey, reader, don't look at me like that! I'm no Doogie Howser and yes I love that show! And double yes that I marathon it along with I Dream of Jeannie, BeWitched, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and Saved by the Bell! SHADDUP!

"Okay, Mrs. Satera, I'm no doctor so if this ends up in Hell, I'm terribly sorry. Hold on tight!" I nervously looked at the others, who were all inexperienced and scared shitless. Doogie Howser, HAND ME YOUR POWER!

~5 PAINFUL HOURS LATER~

"PUSH SATERA PUSH! PUSH IT! PUSH IT! PUSH IT REAL GOOD! PUSH IT LIKE SALT N PEPPER! PUSH IT! PUSSHHHHHH LIIIKKKKEEEE YOOOUUUUU NEEEVVVERRR PUSHEDBEFORE! OMG THE BABY POPPED OUT! OHMAHGODOHMAHGAWD! WINRY YOU'RE HOLDING THE BABY AND CLEANING AND INSPECTING THE BIG GUY! My god, I'm going to go deaf..." I panted heavily as I wiped my face with a wet face towel, sitting down lazily on one of the chairs I set up, next to Ridel. Hands bloodied and shirt stained with red milk, I sighed as I looked at Ridel, who was thankful all that panic was over.

"I delivered your first kid without a doctor's degree. You're welcome. It was painful as hell, though. You can see your kid later when he's cleaned up, okay? Congrats. Sigh, so lazy..." I closed my eyes, not believing what just happened. I DELIVERED A FUCKING BABY! A BABY! I felt a soft pat on the head, then being pulled close in for a hug. Opening my eyes, I saw Ridel hugging me while tears streamed down his face, smiling gently.

"Thank you so much. Thank you. Later I'm going to give you a surprise in exchange, and something special for the rest, I swear." I started to feel fluffy on the inside, tears forming at the corners of my eyes. I accepted his hug, hugging him back. After two seconds or so, he pulled away, wiping his face. Ridel then got up to go check on Satera, who was fatigued from all the struggle she went through. Sitting back and relaxing for a bit, Jackie, Snickers, and Paninya saw me, walking up to me sluggishly.

"Huh? Oh. Hey guys! That was hella crazy, right? Another thing to cross off my bucket list..." Jaquelin and Nick sat down, still in disbelief that I, of all people, delivered a FUCKING baby. Paninya, carrying her 'Barf Bucket,' stood as she wiped her mouth, putting down the bucket.

"Meicee, that wasn't just hella crazy, that was FUCKING crazy! I never thought I would be experiencing this with everyone! You know I could never deliver a baby, and yet you didn't bail for someone else to take over. You just kept going for hours on end, and...I think that's pretty awesome." Jaquelin cleaned her glasses with the clean part of her shirt while my eyes widened in dismay because of Jackie cursing for the first time, happiness because I NEVER get comments like that from my friends, and embarrassment because I HATE getting comments like that from ANYONE. I choked up, almost crying, and yeah, I know, I'm a fucking hypocrite.

"Thank...Thank you? I...I just kept going or else I'd seem like a pussy with no balls, and because I suggested it. I didn't want to let everyone down. Hell, I was so scared and nervous that I would've gagged and shit my pants and collapse minutes in! Instead, I was like: 'Nope. I ain't bailing out like the time we rock-climbed at camp. I ain't being Queen Chicken Nuggets no more.' Though it's not me you should thank, it's Winry. She was instructing me hardcore! Haha! To be honest, halfway through I felt like crying from pressure and stress, so to prevent myself from crying like a bitch I thought of you guys. And I also thought of anime characters and the shit they've been though, repeating 'Meicee you haven't experienced half the shit they've been though!' But that didn't stop me from crying now, did it? Haha, fuck me..." I wiped my face with my shirt, laughing happily that that hellhole was over.

"Meicee, even though I saw this coming with you, I never thought you would deliver the baby; I thought it was going to be Winry! But no, it was you! Jeez, I thought I was going to die from the headache and the stress! I'm...grateful for this experience. I really am." Nick stretched his arms, looking over at Paninya's 'Barf Bucket.' Gagging at the smell, Paninya looked at him, scratching the back of her head. I ignored the awful stench, since I've been up and close with manure before and to be honest, kinda liked the smell. HEY! I'M NOT WEIRD! I just...I just have...I just have a dysfunctional nose! Yeah! That!

"Sorry, everyone! I'm the type to faint or barf at the sight or smell of blood! Hehe! This experience reminds me of the time I finally got my automail legs from Dominic. You see, I was in a train wreck, and my mom was unfortunately killed in it. Losing my legs, I lived on the streets since then, crawling to get around. One day Dominic walked towards me, and I glared at him, thinking he never experienced what I experienced and was looking down on me. Saying a few words, he picked me up, despite my protesting. Through the course of three years, I got my legs, though the process of rehabilitation was harsh. Once I got used to it, I was amazed and happy that once I was standing on two legs instead of sitting in a crummy wheelchair. It was the first time I felt sunshine touch my face. Uh, sorry for rambling! Really am!" Paninya put her hands up in apologize, and we forgave her dearly. I got up, muttering about my back being sore despite my age.

"Fucking back...Anyways, I'm going outside. Thanks for trusting me and for helping! Really! Thanks a bunch! Oh, and when you see Winry, tell her I said thanks and give her an invisible hug!" I grinned as I opened the door, saluting them. Seeing Ed and Al, I smiled warmly and hugged them. God, good thing Ed put his shirt back on or else I would've acted like Marionette around Adrian. WHAT UP MIRACULOUS LADYBUG REFERENCE!

"The baby is safe out of the mom! Winry's cleaning up the big guy right now, so don't worry! And don't worry about Mrs. Satera, she's fine, despite her cries and saying that she feels like dying; that's just what giving birth feels like, since giving birth the pain released is higher than the average human being can handle! Luckily that was a short birthing, or else I would've died!" Not hugging back and suffocating of air, Ed pulled away from me as I pouted, whining a bit. Soon after I pulled away from Al, who was saying that was one of the few times he was hugged after what I call 'The Worse Mother's Day Incident.'

"Ugh..Gah! What the hell was that for?!" Al looked at his older brother disapprovingly, despite me acting more vulgar than him. Rubbing the back of his head, Ed made the 'tsh' sound, sitting now more laid-back.

"Ah, Eddie, you're no fun! Is this how you treat a girl that just helped deliver a baby?! Sigh. I'm just joking around! I knew you guys would be worried, so I gave you all the main info and tried to comfort you! You can go see Mrs. Satera now, but I'm pretty sure she's tired and sleeping the pain away. The baby is being cleaned and inspected by Winry, so for now we're gonna think of some baby names!~ Oh yeah, Winry and Paninya opened your pocket-watch earlier." While I was in my ditsy happy-land, Ed's facial expression went from 'oh I'm surprised and happy' to 'what you say, dat boi?'

"WHAT. DID. YOU. SAY." I snapped out of my happy trance and crab-walked far away from him, knowing I was fucked. Ed caught up to me and now we're face-to-face, inches away from what could be a fiasco if someone bumped into Ed. Fine, BRAIN-KUN, I'll put this for the dumbs dumbs like me! Sigh. In other words, someone bump, somebody kiss. There. HAPPY?! *internally blushes*

"I mean! I...Uh...You...You're...Me...My...Gah... has stopped working...I MEAN! I'M FINE NOTHING'S WRONG WITH ME! Sigh. I'll say it if your face isn't one step away from kissing me. Ugh, does my breath smell?" Slightly blushing, Ed moved back while I was testing if my breath smelled. And holy shit it did. Or my nose broke. I'd like to say my nose broke. :P

"S-Sorry...You sai-"

"Yes, I said it even though I wasn't supposed to rat on them. Winry and Paninya opened your pocket-watch. There's really no use at yelling at them; we're all tired and it's fine. If Nick and I know what's in there because of research and a series based on you, it's fine. I know you're gonna say it isn't because privacy and shit, but really, there's no use. Paninya doesn't get half of it, Winry feels motivated by it for various reasons, and Nick and I know not to pry in your past. So if you're going to start crying like a bitch I can't help because I'm horrible what dealing with that. Sorry if I sounded mean!~" I sweatdropped as Ed's vein popped and his angry shark teeth began showing, but he didn't yell. Did I do a good job? No? Okay...

"Sigh. You're right. I won't yell at them for it, but I AM still pissed at them opening it. Speaking of which, where the hell is it?" I looked to the left and right cluelessly, and cocked my head. For some strange reason I started to look like a chibi version of myself...FUCK! CALLED MYSELF SMALL! UGH! DID IT AGAIN!

"Uh...I don't know? I'll go ask-Oh my. Speak. Of. The. Maou." Winry came out of the bedroom, wiping her forehead with one of the wet towels. She walked towards us, clueless of what's going on. Aw, Al. Never gets that much attention here. :(

"Hey, what's going on? Meicee, you did a wonderful job of delivering the baby! Good job!" I blushed, facing the other direction, trying to not be the center of attention.

"N-No! It was all you! If you didn't instruct me, it would've gone terribly wrong! After all, my parents aren't doctors..." Winry looked flattered and said 'thanks' A LOT. Ah, I need to ask her about the watch!

"Ahem! So, Winry, where's Eddie's watch? He's been looking for it! I think...Wait Ed why didn't you go look for it for the past a zillion hours?"

"I DID and I FAILED. It wasn't at the guest room, it wasn't at the living room, it WASN'T ANYWHERE!" We started bickering about the watch, me saying that he could've thought OUTSIDE the box and not INSIDE, and him saying it's not his fault that playing 'I Spy' isn't his forte. After several minutes of bickering and Al holding Ed to keep him from attacking me, Winry hit us both with that huge ass wrench, pissed that we were fighting.

"OW! THAT HURTS YOU MECHANIC FREAK!"

"WINRY YOU ADDED ANOTHER BRUISE! MOTHERFUCKING FUCKER OF A COCKSUCKER! But I forgive you!~" I rubbed my head, feeling a bump grow each time I rub. Winry's wrench mysteriously disappeared and she began to rant.

"I'M NOT A MECHANIC FREAK, ALCHEMY GEEK! CAN YOU GUYS STOP FIGHTING?! I HAVE THE WATCH! IT'S RIGHT HERE IN MY POCKET! Jeez, you guys are like a married couple..." She pulled the watch from her skirt's pocket, dangling it in front of Ed's face. I raised my hand in a lazy way, saying 'OBJECTION!' like a robot.

"Objection. We're NOT like a married couple, we're more of a...brother-sister relationship. And definitely NOT like the 'incest is wincest' brother-sister." Ed quickly grabbed the dangling pocket-watch and stuffed it in his right pocket as Winry sighed and calmed down.

"Whatever you say. I finished cleaning and inspecting the baby, and it seems that he's perfectly healthy! He's now with Satera and Ridel, while the others left the room. Ah! I forgot to do something! I'll be-"

"Winry, if you're seeing Dominic, go tell him that the baby's here! It's to create a perfectly perfect atmosphere and perfectly perfect time to tell him! You go get him, girl!" She nodded confidently and ran off to go get Dominic, and I grinned as I fist-pumped the air, cheering Winry on. A few moments later I saw Winry and Dominic rush down the hallway, and when Winry zoomed past me she gave a wink and two-thumbs-up, hinting at her success of becoming Dominic's apprentice. As she went in, I saluted and gave her a smile, congratulating her on her success. When Winry came out moments later, we were hugging and squealing, well, SHE was squealing, on her success.

"He said YES! Well, he didn't say it but he hinted at it so I'm going to say that he said YES! EEEEEE! THANKS FOR THE ADVICE! EEEEEEEE!"

"Good for you! Congrats, Win Win! I'm proud...of...you...You're...squeezing...too...hard...Chest...hurts..." Winry, realizing what she was doing, let go immediately and apologized. Accepting her apology, I adjusted my bra and rubbed my breasts, feeling sore after that hug. Haruhi, I now understand your pain when felt during a Tamaki Hug.

"Winry, Squinty-Eyes, we can stop squealing and start meeting up with the others! It's getting late! We have to say goodbye!" I pouted and used my best puppy eyes on him, even though I DON'T have puppy eyes. Instead I traded the puppy eyes for my well-worked reverse psychology that worked on EVERYONE. Yep. Like one time I REALLY wanted that effing cute Rin Matsuoka plush for $16.49, my brother-in-law (yes I have one) said that he would buy it for me later on when my birthday rolled around. And hey! That was REALLY cheap! That was cheap considering it was imported from Japan! Humph!

"Fine, Edo-Kun, you can leave! Winry will just stay here and you'll NEVER EVER EVER see her again! I don't car-"

"That reverse psychology won't work on me! Al uses it one too many times to get strays!" I huffed, then laying on the floor grabbing his automail leg. Trying to shake me off, in the background you can see Al denying the fact he used reverse psychology, saying picking up stray cats were for the better of mankind. And yes Al, I agree. Only because of Ikuto. Damn Ikuto has that booty~

"GET OFF ME!"

"NO! NOT UNTIL YOU SAY WE STAY FOR DINNER!"

"NO! WE'LL JUST GET FOOD FROM THE INN!"

"THAT STUFF IS AS CHEAP AS CABBAGES FROM CABBAGE MAN!"

"NO NO NO! I SAID FUCKING NO SQUINTY-EYES!"

"DO YOU WANT WIN WIN TO HIT US AGAIN FOR FIGHTING?!" Ed became quiet soon after I said that, and I scoffed, letting go of his leg and getting up. Standing bright and tall, I puffed out my chest and looked at him in victory.

"Ed, I guess I win! Come on, don't feel down about it! You snapping out? Hello? HELLO? Sigh, I guess sexual harassment is the only way to go...So sorry Ed, Al, and all the peeps out there!" I winced and closed my eyes as I slapped his butt. Yes, I TOUCHED THE BUTT. I TOUCHED THE BOOTY. FINDING NEMO SCARED ME AS A KID. Shivering after I did that, Ed was frozen for a second before he started to yell at me again, saying that he would perform human transmutation when I die by his hands so that I would look ugly when I came back. Damn that sick burn doe.

"Ed Ed, calm down! You were unresponsive, so I decided to SLAP you out of it! get it? SLAP YOU OUT IF IT? It's funny, right? Right? Fuck, I'm just as bad as Chat Noir..." Ed, Al, and Winry were unimpressed and staring at me awkwardly as I laughed awkwardly. God, I'm so awkward...

"..."

"..."

"...Shut the hell up."

"Ahem! Why don't we go to the others now? We still have time before dinner, right? And oh okay yep..." After several minutes of staring at each other awkwardly, Ed sighed and started walking towards to where ever the others were. We started to follow him too, in REAL quiet silence. Breaking the ice, I was worried that they wouldn't forgive me. For...You know...Violating the guy...

"...You forgive me, right?" Silence responded instead. Sigh. This. Is. Going. To. Be. A. Long. Dinner. Slash. Day. Slash. Time.

~AFTER DINNER AND SEVERAL MINUTES BEFORE LEAVING~

"You guys...Forgive me? THANKS!" I glomped Ed, Al, and the rest, since apparently the rest found out somehow, excluding Paninya, Dominic, Satera, and Ridel. THANK GOD THEY FORGAVE ME OR ELSE I WOULD'VE BEEN IN JAIL. I think. ANYWAYS, after glomping all of them, Ed and Jaquelin were annoyed by my behavior, and Al and Winry were like 'yay? I feel good?' Nick, however...Snickers was embarrassed and blushed a bit, kinda because I don't glomp him as much. NOT THAT I MEAN THAT I GLOMP 24/7 OR ANYTHING! B-BAKA! Wrong time for tsundere Meicee? Yep, wrong time for tsundere Meicee.

"Hehe...Sorry...So! Nice meeting you Paninya, you were a bundle of sunshine! Dominic, keep that tsundere up and fangirl about your grandson! Ridel, tell Satera she's an amazing person that's now an AMAZING MOM! Also, keep being awesome! Your son is going to be a legend someday, I promise you! God, I sound like the overly-happy aunt..." I facepalmed at my own stupidity as Ridel patted my head and the others, but giving only Al a firm shake because well...you know...and Satera smiled at us while rocking back and forth in her rocking chair, holding her sleeping son.

"Meicee, Jaquelin, Winry, Ed, and Al, it's been a fun time meeting you guys! Come over tomorrow before you leave for Dublith! Group hug!" Paninya hugged all of us, suffocating Jaquelin who was in the middle. Slowly pulling away from the hug along with Ed and Jaquelin, Paninya beamed once more, then standing next to Dominic, who was watching his grandson dotingly, unlike how he acts towards us.

"Okay Paninya, but you have to promise NEVER EVER TO STEAL AGAIN! Whoa, we said it at the same time..." Syncing with Winry, I high-fived her for no reason at all except dat Hitachiin twins sync doe. Ed fumed up and took out his pocket-watch, hitting Winry and Paninya with it.

"AND THAT'S FOR STEALING AND OPENING MY POCKET-WATCH!" Wow. I guess that he can't ever hold it back. Winry and Paninya both rubbed their heads, with only Paninya apologizing like crazy. Winry, however...Yelled at Ed for hitting her, but soon apologizes because she understands why he got angry. Aww, so cute!~ I wish I have a camera right now!~ Yes, it's messed up to love one AND love their interactions with their wife/hubby, but it's like every fangirl with Usui Takumi. You get what I mean, right? Here's a mental picture! image/hn4y37xraqdxhvicoiy72usxzpegojp4_ Looks cute, right? But Usui looks hot even without Misaki! This is Fangirling 101! Okay, fine, I WON'T be a teacher later on in life! Humph!

"Ah! For delivering my son, each of you get a small piece of silver molded into a small spear! But you, Meicee, gets to name our son! Satera and I can't think of a name right now, so give us at least a name or two!" I stood there in shock and embarrassment as everyone looked at me like that one talent scout I met at Auntie Anne's. Yeah, so one time at Auntie Anne's I was with two of my three sisters eating a huge ass pretzel when suddenly a blonde woman came up to us and handed us a flyer. She was SO overly-happy and said 'if you come to this place tomorrow you'll meet EVERYONE from Disney Channel and get a chance to be a big star! The audition will be for Skippy's Peanut Butter and the real thing is for Disneyland!' Worse part? Made me say a line when I had a mouthful of pretzel. Like she told me to say it, and I was eating at the time. For FIVE SECONDS she was staring at me when I was chewing. FIVE SECONDS STARE. And then I said it and she left. I NEVER went to the place. Yep, awkward as HELL.

"Um...Uh...Shi-Shiz...I don't know...Rin? No...Ed? NO...Alphons? NOOOO...You want a foreign name or something common?" Ridel and Satera looked at each other and then their nameless son, and smiled at me.

"A unique name will do!" Okay! Shit...I know! Either Eren, Jean, or Chamoisee...Nope! Gonna be a lazy son of a bitch!

"I'll...Get back to you tomorrow if that's fine with you!"

"That's completely fine! Dad, where's the gifts you made?" Ridel looked at Dominic, who snapped out of his Grandfather Mode and picked his ear, flicking whatever's somewhere. Groaning as he walked somewhere else (I don't know the way around their house yet), he came out later with little sparkling replicas of what looks like a silver spoon? NICE REFERENCE TO ANOTHER ARAKAWA WORK THAT WASN'T INTENTIONAL IN ANOTHER ANIME REFERENCE! Crowding over the oldest tsundere around guy, we each picked one, with different designed on each one. Jaquelin got one with a pair of futuristic-looking Glasses on it, Al picked one with a suit of Armor on it, Winry got one with a steam Train on it, Nick got one with an automail Arm on it, and Ed got one with the Flamel symbol on it, leaving me with the one with a hybrid of a Phoenix and a water Dragon on the tip of the spoon.

"It looks cool, but...why glasses of all things?" Jaquelin questioned the decor on the end of the spoon, as I did too. Is it supposed to point out our only Megane Character besides Maes and Sheska? If so, that's racist to stereotypes in anime! RACIST!

"Well, irony is strong with this one...Oops, it's stuck to me now..." Not intending to make another metal joke, Al's spear then stuck on him, like a Statue of Liberty magnet on a fridge for a family of four.

"OH MAH GOD! IT HAS ONE OF THE NEW ADVANCED STEAM TRAINS ON IT THAT RUNS PARTLY ON ELECTRICITY ON THE TIP OF IT! EEEE!" Winry fangirled while she inspected the detailing on the train with a magnifying glass Paninya handed to her magically.

"This is cool looking! Since Jaquelin got glasses on hers, it must be suited for each of us!" Snickers, I once agree with you with something more logical than trying to ship you with Jackie. Yes, I shipped Jackie with Snickers. Now I ship him with Winry and Jackie with Al more than UPS ships my sister's useless clothes from Brooks Brothers.

"Hmm...It's cool and could be used in alchemy, but needs a bit of a makeover. BAM! Looks better!" Transmuting the poor spoon, he made it look like a gothic catastrophe, like if Stocking wasn't into sugar but Grandpa's ashes. Yeah. But I liked the shade of black he made it.

"Whoa...It's shiny and light like my flute...It's pretty...But why a phoenix and a dragon? It's doesn't make sense at all. No effing sense." I inspected the spoon, seeing that Dominic wasted NO TIME for laziness, getting in the tiniest of details such as the dragon's eyes. The dragon looked like Haku from Spirited Away, and the phoenix looked like the one I saw on the internet, the rainbow shuttershock one.

"Well, thanks for the gift, old man, we'll just be taking our leave now. Winry, we'll drop off your luggage tomorrow morning, so don't complain to me at midnight! Come on, we're going!" Ed exited, picking at his teeth as Al followed behind him, clanking awkwardly. Stopping after walking to the bridge, he put on his hood, then took out a HUGE blanket for Al to wear out of the essential supplies Al carries around in case of cute ass strays.

"What the hell?! Come on before the rain becomes a fucking storm again!" I sighed as I put on my hoodie, and Jackie zipped up her jacket as we waved a final goodbye before we left. Catching up to Ed and Al, Paninya comes out with a raincoat on, grinning as she does so.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be inside directing Winry?" Ed's voice growled a bit, making him clear his voice, sounding more high-pitched and like the devil-spawn of puberty. Paninya smiled, running ahead of us.

"Well, Po-Dominic was worried that you'll get injured and lost in the rain if it worsened like earlier, so he asked me to direct you to your inn, or at least the center of town! So here I am!" Paninya walked with us, and when we got to the bridge Al and Paninya created a safe path for us, making me less paranoid about falling to my death. I don't want to write this in the fucking rain in case I lose it and the effing raindrops, so I guess this is it for now.

~TWO TO THREE HOURS LATER~

"Well, I'm off now! See you tomorrow! Bye Meicee, Jaquelin, Ed, and Al! Good night!" Paninya waved as we watched her from outside the inn.

"Be careful! Bye Paninya!" Al waved as he holds onto his blanket, acting all motherly. After a few seconds Paninya was out of sight, we went in, and Ed signed in to the desk. After several minutes of awkward looking, Ed sighed as he slapped a few bills and a lot of coins before receiving two keys.

"The manager said that I can't take back the second room Winry reserved, so whoever wants that room can have it all or share it with Squinty-Eyes." As we trudged up the stairs I gave Jackie a smug look as she made the 'whatever' face.

"Jackie, you can have that room ALLLL to yourself, so we'll put Winry's luggage with you! I guess I'm with you guys!~" I chimed out of nowhere, as Ed groaned and Al disapproving of Ed's rudeness. Once we got to the room that I'm sharing, Ed told Jaquelin's room is two doors down and can come here if she needs anything. Jaquelin nodded and Al helped her with the luggage. After several minutes of settling in, we sat down, bored out of minds and not the slightest bit tired, despite it being 11:39.

"So...You taking a shower? I'm just taking a quick rinse and the normal stuff."

"What do you think? I've been sweating non-stop today! Sigh. I'm going to take it no-"

"NOPE! Taking a rinse!~ First come first serve bitch!" Running into the bathroom with Ed chasing me, I locked the door, with no available clothes except the ones I have on and whatever I had in hand, which was underwear and some shorts. After about ten minutes, I changed and did the normal routine shit the reader won't read this so fuck it. Coming out with only shorts and my bra on, both brothers blushed.

"W-What are you doing?!" I looked at Ed blandly, drying my hair.

"Uh getting my top? Hey stop looking at me like I have double Ds enough to power a battery! Winry wears a top like my bra allll the time AND has bigger honka honkas! So stop complai-I mean, blushing!" I was blushing too, but they were blushing more when I bent over and did that cute tsundere thingy mahjingy, making cleavage available and boob jiggle physics more realistic than your waifu body pillow.

"B-Back up Meicee! B-Back th-the hell u-up!"

"I-I agree with B-Brother! W-Wear a sh-shirt p-pl-please!" My eyes widen as I realize that Ed called me by my actual name, and I moved closer to him, smiling smugly like Mustang.

"What did you call me, hmm? You called me...Meicee? My my, I finally get some respect!~"

"N-Nothing! Get off me y-you g-girl!" After staring at my chest for a while, Ed quickly pushed me off him, resulting in me stumbling back, but thankfully Al caught me. After several seconds of awkward staring, Al pushed me off him, making me yelp and land flat on the floor. Pouting and glaring at them, I finally found my top I always wear to sleep, and Ed and Al stopped hyperventilating, finally calming down. Few awkward minutes past before Ed stood up, slightly blushing, walking in the bathroom with a towel and underwear in hand. Sitting on the bed, I decided to work on Sweet Dreams, Otaku, despite my hands sort of cramping.

~TIME TO GO TO SLEEPY POO~

"So...The only train to Dublith is overmorrow at 8:35? How long does it take?" Ed sighed as he looked up the ceiling, undoing his braid. Writing down more than I should, I closed my notebook, leaving it at the point when I objected Winry's comment about my relationship with Ed like a married couple. Or something like that.

"It takes around five to six hours from here to Central, so from here to Dublith is around two to three hours. Wait you still use the term 'overmorrow?' " The blonde stared at me like I was crazy for using a term that NO ONE USES since the 1800s, and yes, I AM crazy enough to do that!

"Yes, I still use a term that describes the day after tomorrow that has been dead for decades. Deal with it." I sighed as I lay back in bed, staring at the white concrete ceiling. After several minutes of lying in bed staring at the ceiling with the lamps on, I turned off my lamp, and Ed did too, with Al turning off the lights on the counter and bathroom. Sigh. I can't sleep despite alllll the walking we did today. Hell, I think we walked more today than the days I spent in France and Italy. Ahh, the times when I was staying at shitty four-star hotels in France. Good times, good times. I'm bored, Brain-Kun. Wait why are you a guy? Isn't my brain supposed to be a girl? So there was ONCE a better version of me taking control before I found anime, and that's where you come in? And also you're supposed to be the best version of allll my husbandos? Welp, should've known...

"Hey, you still awake?" I turned my head over to Ed, who holy shit looks so fucking cute like Armin! He looks like a gold tabby dog thingy so helpless! Awww! Ahem. Back to reality, Meicee. Back to reality.

"Umm...Yeah...Al's awake, too, from what I can hear..." Al's armor was creaking and groaning, probably because Al was walking around or something. I sighed and decided to turn on the lights, sitting on the bed.

"What are you doing?" Ed and Al looked at me like it wasn't obvious. Well, it wasn't obvious. My face beamed and just screamed 'crazy fangirl alert.'

"Isn't it obvious? Well, it is to me, duh. I'm going to tell you a story from my world! It has relatable characters, cool people, HUGE monsters, and just plain awesomeness and action! Want to hear it?" Ed and Al looked at each other, giving each other the look that people give when deciding.

"Sigh. Fine, but don't make it so that it'll make me regret meeting you like the...other time..."

"We'll be glad to hear it! I'm excited!" I sat up more, bouncing gleefully like a kid on sugar while watching Barney. Clapping my hands, I smiled and rocked back and forth.

"Okay! It's called Shingeki no Jyojin in Japanese, translation is originally The Attacking Titan, but it's mostly known as Attack on Titan due to a mistranslation! Okay! First chapter: To you, 2000 Years from Now: The Fall of Shiganshina, part 1! Starting off, a bunch of people from the Survey Corps swing through the air with 3DMG, clashing their blades with the gigantic monster known as a Titan..."

 **~Author's Note~**

 **I'm finally done!~ This was a LONG ASS chapter, and if you want I can write a side story for MEICEE'S STORY-TELLING of the beloved ATTACK ON TITAN! If you want me to, please say so! I'm also going to leave lots of Otaku News and Polls on my Google+, so be sure to check that out! Here's the link:**

 **u/0/b/108762702850516243955/108762702850516243955/posts/p/pub**

 **And I'm also going to be playing Cards Against Humanity TODAY, August 6, 2:00 US Pacific Time! The password is MEICEE, all caps! Remember, if you want to play a round or two with me remember these KEY POINTS!**

 **-AUGUST 6!**

 **-2:00! US PACIFIC TIME!**

 **-Password: MEICEE! (all caps and no exclamation point!)**

 **If you want to play a round or two of Cards Against Humanity with me remember those key points! If no one comes I'm going to LEAVE at 3:00! So remember if you want to play! This is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~**


	13. OMG! I GOT TATTOOS!

**~Announcement~**

 **Hey guys! Because this chapter is SUPER LONG (I think it is maybe the 2nd longest?) AND ONE OF THE DARKEST CHAPTERS I'VE EVER WROTE, I did some research and worked VERY LONG and HARD on this, so...Yay for perseverance! Anyways, thank you SpeakWhenItRains (she's SUPER awesome I checked out her stories and you should too!) for the helpful feedback! Also if you guys want (NICK RESPOND AT SCHOOL OR SOMETHING IDK) I can make a collection of side stories for Sweet Dreams, Otaku! like a New Year's one when Meicee is trying to find the best root beer in town (a tradition I do every year on New Year's while Anime and Chillin with my plushies), a Christmas special when Ed and Meicee aren't freaking out (well, Meicee MIGHT freak out due to Dec. 25 being Levi Ackerman's B-Day..), a time when Meicee brings everyone together to do some kareoke for fun (trust me she has songs planned out ahead of time :P), just anything, then let me know! Anyways, I just finished watching 91 Days and omfg, it could be TOTES a dating visual novel!~ Ugh, and that's what I think when I watch a dark and action-packed anime?**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist, but I DO own myself, my 8.5 inch Rin Matsuoka plush that costed $16.49, my laptop covered in Pokemon stickers, the Grell Sutcliffe keychain that's $6.99 that one of my not-so-close-because-they-ain't-The-Chainsmokers friends gave me FOR FREE (MAKE US FREE NA SPLASH KASENETA~~), those awesome FMA fan art prints (NICK THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVING ME DEM BABIES IDK WHAT TO DO SO THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO YOU I GUESS), and my awful art project about perspective featuring the Elric brothers in South City Headquarters. :P**

 **Warning: Sigh. Kirito, take it away! (Kirito: Ahem. Have you ever thought the openings to Boku no Pico were good?) Yes. (Kirito: Or have you ever felt tired after walking to the fridge?) Yes! (Kirito: Then you're just like 99.9% of the rest of the people, AKA idiots! Luckily for me I'm-) I TOLD YOU NOT TO ADVERTISE! (Kirito: Yeah yeah whatever bitch face. Sigh. Anyways, I'm the on-) (Asuna: WE HAVE A RAID IN 5 MINUTES! WHO'S THIS GIRL?! DID YOU BRING ANOTHER CONCUBINE IN HERE AGAIN?!) Hello! My name's Author Lady, and-(Kirito: N-No! I swear! I'm just...helping her!) (Asuna: Sure...Ugh. Why did I marry you again?) (Kirito: ...Sigh..One night stand..) (Asuna: Ugh, whatever...I'll beat your head in later..) (Kirito: Whew..) (Asuna: *drags Kirito out of the room*) (Kirito: I'M NOT EVEN DONE! WHY ARE YOU GOING TO BEAT MY FUCKING HEAD IN?!) (Asuna: I changed my mind. *beats Kirito's head in*) Uh...Um...Something Witty Entertainment, you guys are awesome! Thanks for inspiring my jokes and shit! Anyways, onto the chapter!**

 **~_!_~**

"Sein ihr das essen nein sie die..oh wait..it was nein wind sie die Jaeger..ugh...new song to sing while pooping...uh...Sugar Song and...urgh! Poop! Goddamit poop...And Bitter Step..." I squeezed out the last brown log, "ahhing" of content. What? It's not weird! It's normal! I stood up, wiping my arsehole with some toilet paper and flushing the toilet, making the toilet paper and logs of doom swirl until they disappeared. I sighed depressingly because of how bad the after-smell was, and to be honest I kinda like smelling disgusting smells, but this smell...it was a depressing atmosphere of poopy auras, if that makes any sense. I washed my hands at the sink with the lemongrass soap that the inn provided, which smells LIT AF btw, and walked out, seeing a pissed-off Ed with his braid half-done and a sweatdropping Al.

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THERE?! YOU WASTED 20 MINUTES IDIOT!" I sheepishly rubbed my neck, kind of feeling bad that I took a long poop even though it wasn't my fault. Hey, it gets pretty scary having your favorite anime character yell at you, ESPECIALLY if they hate you. A LOT. It's kinda depressing, actually. You love them and they hate you? I can't take it anymore, but I'm pretty sure he loves/hates me. As friends, dumbass!

"B-Brother, don't yell at Meicee! She has reasons for taking so long, right?"

"Huh? Me? Um...uh...Yeah! I was taking a dump! Honestly! Please believe me?" Ed glared at me, walking angrily in the bathroom, and I sighed sadly. Al put his cold ass hand on my shoulder, making me flinch a bit.

"Don't worry Meicee, Brother is usually cranky in the morning, so please excuse him for that. He'll warm up to you eventually!" I looked up at the opposite of Ed, AKA his younger brother, smiling weakly. I knew he was trying to me me feel better and Ed doesn't really HATE me (hopefully), since on several occasions he DID give us 8,000 Cenz, which is like $800, he bought me that iced tea when we first arrived in Rush Valley, survived my torture chamber with complaint level 0.1234%, forgave me for sexually harassing him, and really he never honestly got mad at me. That concludes my essay. Okay, FINE, maybe he DOES hate me, but I could care less. I have PLENTY of people to get it on with, like Ling, Al, that doctor guy, and unfortunately I have to say it or else I won't get da views, Nick. So I have a variety of choices, along with the Usagi Drop options: Mustang, Havoc, or Fuery! So that concludes-what the hell am I saying?...

"Thanks Al, but I just have to say he most likely hates me and my sciencey pick-up lines.."

"Sciency pick-up lines?"

"Well yeah! Like "if you were oxygen then I wish I was alkali metal that way I can get inside you and explode" and "are you copper and titanium because you're a CuTi" or one of my personal favorites "you can put your stirring rod inside my beaker" if you know what I mean!" I didn't come up with those, of course..hehe..." Al seemed to blush at my dirty pick-up lines, and silence enveloped the whole room for minutes. Well, shit. Wait a minute. He got my jokes. HE GOT MY JOKES! OMFG BREAKING NEWS ALPHONSE ELRIC IS NOT INNOCENT! I REPEAT, HE'S GUILTY AS CHARGED! Ahem. Sorry. To break the silence, I finally moved and organized my stuff, looking at the clock which clearly states 9:34. Cool. Ed soon came out of the bathroom with his braid less messy and his face (which is dotted with few pimples and a crooked, greasy nose by the way) more...refreshing looking I guess? Like he has some bags under his eyes, most likely from not being able to sleep from those nightmares, and his ears are a bit big for his facial structure...No way! I'm thinking wayyyy too much! If I think negatively, then my crush for him will die down instantly! Actually, I think it already did, with him being in the same room as me alive and in the flesh...

"Hey, HEY! SQUINTY-EYES! WE'RE LEAVING! Fucking hell, pay attention..." I looked around the room, finally laying eyes on Ed and his sour-puss self near the door, his infamous red coat with the Flamel sign on it halfway on. Al politely opened the door as I quickly grabbed my notebook, the spoon, and my sweatshirt, rushing out the door to Jaquelin's room. Knocking on her door loudly, Ed and I stood impatiently, well HE stood impatiently while I stood there awkwardly, as we waited for Jaqueln to answer. After another round of impatient knocks, Jaquelin finally opened the door, still clad in her sleepwear.

"Mmm...Edwa-Um Ed, Meicee, Alphonse, why are you guys up so early?..." I could see Ed's tiny temple pop as Jaquelin replied sleepily, which is pretty OOC if you ask me. Ed and morning? They go together like water and oil, homework and YouTube, yaoi and yuri. In other words, they NEVER mix. Gosh, how many OOC moments are there in this world?!

"Early?! EARLY?! IT'S AROUND 9:35! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG TO OLD MAN DOMINIC'S PLACE?! 1 HOUR! 1 HOUR!" Jaquelin wiped Ed's spit off her face groggily with the back of her hand, adjusting her cool-ass glasses and wiping the lens with a robe? When did she-oh well, don't question reality and start sinning everything, Meicee. You need to be imaginative and open, not realistic and boring.

"Hm? Okay...I'll get..Yawn...ready...it's going to take only...mhmmm...10 minutes..." Jaquelin walks back into her room, in which was really neat except for like 37% of it, covered in clothes, toiletries, and various supplies scattered all around. We followed her in, with me sitting on the extra bed and bouncing like an idiot, Al standing normally, and Ed sitting in the hotel chair, slouching and sitting VERY VERY casually. Like so casual his...cuCUMber/sword/stirring rod/you get the POINT can be seen, and I don't know how, like if it's a white people thing or "it's anime bruh" or whatever, but it's like huge. Like HUGE. I'm going with my second guess. Okay. Don't stare at him, stare at the bathroom door that's completely white and is hiding Jackie. Don't stare at him. Don't stare. Don't stare don't stare don't stare don't-

"Hey Squinty-Eyes, we gonna go eat at Dominic's and then we can go around town or something. What do you want to do?" SHIT. I froze and slowly turned my head, not bouncing on the fluffy but not really bed. Facing Ed, I attempted to not stare at the Sunny but not really-D by looking out the window, but the sun was too bright so I'm now back at Square 0. Fan fucking tastic. I stared down at my lap, trying to avoid eye contact without being rude as hell.

"Hello? Hey, answer!" I looked up and stared at his cowlick, trying to distract myself by making many many theories. How does the thing stick up? Does he bleach his hair? Will he eve-Oh. Right. Answer the goddamn question, Meicee.

"Um..uh...Well...I don't know...Whyareyouaskingmeyouidiot?!"

"Because everyone's bored as hell and the train's tomorrow?" My face flushed a bit, and I wiggled over to the pillows on the bed, throwing a fluffy one at Ed. He seemed a bit annoyed, but more so confused like Al. Poor Al. He never gets any action. ANYWAYS!

"What the hell?! Why did you throw a pillow at me you idiot?!"

"Um...Because I thought that you needed more comfort in that chair?"

"...Bullshit."

"B-Brother! Meicee is trying to be nice!" My voice cracked a bit, and I cleared my throat several times as Ed didn't take my excuse/lie and Al trying to defend me like the cute lil Makoto-like complex or whatever I was saying something to do with Mako my hubby-complex brother. Okay. Well shit. Plan A didn't work. Time for Plan B. And Plan B was what, Meicee? Oh, EXCUSE ME for not coming up with another plan, MEICEE. Shut up Meicee! No you shut up! Guys guys, can we solve this by talking it o-HELL TO DA FREAKING NO! GUYS! WE ARE NOT GOING NIGAHIGA SKITZO HERE NOR MAKE A REFERENCE TO OCTOPIMP'S 50% OFF'S HARU! Fine. FINE! Thank you, Meicee. You're welcome, Girly Meicee, Momma Meicee, and Thug Meicee!

"Okay. I'm ready to go! Uh what-...Never mind.." Jaquelin eyed us weirdly as she finished her sentence, especially towards me and Ed, since I was in the far corner of the room trying to escape my dilemma, and Ed, who was about to throw the pillow back at me. We soon left the hotel room with Winry's luggage and a few personal belongings that we carry. Well, Jaquelin barely has any and her glasses don't count. Like she just carries around a hair tie and that's it. I, however, carry around my notebook, now the spoon, a hair tie (I never do but hey things change), and obviously a pen. Ed...I seriously don't know. Besides his pocket-watch and probably some oil for his automail, I think that's about it...Oh yeah! And Al doesn't carry around anything. Duh. Oh yeah. Should really consider timeskips. TIMESKIP FEATURING GOLDEN TIME LOVER BY SUKIMA SWITCH!~

~2-4 HOURS LATER~

"Thanks for coming with me to get some supplies! I appreciate it!"

"No problem, Snickers!" I was helping mah homie (I'm running out of words halp) carry some stuff for Dominic (ie. tools, scraps, groceries, etc.), along with Jackie, who was also helping. Ed and Al carried some stuff they bought for themselves, like automail oil, some food for the road, and shockingly Ed bought something that I wanted: a silver necklace that has the word "Rush Valley" in cursive on the tab, and on the back the letter "M." Now listen here, you reader punks, especially you, NICK, I know that I'm in a Gintama situation right now and breaking the 4th wall everyday, and I'm a HUGE SUCKER for those gift shops with those cheesy ass crystal rocks for $5.99 each and "Limited edition: Arizona Cards" for $3.50! And you know what I did right after Ed gave the cashier 450 Cenz? I glomped him. I GLOMPED ED ELRIC. A STEP CLOSER TO GETTING ME TO SECOND BASE. SUCK IT YOU FANGIRL BITCHES. Actually, that's mean. I take that back. Ahem. A step closer in our relationship. GG Edward Elric fangirls. More proper? Thanks. I worked hard on it.

"So do you guys just want to eat out? I mean, we'll all die before we even get to Dominic's!"

"Hell no, Squinty-Eyes! I already wasted so much money buying supplies and your dumb-ass necklace!" I pouted a bit, feeling annoyed that we couldn't eat out, but soon got over it. I mean, Satera makes a MEAN salad, and I don't usually like salads and healthy shit. But I want to eat more..."traditional food." Like I mean, Amestris must have some food that's not in our world that's like the bomb. I want to experience the cultures and food before we return back to our world through the Gate or whatever like every other fanfic out there! I'm not like a "tourist person" like my parents (no seriously we were gonna go to Vietnam, Thailand, and Singapore for ze winter until I FREAKING GOT INTO THIS WORLD), but this is an anime world. Anything anime I would go CRAZY over.

"B-Brother! Meicee's necklace is really nice! You should act nicer to our guests!" Ed looked almost fed up with our weird ass bullshit, and A LOT of people were staring at us, mostly because Jaquelin and I are "Xingnese" and Ed has some anger issues, which I understand because of his past and all. I'm still kinda pissed at Ed for his behavior towards me, but..I'm not an angry person. I'm chill but if you really piss me off...you should start running. And if I cry while I'm pissed off...run with a gun in hand. Trust me. I'm not good at running but I can sure as hell outrun you if I'm like that.

"Al it's fine! I understand, he thinks I'm annoying and ugly and a shitty guest and I respect that! I know that I piss off A LOT of people with my personality, I know I have flaws and that you had a shitty past, so I...I..Excuse me.." For some reason around the time I said that I was shitty and stuff I had a frog in my throat and I couldn't make the words come out of my mouth, and eventually I broke down and tears formed in the corners of my Asian eyes. I ran off with the the bags of supplies in hand several blocks back, and I knew that EVERYONE was staring at me, but I didn't care. I'll block them out. I'll block them out like I always do.

"Meicee..you fucking messed it up..you cried..in front of..your friends..and most of all..the Elrics..you're a failure..." I muttered such words as these along with some curses in-between my pants from running and some crying. I messed it up. Everything. I regret coming into this world. I want to go back, but..I'll mess it up anyways. I mess everything up. I promote too much self-hate, but this is true..my ugly Asian-ass appearance..my annoyingness..my fangirling...it pisses everyone off. I don't care if I go through depression again. As long as I feel guilty and until I feel I redeemed myself, this is okay. Suffering like this is okay. People have been through worse than me.

"Miss, we're closed. Miss? Hello Miss? I said we're closed!" I glared at the store owner(?) of the bookstore that I wandered in by "accident" through my tears, ignoring him. I muttered some curse words and started browsing through the fiction section, trying to get my mind off of the Mary-Sue thing I did that I would NEVER do in 9,000 years and beyond. I mean, I would never act this rude towards strangers and friends, but..I'm in a pissy mood and I had enough of Ed's bullshit. I regret wishing to come here. I regret it all.

"Miss, I demand you to leave the store immediately and come back during business hours! I'm on a tight schedule here and I cannot have customers here during closing hours! Please, I order you to leave, Miss!" Then why was the fucking door unlocked, bitch?! I slammed "The Legend of Brink: Act II" shut, placing it on the bookshelf in a rude manner. Shoving my fugly hands in my pockets, I flipped off the store owner secretly, whisper-mumbling horrible things about her that may or may not be true. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw something in the back counter move. I nervously looked at the store owner and back at the moving thing. No. No. No..Something is very wrong here. Very, very, VERY wrong.

"...You. Ma'am. I demand I see what's in the back."

"Customers cannot order me to do such things! Please come back later!" Tears fell on my face again, and raising my head, I scowled at the store owner, with my eyes showing fear, anger, and hints of confidence. I can do this. I'll be silent and demanding, just like how it was 9 years ago when I stood in the closet for 8 hours because of my fucking dad. I can do this. Let's go.

"..I said..I said I want to see what's in the back! You can't stop me! I just want a flipping book!" She rolled her eyes at me, most likely because I was acting rude as hell. Fuck you. And that was half-truth. She sighed loudly, echoing through the room a bit.

"I can go get the book for you and hold it for you, and then you can come back during business hours, OKAY MISS? Now which one do you want?"

"...I want a hardback copy of Pandora Hearts." Using my famous "lying tactics" her mouth squirmed into a confused frown, cocking her head slightly at an angle of 85.7 degrees. And I know that this world DOES NOT have Pandora Hearts, AKA one of the best Alice in Wonderland adaptations I've seen so far.

"I don't suppose we have this...'Pandora Hearts' here, MISS. Anything else?" Okay lady. I'm tired of your BS of emphasizing "miss" when referring to me and acting all bitchy. Just because I'm in a bad mood and I'm a bit shy does not mean you can be the same way too. Ever heard of FRIENDLY customer service?

"C-Can you at least go c-check? Besides, what is this place called and the slogan?" This is lying tactic #2: Pull a Volume 2 RWBY Emerald stunt. By the way, Ren=MINE. Jaune...it depends..heuhuehue..Ooh I'm already in a better mood! Great. *sarcasm*

"This bookstore of mine is called...Sylvia's Book Nook. The slogan is...the slogan is 'A nook that holds every book found in every crack and crook!' " I stared at her suspiciously while glancing back at the business card in my pockets that I pick-pocketed from her big ass pockets, and even though that name and slogan is pretty awesome, it was a COMPLETE LIE. And yes, I'm not a pro at pick-pocketing, but I'm pretty damn good for a normal "Xingnese" girl. Hard work from 5th grade with stealing everyone's erasers and pens payed off! And yes, I gave them their supplies back like how Robin Hood gave the poor their money back.

"..Lies. Your business card says...your bookstore is in fact...not a book nook. It's a black market book trade that sells various ancient scriptures from decades ago, such as "The Tell-Tale Heart" by Edgar Allan Poe." I attempted to smirk coolly though my nervousness, and yes, I lied, using a tactic Riza Hawkeye used to see if Envy was disguised as Colonel Mustard or not. Wait. Oh shit. Please let this be a random stranger that I pissed off and I'll never ever EVER see again...

"P-Preposterous! Th-That's a-a misprint!" I heard some scratching coming from the back-counter, and a moan for help that sounds strangely similar to the lady I'm talking to now. I backed away from the lady, eyeing the door and the strange lady nervously.

"...N-No..Th-There's no m-mistake, is th-there...E-Envy?.." I smirked nervously, and my heart felt as though it was gonna pound right out of my chest and "nope" it's way to a new owner. What up Cowboy Bebop reference?..The lady smirked menacingly, changing into Envy in an instant, with all the cool changing particles and shit happening. No..No...Nononononononononono...I still have anime, manga, and fanfiction to finish and I need to make up for that embarrassing scene earlier...I can't die now...No..Please..

"Heh, seems you found me out, little girl! You know the penalty when someone finds out, little girl?~" He licked his lips like a pedophile on the move, and I couldn't move. I couldn't even breathe without fearing for my life. I can't die..No..I can't move..And when I talk nothing comes out, just silent prayers to the gods that I'll survive...I'm fucked...

"...A-...A-A..Hah-..." He laughed at my attempt to speak, and his eyes describe him as a crazy maniac, reminding me of that "Asuna scene with rapey Sugou." I gulped, and no saliva went down my throat, only dehydrated air. I could hear my heart pounding like a hammer hammering a hard-to-hammer nail that's completely new but slightly rusted on the circle part. Tears streamed down my tiny ass face as he cornered me in the fiction section, dimming the lights, locking the door, and closing the blinds. I grasped onto a thinly-paged book like it was the ultimate shield, bracing myself for the worse. The pain I received was worse than I had in mind.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH! UPGGGGRRH! AEHHAHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed in the most disgusting way possible, deafening myself. Envy was making do with a bookshelf, hitting my arms until my bones break int tiny pieces and make my bony arms twist and turn in impossible feats. I NEVER gotten a broken bone, so this pain...this pain was new to me. Splinters from the now broken bookshelf stuck to parts of my arms, digging deep into my skin and piercing it with every hit the palm tree has done. Bleeding a thousand oceans and lakes, I couldn't feel my arms anymore. Only everlasting numbness and pain worse than an ass-whooping with a clothes hanger from your mom when you ripped apart your birth certificate. I squinted down to my arms, which looked more like squiggly lines and human noodles than actual arms. I hissed loudly as my tears feel on the cuts made from the splinters, making the cuts more vibrantly red, while Envy laughed sadistically as he grabbed a chair and started hitting my legs. I could see parts of my bone almost sticking out from the sides, and my arms felt soft, almost like it was almost but not really grains of wheat that's made into flour, and in Chinese _"chui chui de,"_ which made me feel a bit dizzy.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! HUMANS ARE SUCH WEAK PATHETIC BEINGS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" He had this crazed look in his eyes, as if he was enjoying every single moment of this and not letting a drop go to waste. I suddenly dropped down on my knees, which was cruelly painful for me, making a loud "crack!" sound near my knees. I wailed like a banshee and tried to cover my head with some books as Envy hit my back with the chair, making bear-like claw marks on my back and tearing my newly-bought clothes. I blared out a pattern of blood-curling screams, getting louder with each one, hoping that someone or something will hear me from outside despite the commotion. Nothing. Nothing for god-knows-how-long. The actual store owner laid dead behind the back-counter, and I felt as though during her last moments she stared at me, trying to warn me of the dangers. It's too late now Ma'am. I'm sorry. No one will be able to save me now. I regret coming here. I regret being born. I'm sorry for being such a failure, mom, dad. I'm sorry for being an annoying ass, rude, and weird brat brother, sisters. I'm sorry for acting rude towards you brother-in-law, sister's boyfriend. I'm sorry for not giving you guys anything for your birthdays or anything, friends. I'm sorry for my annoying habits and sayings, world. I'm sorry. This is the end.

"AHHHHHHH-Ah..A-A...A...Mm..n..." My screams died down as I lost my voice right after I lost the will to move. Hmm. This actually feels nice. Is this what it feels to die? I saw a bright whitelight flash in the distance. The pain stopped. Mmm. Is this what it feels like to be in God's warm light? I'm sorry for being an atheist, God. I suppose converting to Christianity won't be that bad after all. I heard some girlish screams and cries of agony for a few minutes, soon followed by the loudest scream ever, and then complete silence except for a chair slamming into my body. I opened my eyes slightly, seeing the store in a wreck and a limpy body in front of me, which was missing an arm and a pool of metallic blood was surrounding him/her. The blood soon got to my face, and I licked it off my lips with my last portion of energy that was fading into oblivion. Mmm. A metallic snack before my death. My head soon fell limp and hit the ground with slight force, covering my entire face with red milk. Sadistically disgusting screams and laughs could be heard. The noise soon died down until something made a bell sound. _Ring. Ring._ I heard bells chime not far from me, and a bright, middle sky blue light with some crackles of lightning(?) was seen and heard in an instant. Is this God calling out to me? Take me God, to the place where never-ending peace is found. Take me to the place where I could be with Gabriel. Eros. Apollo. Hestia. Take me.

~SOMETIME LATER WHEN MEICEE AND THE MYSTERY GUY/GIRL/ALIEN IS PRESUMABLY 69% DEAD, HALF-DEAD, ALREADY DEAD, OR DEAD DEAD~

(AKA HELL. OR HEAVEN. DEPENDS. :P)

Yawn. Is this place heaven? Seems so. I don't feel extreme suffering nor pain. I feel warm. Really warm. And a bit itchy. Yeah, itchy is a way to describe heaven. Who knew? When I reached out to scratch my arm, I felt as though time has stopped. As though I couldn't move like I was one of Medusa's bishonen statues. Oh well. Is there anime? There better be. Huh? What is this sensation like I'm about to wake up to go to school in the morning? Oh well. As long as it leads me to either fucking anime or a back-scratcher, then I'm chill with it.

"...OH MY GOD! MEICEE! YOU-OH MY GODDDD! I WAS LIED TO YOU ARE AN IDIOT YOU KNOW THAT?!" I was greeted with tears of joy(?) from a sobbing megane that was sitting next to my bed. Me being confuzzled, I replied with a small "glasses crying? toothbrushes...idiots bananas.." I tasted the flavor in my mouth, which was HELLA BAD bed-breath. You know, the breath when you wake up? Yeah, just imagine that but like you didn't brush your teeth AT ALL for WEEKS. I looked around and I'm in a hospital?...AND I'm in a BODY CAST?! THEY USED THIS SHIT IN THE 1900s?! Well, it's not accurate unless I'm a stupid fuck but whatever. History doesn't apply to anime. Unless it's Hetalia. Then again, Hetalia didn't even apply to history and just made fun of it...

"IT'S ME! DON'T YOU REMEMBER?! I'M JAQUELIN!"

"Jaquelin.." I closed my eyes tiredly, getting a slight migraine from Jackie yelling out of pure excitement. She seems as though I pulled a red herring on her, and I did. I think. I'm too lazy to think right now.

"Yes?"

"Please shut your mouth. I'm getting a headache. Sorry. Ugh god...Feel like crap.." I groaned of discomfort of the itchy ass body cast and the position my limbs were in. Good God.

"Well..whatever..I'll be right back to call the others in." I muttered "others?" as in which to ask her, but she didn't hear my question. Who are the others? Mom? Dad? Classmates from school? With silence in the room except for my stomach growling of hunger, I laid for seconds on the 'white as fuck bed that has questionable yellow stains' without talking until Jaquelin entered the room with-OHMYFUCKINGGODITSFUCKINGEDDDDD! ED ED ED E-Oh..He's just another pubescent German boy...But he's kinda cute..Yup. I'll tap that ass.

"MEICEE! Er, sorry..Meicee! You're alive! Thank god! We were all so worried that you might've die and-" Al seemed a bit dented from some sides, and rusted like hell in the crevices between his shoulder blades and the head piece. His prepubescent 5-year old voice echoing inside his armor made me crack a smile from how cute that was.

"Oh my god..Meicee...Pops, Satera, and Ridel will cry their eyes out when they find out that you're alive and well! Pops and I were praying all day and night that you'll come back to us, and you did! Sorry for cutting you off, Al..Hehe..Old habit of mine.." Paninya awkwardly wiped her tears and apologized to Al, who was completely chill, reassuring that everyone's excited to see me alive and want to give me their fucking sob-story on how they weren't okay and then they met God's angels and BAM! WHOOSH! CREEK! ONOMATOPOEIA! I'm alive. I hate those sob-stories, but actually seeing people worry for me...it's kinda cute in a fluffy way when they're not taking your question of "if I die, will you come to my funeral?" as a joke and responding sarcastically.

"Squinty-Eyes...I'm...I'm glad that you're alive...I'm sorry that I..treated you that way..It's just..I'll tell you later..." Ed. Oh Ed Ed Eddie-o. He..He was a wreck. I mean, not like "FULL BODY CAST HELL YEAH!" wreck, but like "I broke an arm, got a few scars, and some bruises, that's all hehe" wreck. Yeah. Oh yeah, his arm? His hand is missing, most likely being repaired by one of the automail geniuses right now, and bandages around his head, bruises in weird spots, and an arm cast like usual. Me...Fucking full body cast.

"Heh..It's cute..cute how everyone's worried..By the by, where's the nurse?"

"Bathroom break."

"Ah..I see Jackie..T-Th-Th-ACHHOOO! Sniffle...Sniffle sniffle...Jesus Christ, don't I ever get a break? Thanks Jackie...Oh yeah, I'm hungry and itchy. Itchy AF. Ooh this gives me a good idea! I can use this traumatic as fuck experience in a fanfic! Yes yes YES! Huehuehue..." The armor, the glasses, the pickpocket, and the alchemist all stared at me in awe, thinking of how I could be so chill when I had an almost near-death experience, while I laughed awkwardly at my own stupidity. But no seriously, in this situation I was worried about good fuud, so much itchiness that Scratchy couldn't un-itch, and using this experience to bring a good message across and in my fanfics?! What is wrong with me...

"Meicee. You do realize you SURVIVED a NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE and all you're thinking about is YOUR FANFICTION STORIES?!"

"...Yes." I stared blandly at Jackie, who was fuming all sorts of steam that even the Colossal Titan would be jelly. WHAT UP ATTACK ON TITAN REFERENCE! Hell yeah, I still got my game even when I'm critically injured! Fuck yeah!

"...I seriously don't get what's going on in your mind..."

"Hehe, nor do I! Oh yeah, how long have I been out?"

"Meicee..you've...been out for a week.." My eyes popped out of my sockets as soon as I heard "a week." A WEEK?! NONONONO! IT'S A DELAY FOR MY MISADVENTURES AND FANFICS AND MORE TIME I HAVE TO SPEND HERE SO I'LL GET HOME LATER THAN EXPECTED! You..You motherfucking..Fuck you time. Fuck you.

"A FUCKING WEEK?! YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?! Sigh...you've GOT to be bloody joking..I'm so behind on my schedule..Er, don't mind the schedule part, hehe.." Hmmm...I feel like someone's missing...Mmm...I could go for some candy right now, like some Starburst, Pocky, Choco-Pie, Kit-Kats...mmmm...OH MY KAMISAMA KISSU YATO GODS I AM A WEEB! SNICKERS! NICCKKKK! Nononononononono...please please PLEASE don't pull a Yang on me..

"Uh, where's Nick? Lemme guess, bathroom break?" I scoffed playfully, though my mood ain't no playful mood right now. Ed, Al, and Paninya stared at me in confusion, like they don't know what 'bathroom' m-Oh. Oh yeah! In this one fanfic I forgot the name of, the MC was like "I'm gonna use bathroom" and Ed was like "Bathroom?" and the MC was like "Washroom?" and the Edo was like "Huh?" and then the MC was like "Forget it!"

"...About that..."

"Oh bathroom? The word that the lower class uses? Yeah..um..Hehe.."Jaquelin and Paninya both looked A LOT down, and yup. I'm pretty sure Nick pulled a Yang, AKA an Ed, AKA a Darth Vader, AKA an Ash Williams, AKA a Zephyr. Okay, if you don't get ANY of those references...tsk tsk. You got some catching up to do. Basically all of those characters they share one thing in common: THEY LOST AN ARM. Mhm. Welll...Snickers DID want a prosthetic arm because he thought it was "cool" in school, and now he got his wish, so..it's kind of a win-win? Oh and RWBY fans, Ren is MINE. M-I-N-E. He ain't nobody's Chinese male Mulan hoe 'cept mine! JK JK, I'm all bark and no bite, LOL..But seriously, he mine.

"...Sigh. Lemme guess. He's not the fish from SpongeBob that went 'My leg!' but instead Fish #34 in the background that went 'My arm?' " Again everyone except Jaquelin didn't get my reference to one of the most immature shows on Nickaloedeon but somehow knew what I was hinting at. Okay so MAYBE Jackie didn't watch a lot of SpongeBob and didn't get it but you guys get my point.

"...Yes. And Meicee Oceana Hui-Fang I swear you need to stop joking around during a serious situation!" I sweatdropped hard, awkwardly apologizing and mumbling that I was trying to lighten up the mood when it gets dark. I'm the jokester of the group, and I'm like "yo bruh dare me something and it cannot be super dumb" and when they're like "I dare you to quack like a chicken in front of the cows" I'm like "bruh I said no super dumb dares" and instead I go make out with someone while eating tacos on top of Mount Everest. Yeah. I'm that kind of person.

"Um..So when am I getting dispatched?"

"The doctors say a month, so I'm going back to Central to see if the Bastard has any side-missions for me." My eyes popped out again, jaw dropping to as low as it can go, and it's not low.

"A MONTH?! A FUCKING MONTH?! Fuck man, I can finish A TON of books in 1 MONTH!" Ed scowled at me, but soon regained his calmness and sighed.

"Hey! You should be glad you didn't break your back and mostly your arms and legs! It's not like I enjoy it either! Me and Al both have to act as your bodyguards until we finish...whatever this mission is!"

"Brother, it's AL AND I, not ME AND AL..."

"Tch. Whatever Al..Sigh..Your boyfriend Nick's gonna be dispatched soon, few days after Winry and the old man's gang make some finishing touches to the arm and attached it. Somehow the old man changed the doctors' minds of letting the time spent here from a year to just several days." My face flushed with embarrassment, and Jackie coolly grinned at me, since she and apparently like 10 OTHER PEOPLE ship me with Nick. Hell, there's even a ship name as stupid as 'Mick!' Brain-Kun, activate Tsundere Meicee Mode!

"B-Boyfriend?! Yeah right! Snickers's just a really really REALLY close guy-friend of mine, that's all! No seriously, we no date. And Jaquelin, get that smug ass look off your face! Sorry! Anyways! What, were you jealous or something hmm?~~" Hey who let Flirty Meicee Mode on?! Brain-Chan's back?! Oh hell no...Instead of my face, male Elsa's face flushed redder than Spain's tomatoes when ripe and ready to harvest. And yeah. Nick and I were SO CLOSE that HE even started doubting if I liked him or not! Turns out we both liked the same girl and SHE FUCKING MOVED! I regretted not confessing to her, since she baked REALLY GOOD desserts, was really nice, and she watched a bit of anime AND was the FIRST PERSON to not just tolerate my weirdness, but JOIN IN on the weirdness! Ahh, she was so nice..

"J-Jealous?! W-Who's j-jealous?! I w-was j-just-"

"Hehe, it's cute how you get flustered like that! I was just joking! And did anyone forget that I wanted food? I demand food immediately! Also, I'm craving chocolate pudding, some roast beef, and a nice tall glass of iced tea! Oh oh don't forget that I hate mushrooms, eggplants, squash, and milk! Thanks!~" I grinned like when I heard that dinner on Monday we're going to a Korean BBQ place, and all of them bought my cheerfulness like it was some sort of popular Christmas gift. Paninya almost in an instant went out the door, getting to get me lunch. The others, however, stayed in my room and we made a few bits of small-talk here and there, but mostly I was hearing both views of Al's and Jaquelin's sob-stories while Ed tuned them out, slightly blushing at my blunt comment. In reality, however...it was quite the opposite. I was distressed and depressed, scarred that Envy, one of my FAVORITE anime characters, almost killed me. I felt guilty that Nick got his arm pulled off, and I felt guilty for deceiving the others to thinking I was dead as a door nail. I was scared. I am still scared. And I don't want to die.

~2 MONTHS LATER BECAUSE SOMEHOW THE DOCTORS MISCALCULATED THE DISPATCH BY 1 FUCKING MONTH~

"Ahh, it feels good not to be itchy 24/7 and now I can continue writing!~" I stretched happily, throwing and catching the spoon Dominic gave us 2 months back. In the hotel room, Ed has the tickets to Dublith (btw the train was tomorrow b/c somehow sometime he rescheduled it) luckily, and we have to get up at get this: 5 AM. 5 AM! I mean, I woke up at 3 just to go to Europe in the winter, but this is different! 5! And Dublith is only only ONLY 3 hours away. What the fuck Ed. What the fuck. Oh wait, it's most likely Al that forced him, huh..You're off my hit list once again Edward Elric!

"Writing? You need sleep. You DO realize you're a heavy sleeper, and right now is..7:09 PM? You need sleep, not your..weird ass stories, Squinty-Eyes. I'm not wasting my energy by waking you up every morning.." I pouted a bit, thinking that Ed would finally be a bishonen, but what can you expect? It's Ed, for God's sake. It's not Tamaki, Qrow, or even Tamaki's twin, AKA Gentle. If you didn't notice already, I listed Vic Filet Mignon's other roles such as Ouran, Space Dandy, and RWBY, which are all extremely well done. And yes, RWBY is an anime. If it has a manga AND a Japanese dub like RWBY, it is anime, but more of 'Western anime,' so to speak. And I do not count Kubo and the 2 Strings, Air-Bender, nor Samurai Jack Western anime, but more of a Western animation with anime inspired elements. Oh wait. That IS Western anime. Oh well. Whatever.

"Awww...pooey Ed..You're no fun! Sigh..FINE...good n-OH MY GOD." Ed, with his hair down of course, and Al looked at me like I was some sort of weirdo. And yes, in the hospital the military interrogated me AND made me describe Envy. It was no fun. I just decided to etch that out of Brain-Kun and Brain-Chan because it was boring. But describing Envy, however, was fun. I called him "a somewhat attractive man with a black crop top and a miniskirt, with perfectly etched out abs and thighs, green spiky hair resembling a palm tree, and an Ouroboros tattoo." Joking! If I even uttered 'Ouroboros' they would've most likely put me under house arrest, since it's a very touchy subject such as human transmutation for example. I left that part out. Duh.

"Sigh..What now, Squinty-Eyes?"

"...Give me money."

"Hell no!"

"Please? I need enough for 2 tattoos!"

"Why the hell do you need tattoos?! You're joking right?!" I sighed stressfully, twirling part of my almost chest-length hair. Putting my spoon on top of the nightstand, I stood up and towerd over the Ed who was sitting down on one of those hotel chairs.

"P-Please. I need it. I-I..I need tattoos to remind me of my..no, of -the ex-experience that we a-all had. Y-You know w-which one..I'm not j-joking..Please.." Ed's eyes shifted, the golden flecks shining in deep sorrow. He knew which one. I didn't have to specify which one. He knew it was 'the bookstore incident.' We all do. I felt the lump in my throat again. I felt like crying. Hold it in, Meicee. Hold it. Not yet. Not just yet.

"M-Meicee..Are you sure?" Al's hollow voice made me want to rethink my actions, but there's no reverse nor pause in life. You've just got to keep going until the video ends, and then you regret your decisions of wrong and justice. Left and right. But no. I used to do things that I highly regretted afterwards, things I didn't do that I regret because I was a Shinji, and things that I just stopped doing all together that I regret. I'm in FMA now. I could die at any moment. I'm in an anime with no parents, no school, no extra curriculum. Just freedom. Friends. Death. I have to live in the moment. I CANNOT back down. If I do..the other mes in the parallel universes would shame me when they did it and I did not. I'm usually the disappoint. The black sheep. The weeaboo. Breathe in. Breathe out. Meicee, you can do this! Live in the legen-wait for it...wait for it...-dary! Don't live in the unlegen-wait for it..wait for it...WAIT FOR IT...-dary!

"Y-Yes...I mean, YES! I've never felt pain before, nor death. Now I have. I'll take these experiences with me down to my grave and not regret a single choice! Before I was even in this world, I was cowardly. I was afraid of little things such as spiders and heights. But now..even though it's too early on to say...I decided to live in the moment and not back away like in the past. I'll do the impossible and fail rather than do the possible and succeed. I want the tattoos. I want them to remind me of my regrets, every last drop of it. And I've decided. I WILL become a State Alchemist. I don't care if I fail or not. I WILL learn alchemy to help my friends and I get back to our world! I WILL learn alchemy to make THIS WORLD a better place! I WILL DO EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF MY MOUTH! I SWEAR ON MY WORDS! SO PLEASE LET ME GET THE FUCKING TATTOOS! Ah um..sorry..." Tears formed, but I didn't care. Wiping away my tears, Ed and Al were appalled by my serious behavior. I never act this way, but I've decided what I wanted to do during the time I'm here and the time I'm in my world. This world will teach me the hardships, and my world will give me the hardships that I can conquer. This is A LOT coming from a person with not even an ounce of self-esteem, nor the energy to hike even 1 mile.

"...I understand. Al, hand me my wallet."

"B-Brother.."

"I said, hand me my damn wallet!" Al yelped a bit, and even though Ed was yelling in an angry tone, it seemed that Al knew what both Ed and I were feeling: regret and sorrow. Al handed his older brother his jet black leather wallet, and 5 bills and around 15 coins were handed to me by Ed, his eyes saying "Go. Don't look back. But please, look back if needed." I nodded and ran out the door, zipping up my jacket and jamming the money in my pocket. I heard some armor clanking behind, which meant that Al is most likely going to come with me. For protection, of course.

"Pant...Pant...Jesus..cough cough.." I stopped, catching my breath in front of a bakery. Down the street, same block as the hotel/inn, though my eyesight is shit in the dark, I saw a sign, illuminated by a regular oil lamp, that clearly reads as "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow." Heh. Nice pun. I walked the rest of the way, hoping that like some other hair salons, they might do tattoos too.

"Welcome! Are you here for a quick trim? Maybe you want some color in your life with an unbre! Whatever you name is whatever we do!" A scrawny, middle aged man greeted me warmly, and a few other customers were in salon. The salon had an atmosphere of a grocery store somehow, but it still maintained the hair salon smell.

"..I want tattoos.."

"Excuse me, little Miss? I can't quite hear you! Speak louder!" The barber came closer, cupping his right ear with his hand.

"I want tattoos.." His warm smile soon disappeared, and a neat frown was placed instead. He led me to the back-counter, whispering in my ear.

"Little Miss, you do realize we only offer tattoos for State Alchemists and regulars, correct?..."

"Mister. I am going to become a State Alchemist and I received permission from the FullMetal Alchemist. He is a very very VERY dear and close friend of mine, and if you do not say what I do, I will personally make him come down here and force you to do so. Do you understand? I-I...er..sorry.." He gulped a bit, nodding and patting my head like I was his nephew or something. He signed something to another barber, who nodded went to the back room while I followed. He opened a hatch and told me to walk downstairs while closing the hatch shut. The room was like a whole new world, filled with advanced mechanism even alchemy and science can't possibly create.

"...H-Hello?" The pale, willow-like woman turned around from drawing, and giggled happily. Turning on some contraption, she beckoned me to take off my clothes and lie down.

"Ooh a young one, ain't it? Hehe! Let's see how much you brought me...50 Cenz and 24 Klus?! My my, I should give you an invention for free! The name's Fiona, and I'll take good care of you! Which design, or designs do you want? You can look in the books for patterns, or do a custom one, which costs extra, but you gave me more than enough, darling!~" She winked playfully at me, at which I responded with an awkward smile. Fiona reminds me A LOT like Grell...I took out the spoon Dominic gave me, placing it on the marble table next to tattoo station(?). Holding the spoon delicately, Fiona oohed and ahhed, reflecting the spoon in millions of different angles.

"Darling, this is amazing craftsmanship! Details, details, details everywhere! Such pure and delicate silver! Oh! You want this magnificently crafted chimera, correct?~"

"No..I want the hy-er, chimera animals separate. A phoenix on my right arm with some fire-based transmutation circles, and the dragon on my left thigh with some water-based transmutation circles. I'm sorry if I sound demanding..." She clicked her tongue, cleaning her green glasses with her apron. Winking, she readied what seemed to be the tattoo needle and magnified the spoon's tip.

"Heh, darling, you have to be MORE DEMANDING that THAT to be sorry! What an interesting design you're going for! Darling, this is going to rock! Hope you're not afraid of needles, darling pop!~" She winked again, acting more and more playful with each turn. I nervously smiled, bracing for the worse pain. However, I was shocked she didn't say anything about my scars that I earned heroically from 'the bookstore incident.' Maybe she has seen more shit than me. Who knows. And what came was the most painful 5 hours of my life. Trust me. Just imagine thousands of bees stinging you all at once continuously, or um...shit. Can't come up with a clever pop-culture reference now, huh?

 **~Author's Note~**

 **Hey guys! I kind of rushed the last part since it's now kind of late at night, and I have school tomorrow, so sorry about that! Some parts were really hard to write because..well, I was crying. How dramatic of me, right?! Lol! Like I was crying when writing 'the bookstore incident' and when Meicee was making the emotional speech about what she's determined to do and shit. I would've added in a part when Nick visits Meicee's room during rehab, but I have other plans in mind for that, such as include in a series of short stories that you guys might like! I'll make the short stories once Sweet Dreams, Otaku! ends. So be on the look-out for that! Anyways, this was one of the hardest chapters to write because I poured A LOT of emotion into it and I got SUPER emotional while writing this, which is kind of stupid but hey, it happens to the best of us. I'm currently obsessing over Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Yuri! On Ice, Mystic Messenger, Barakamon, Steins;Gate, RWBY, BTS, Top Dogg, and Big Bang, so if anyone's interested with what I'm interested in or want to chat with me about any of the subjects listed, please do so! Anything that comes out of my mouth is usually REALLY GOOD! Oh yeah, a T &D chapter is going to come out right after in celebration of FMA Day, Halloween, and most of all...**

 **Meicee: OMFGJDSKHGUIEGWJVONDUHEWANJSFU WE HIT OVER 1,000 VIEWS! THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOD THIS IS HE BEST OCTOBER EVER!  
**

 **Ed: Pipe down, pipsqueak..**

 **Al: B-Brother! Be nice!  
**

 **Meicee: You...MOTHERFUCKER! *kicks Ed***

 **Ed: WHAT THE HELL?!**

 **Jaquelin: CAN YOU GUYS BE QUIET?! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP! *glares at everyone and walks away***

 **Everyone: ...**

 **Me: Hehe...Well...it seems that they are excited for sure! Send in some T &D questions for us to do and we'll have a blast! This is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~**

 **Everyone: Bye! Party time!~ *parties and plays video games***


	14. SO SORRYYYY!

**~Announcement~**

 **Hey guys! I'm back from my trip and I'm SO SORRY I DIDN'T KEEP MY PROMISE! I was more worried and stressed about school and taking finals early and a program needed for one of my classes not working that I didn't focus on you guys! Now I got back, I need to study for the finals I didn't take before I left early for my trip to Southeast Asia! Originally I wanted to post two chapters instead of one before my trip, but that didn't happen and I'm TRULY sorry! I'll attempt to post the chapter before Monday, January 9, and a chapter on our one-year anniversary, or January 10! No promises this time though, but I'm hoping I'll fulfill my goal! Anyways, have mercy on me and enjoy the rest of your winter! This is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~**

 **(Here's some links to pictures of hamsters to keep you guys occupied at the moment. ^ ^)**

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	15. OMG! A HOT BISHIE!

**~Announcement~**

 **Hey guys! So I'm really sorry for not posting stuff on time and shit! Like stuff has been happening IRL recently, school, procrasination, etc etc...Same old story, I know, but seriously it's the truth. Like I don't want to stress myself out that much, you know? So now I'm obsessed with Mystic Messenger, Panty and Stocking, Super Junior (more into BTS and TWICE; Dope and TT are pretty good), and Osomatsu-San (boi the first episode was the BEST; KARAMATSU GURLLLLSSSSS), Haikyuu! (ROLLINNGGG THUNDERRRR), and Nigahiga's 'Who's it Gonna Be' (obviously Jun lolol). Anyways, this one special is dedicated to IRL Jaquelin (thx for introducing to the Hell we know as K-Pop) for always being there for me and for putting up with my craziness! Sorry if this is bad I'm still getting used to writing again and shit. Need to brushen up my trade. Anyways I'll make a 15-20 chapter collection of side stories (which I have prepared thank you very much) MAYBE when I finish this fanfic (which is never lol), so please enjoy! Or not. Depends. :PPP**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, but I do own my version of Mystic Messenger's MC (trust me she's awesome you'll see in the next which might or might not be a T &D chapter ;3), a lousy Deviant Art account (It's OtakutheFangirl DON'T CHECK IT OUT), and my rants about people on Tumblr and 4-Chan (In my brain b/c I can't spread negativity around like how I spread my peanut butter). :3**

 **Warning: DONALD TRUMP! DID I GIT YA ATTENTION?! HELL YEAH I DID! THIS IS BILLIE MAES HERE WITH A SPECIAL, DAILY OFFER FOR YA! DO YOU FEEL TIRED OF BEING ANY OTHER COLOR EXCEPT ORANGE? DO YOU FEEL TIRED OF NOT GETTING WIVES THAT ARE GOLD-DIGGERS? WELL NOW YOU CAN BE DONALD TRUMP! WITH THIS ULTIMATE KIT OF 3 EASY PAYMENTS OF $32.61, YOU CAN NOT ONLY BE OR LOOK LIKE DONALD HERE, BUT YOU'LL BECOME DONALD HIMSELF! THAT'S RIGHT, 3 EASY PAYMENTS OF $32.61 AND YOU CAN BECOME TRUMP! CALL BEFORE THIS AND YOU NOT 3, BUT 5 WIVES AND A DOG! THAT'S RIGHT DOUBLE THE KIT, and 2.5 TIMES DOUBLE THE OFFER! CALL NOW AT 1-800-NOT-REAL! CALL NOW AT 1-800-NOT-REAL TO GIT YOUR TRUMP KIT TODAY! TRUMP OTHERS BY BEING TRUMP!**

 **(...Sorry. I'm just obsessed with Billie Maes right now. Forever rest in peace my man.)**

 **~_!_~**

"Hiss...damn those tattoos hurt...I regret my life nowww.." I rubbed my tattoo over and over again, as for the 842903th time Al is lecturing me on how I shouldn't rub it or else I would get skin infection or something. Ugh.

"Meicee, you DO know that you didn't NEED those crappy tattoos, right?"

"Shush it Jackie! I wanted to be edgy and cool and that woman was nice! And I was really emotional...just...where's the nearest tattoo removal center?" Ed and Al looked at me like they finally didn't know something in their entire lives of being child prodigies.

"Tattoo..removal?"

"Squinty-Eyes you know it's fucking impossible to remove tattoos, right? You're stupid..." So. Apparently they don't have tattoo removal services here. Great. Just fucking great. I wish I've gotten temporary tattoos..oh wait they also don't have that here. Fackk. We finally reached the train station, buuut we have to wait ten minutes before the next train to Dublith arrives. Ugh. Fucking Ed is soo annoying with his nagging and stuff. 'Blah blah blah you know how much we wasted you stupid Squinty-Eyes blah blah alchemy blah blah I wanna fuck Winry blah blah blah.' Just...Shut. The fuck. Up. He may be my anime husbando but that doesn't mean that I don't dislike him, oh no no no. I HATE HIM. Well, 'hate' is a strong word. More like...Despise him. Yeah. I despise Edward Elric. Urgh. I sat down, slumping into my seat, humming some songs to myself.

"...Yo um Jackie. How's your...day?"

"...It's been fine. You were with me the entire time."

"...Rigghht. Sooo...Lets play...I Spy! I'll go first! I spy with my lil smol eye...something...blond!"

"...Ed? That tall almost bald man over there?"

"Yup it's E-What the...Is that...Armstrong?" I leaned closer and my eyes widened as far as it could, which isn't that big but like-big for Asians. A few rows in front of us was indefinitely Armstrong. I can spot that bald head, pink sparkling aura, and blond curl anywhere. I'm just going to assume he's here to watch us because four twelve-year olds traveling alone is dangerous. I respect that. Kind of.

"Jackie. Um...wait. Yo Ed, Al! I think I spot Armstrong!" I whisper-shouted, in which they responded with a "WHAT?!" Well I mean they shouldn't be surprised. Usually Armstrong tags along secretly for safety reasons.

"Urugh!...Why is HE here?!"

"Brother, doesn't he watch over us to see if we're okay?..Remember the time we went to Resembool to fix your automail he was there?"

"Yes, but...if he's watching over us why didn't he go to the damn hospital or do anything about the bookstore?!"

"Ed, you still remember that? Well...Maybe..Shit, I dunno. Well we can ask him later! I'm gonna call him over!"

"Squinty-Eyes, d-"

"YO MR. MAJOR ARMSTRONG! HELLO!" The tall, burly man turned around, with his eyes filled with spirit, sparkling as he rushed by our side, bear-hugging Ed and Al, almost crushing them to bits as he greeted them joyously. Al seemed to enjoy it, while Ed's face screams suffering. I snorted and snickered, and Armstrong knelt down, still towering over Jackie and I a bit.

"Welcome to Amestris, Miss Meicee and Miss Jaquelin! I've heard of your situation and I was touched by your bravery and courage which I could not replicate, even though it's been PASSED DOWN IN THE ARMSTRONG BLOODLINE FOR MANY GENERATIONS!" Armstrong started flexing and posing, almost tearing his suit to shreds. I burst out laughing, while deep down inside still cringing hardcore like Ed and Jackie. In the anime and manga it's less cringe, but like-Armstrong is doing this in front of hundreds of strangers. In a public train station. I gotta give it to him, he would need real courage to do.

"Ahem! Apologies, Miss Meicee and Miss Jaquelin! I shall be accompanying you four as your guardian! I've been assigned to not leave your side by the Colonel's orders, and I wish you all to not get into trouble, or it'll be under my records as my fault! I bid you safe travels!" He saluted patriotically, and the announcer over the intercom stated blatantly the trains departing at this moment, which also included our train. Luckily this train was at 9:35, so we didn't have to get up real early. We got our luggage and boarded the train.

"Ooh ooh I call shotgun for the window seat!~~" I slid into the booth, putting my bags underneath the table and pressing my face against the window. Jaquelin sat next to me and the Elrics sat across, alongside Al being Armstrong. In about twenty minutes' time the train began to move.

"Oooooooooohhhh Jackie Jaquelin Jackie-O looky look look! You can see the buildingss! Eeeee!" Lets just say I did that for almost the entirety of the ride, which was around four hours.

 **~TIMESKIP~**

"...I miss my flute despite hating to practice it..." I ogled at a fine-looking flute, made of silver (I think? I mean most, if not all flutes contain silver), in front of an instrument shop. It was on sale, and shone brighter than anything, even the lights that censor the boobies in Rosario+Vampire. Ahh...if only it could turn into a sexy ass bishie like the swords from Touken Ranbu...

"Oi! Squinty-Eyes no dwindling! We need to get back to Teacher's place before she kills us again!" Ed pulled on my hood, nearly choking me as I finally agreed and continued walking with them back to Mrs. Curtis's place due to her scarring me with how scary she was. No kidding. she's like A BILLION TIMES more scary in person. Like when reading and watching the series I just jested at her reactions towards Ed and Al, but now I'm cowering in fear beside them along with Jaquelin (she thinks Curtis-Sensei here is too rough with Ed and Al, and I have to kinda agree with her here). Helping Ed and Jaquelin carry some spices and seasonings back to the butcher shop (Curtis needs them to season the meat; she made us buy A LOT), I kept looking back at the flute, before the shop disappeared from the horizon line from my POV. Sigh.

"Sooo...Um..Ed."

"What?"

"...Uuuuhhhh..Nothing!" I quickly looked down, flustered and cringing at my failed attempt to break the ice. Welp. You done goofed, Meicee. YOU DONE GOOFED. I could see why Nick says I have no social skills WHATSOEVER and am REALLY AWKWARD. I heard Jaquelin quietly giggling, and I secretly glared at her, knowing fully that she was laughing about moi and moi "awesome" social skillz. I rolled up my long sleeve a bit, staring at the badass tats I got. Okay. Note to self. Don't EVER say tats again. EVER. The lady did the inking like VERY WELL, it was in the lines and it was black. Well, darker than black. Ayyyyy see what I did there? Sigh. Dammit. With no wifi and anime, I'm slowly going insane.

"..Eddie."

"Sigh. What is it now Squinty-Eyes?"

"Ever played any instruments? Like the violin or flute?"

"Does bashing rocks against rocks when I was four count? Or pressing piano keys randomly?" I mentally facepalmed a billion times, but understood. Or TRIED to understand. I nodded awkwardly and it was back to awkwardness again. Jebus Khrist.

"Oh um Meicee, pardon the intrusion, but I played a bit of the piano and the basics of the recorder! Um..uh..Sorry.." I snorted at Al's awkward interruption, grunting a bit as I adjusted the sack of spices. Oh shit. I snorted. I feel boogers. Dammit.

"Really? That's cool! Another fanfiction material gained! Woohoo!"

"So what about you?"

"Me? Wh-Ooohh. Yeah. Level two of ten in ze flute. Jackie boi here is Level six out of eight in violin. I suck."

"Don't call me Jackie boi."

"Oh um right. Sorry."

"That's pretty good!" I laughed, recalling dat one meme. Oh Al. Such a cinnamon roll. Hmm...Right! Now that I mentioned instruments, maybe I can be sneaky sneak and insert something about flutes here...hehe..

"Soooooooo...E-"

"I AM NOT BUYING ANYTHING FOR YOU YOU FREE-LOADER." I rolled my eyes, glaring at blonde-butt over here being a party pooper. How can he see through my plans?! Well, luckily I have a keikaku for my keikaku!

"Whhhaattt? Who's buying what?! I was going to offer to teach you how to play the flute, you know, for free time and the shits and giggles. But since SOMEONE declined WAYYYY too early, I guess not." I was a bit confident in myself, smirking a bit and bathing in the aroma of the sweet sweet rosemary and basil. Mmmm. Smells like the holidays.

"I don't need to learn how to play a long metal stick, thank you very much. It's a waste of my time." Dammit. Keikaku #707 didn't work. Sigh. Oh well, at least I'm my own iPod and I can sing horribly to myself. I just wanted to buy that fine-looking flute and possibly do a karaoke night with them, despite hating performing in front of people. Imma hypocrite.

"Weellll...then..can I at least teach you guys a song from my world? I mean, this song is..it should..never mind."

"Brother it sounds like fun! Besides it's been forever since we sang! Wait what do you mean by never mind?" Oh god. Shit. I was thinking of teaching them Bratya, but...it hits too close to home for them. The other songs...I don't want to scare them away with Unravel or What's Up People.

"Meicee, you're no good at singing.."

"Oi! Jackie boii I THINK I AM! I just don't like people listening to my REAL singing voice...Basically my full potential isn't OVER 9000! Dammit that joke's old..." OH! I KNOW! The opening to Boku no Pico! Light, fluffy, and catchy! What?! You HAVE to admit, it IS catchy. Ahem. Koi wo shiyou yo kisu suru mae ni~ I shall stop there for now. Hee.

"Whatever."

"Look Al, we're alchemists, not musicians. It's a waste of our time."

"But Brother, aren't you tired of "playing" (*cheating at) cards all the time? Doesn't it 'waste' your time?"

"I'm not tired of it unless I don't win. Plus it passes the time."

"It's because you cheat Brother! I've caught onto your tricks!"

"...I don't cheat. It's called strategy."

"Strategy my a-Oops. Almost said a bad word. Well Brother aren't you curious?!" DAMMMMMMMNNNNNNN SOOOONNNNNN! AL-BOI IS GANGSTAAAA! HE ALMOST SAID ASSS! AS IN ASSUNA! BOII Y-MHFFMHNMFFMM! Whew. There. Thug Meicee isn't making a ruckus.

"...No."

"That's a yes. Well, Meicee go ahead! Show us what you've got!"

"Wait here?! Now?! Well..um...well gee whiz, do you want something "modern" in a sense or something close to home?"

"Doesn't matter!" Well shit. Mysterious Messenger? Like the Sun in the Sky? Dope? Playing with Fire? If You? Turkey in the Straw? Mozart's 'The Blacksmith?' Uuuuggugugugugghghghgghhhhh soooo many choicessss! Lets spin the Wheel of Spinning! Spin spin spin sp-Oh. Landed on the brothers theme. Sigh. I guess so. Meicee, if you mess this up, no going back home for you!

"Well...here's one! It's the brother theme from FMA! Well, from our world, hehe. Um..It's the only song stuck in my head at the moment (*no it's not you fucking liar), so..I'm sorry if I'll offend you. Sighh..here I go! How can I repay y-"

"Louder Squinty-Eyes." Dammit. Why must I suffer for a simple karaoke night?

"Well only a few bars, and I'll stop. How can I repay you, Brother mine? How can I expect you to forgive? Clinging to the past, I shed our blood, and shattered your chance to live~ Jesus Christ that was embarrassing..Pleasedon'tlookthisway!" I flushed with awkwardness and looked down, walking faster and blaming myself for no reason.

"...Your voice is terrible, and the lyrics are stupid." I looked up in joy, relieved Ed said that, even though he is probably having PTSD flashbacks to October 3 because fo that. If he had said anything but, things would be shit for sure. Another person who thinks my voice is shit!~ How wonderful! Subarashi!~~

"You're voice is okay I guess." Another one! Thank you Jaquelin! Hontou ni subarashi!~~

"Brother! Don't be so blunt! The lyrics are quite meaningful and your voice is not bad!"

"Hehe..Al, don't try to sugarcoat it! Ed's saying the truth, and the truth is his own opinion! Everyone has a different view, so it's fine! Well, can we take a detour back to that instrument shop? I wanna browse. Hehe."

"Sigh. Squinty-Eyes, you're going to get us killed! Teach-"

"Teacher this, Teacher that. Look, I know FOR SURE she'll give us a HUGE beating when we get back, but you guys-No, WE have been through more than just a few punches and knife throwing. Besides, it's only once. I may sound selfish, and I am, so..we can take the highway or the low road." I am doing something unforgivable right now. I repent for my sins. I dropped the sack and stretched, waiting for their responses. Yeah, I'm selfish, but it's because I'm not human. Being human isn't a valid reason, since other species do do bad things too, and might regret it afterwards (ie. dogs). It's because I'm a horrible person, that's what. I'm embarrassed to show this side of me to my friends, but Ed and Al...they are not my friends. They have the title, but will soon lose it as me and my gang returns back to our world like every happy ending of a fanfic.

"Tch...Fucking brat..Fine. 5 minutes, and come back right away. I'm not giving you any money." I gasped loudly and did a little happy dance, running quickly in regret to the shop. Busting through the door, I hit my arm on the knob, seething in the slight pain and rushing to the window, overflowed in the sweet glory of the flute.

"We do not allow Xingnese in this shop. Get out." The old man tapped the HUGE wooden carving hanging in front of the cash register, which looked too formal to be a sign basically telling every over race except the whitest of the whites to GTFO. UUUHHHH SEXUSE MOII? I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE HERE YOU MOTHER-Sigh. I can't get mad. Can't get mad. I should've known there were some racists here. There's racists everywhere. I need to be mature and deal with this properly.

"Ahem. Um..Sir..Mister. I won't do anything bad, I swear. I'm just window-shopping."

"Then window-shop outside you Xin!" Xin? Is that like insulting Xingnese people with racial slurs? If so, that's not creative, nor smart. Hmm..Think of something smart!

"...Mister, do you believe in g-gender e-e-equality?" WTF AM I SAYING?! THAT WASN'T SMART YOU STUPID MEICEE! Stop stuttering you weeby, nervous fuck! Displeased, the fart-face (*going to dub him Fart-Face for now for being a fart) looked at me and spat at the ground in disgust, as if he was threatening me. Are you kidding me. Fart-face here is gonna clean his mess up. I ain't dealing with his spit and his BS here. I ain't no maid. -3-

"Excuse me, Xin?"

"Mister. I asked you. D-Do you believe in gender equality?" Dammit Meicee don't back away now! Don't cry! I glanced at the cuckoo-clock above the fart-face's bald-ass head, clearly stating I have about four minutes left until I need to go back. I need to make the most out of my time and teach this man a lesson.

"Gender equality? Look you XIN, women are only good in the kitchen and taking care of the children! I don't care what all the youngsters say these days about that, I won't believe it-over my dead body!" Hehe. Time to bring out the Tumlr posts bitches! I WILL WIN THIS ARGUMENT! I NEVER WIN ARGUMENTS BUT WHATEVES!

"R-Really. I completely agree with you. W-Women SHOULD belong in the kitchen-with all the food, knives, and supplies they get and have a higher survival rate, while m-men starve outside and cause a-another war like they do. I'm not a hardcore feminist, but I believe partly of what I just quoted from a-another woman." This explains it. If he WAS a feminist I would have some heart for fart-face, but he's not. He just lost double the respect I had for him, which was very little. Lets see...three minutes. I think that's enough time.

"And why are you asking about gender equality Xin?"

"...No reason."

"Tch...kids these days...making no sense...Why don't you leave and not cause trouble? I have some customers in here right now." Customers? I tippy-toed and looked around, seeing a few shadowy figures around the horribly-lit shop. Shitty shit poop. They're probably eavesdropping on our argument. Great first impressions, amirite?

"Mister, I won't d-deny that I am causing trouble, but I will deny that I'm not the o-only one at f-fault. I-I'm...I-I..s-sorry." I looked down, ashamed of my words, and the fart-face was almost about the explode with MeguminxMichael Bay explosions. Oh and anger. Don't forget anger. It's key. The fart-face let out a HUGE sigh, possibly in defeat, and only these words came to mind: OH MY FUCKITY FUCK HE HAS MORNING BREATH! UGHHH I NEED AIIIIRRRRR! WHY DOESN'T THIS SHOP HAVE IT'S WINDOWS OPEN?!

"..Well Xin, you're extremely lucky my rifle's all locked up upstairs. EXTREMELY LUCKY. You have some REAL sass. Real sass." I tried not to gag when fart-face leaned over the counter and whispered a threat to me. To a kid. Which he could be arrested for. Welp. Idgaf. At this point, after the "bookstore incident," more fucks are not given by moi. Really. Except when I'm in bookstores. Some fucks would be given then. Because of slight PTSD. I think.

"T-Thank you. D-Didn't expect s-"

"Xin, I'll give you ten seconds to get the hell out my shop. Don't come back again and fill the air with your foul, impudent stink."

"...O-Okay. T-Thank you for w-wasting my time, mister, so I shall w-waste yours. E-Equivalent e-e-exchange, right?" He cocked his head an almost complete 360 degrees when I smirked nervously, and I turned away, shuffling out the shop awkwardly. Fidgeting with my hands, I wrapped my short fingers around the small (*it was about the size of my fingernail) jewel(?) I found on the floor near the flute on display. Welp. Now I feel guilty as fuck. And I should. But the jewel-It was silvery and shiny and pretty! Plus it's probably not anyone's, and if it was-I'm deeply sorry and I'm really embarrassed and shit. I thought it was a bead or something, like I'm obsessed with collecting random plastic jewels and beads I find on the street. It's free, and if I collect enough I can make a pretty necklace or bracelet out of it! That's not gangsta, that's disgustin. SEXUSE MOI THUG MEICEE?! Well EXCUSE ME for ACTUALLY LIKING TO CHANNEL MY INNER GIRLYNESS unlike SOME PEOPLE! Whoa, chill Supreme Overlord Meicee. Chill. (**Spoiler alert: I'm not schizophrenic; this just displays some parts of my personality And yes, I have a thug in me. Well, I like to think that. :PP) I'm...chill...chill chill chill like a chili...

"Squinty-Eyes, are you happy now?" I picked up the sack of spices and kept on making the "hmm" sound as a way of thinking. Yeah, even though the instrument shop was like two-three minutes ago, I need time to think. Because I'm stoopud. That was intentional.

"Hmmmm...Besides getting no time to browse around the shop AND talking to a racist, anti-feminist old fart for 5 minutes, I had a HELL of a time. Oh yeah, I found a tiny jewel on the floor! Looky look!" I took the mini jewel out of my left pocket, which was filled with fuzz from the material. Taking the fuzz off the jewel in disgust, I held it up proudly, admiring the gleam it made when the sun shone on it. The gang (*excluding Winry and Nick since they're in Rush Valley) didn't care for my small accomplishment, making me a bit dejected.

"Waaaahhh...you guys don't care about a shiny gem gem? Humph..party poopers...Fine then.." I pouted, and threw the jewel in my pocket. Can you even throw anything into a pocket? I think so. Eh. Anime logic, plot armor, and stuff will cover this plot-hole up. I know this isn't a fanfic, but I'll treat it like one since..well...it's GOING to be a fanfic when I get back, OR when I'm older and still stuck here I can publish this as a memoir with the Elrics and BAM! Lotta money earned that way! Reaching Mrs. Curtis's butchery, I remembered to wait outside and let the Elric bros go in first, since they're usually strong enough to take the critical blows from Curtis. Keyword 'usually.' Hearing a bunch of crashes and voice-cracking screaming, I decided the coast was clear and trudged inside, only to be wrong and get hit by a book on my back.

"GAK! Oh fuck balls..." I tripped and fell splat on top of the sack, spilling the spices everywhere. Great. I groaned and got up, stretching my limbs (*I think I have all my limbs) and rotating my neck. Seeing that Jackie also got PWNED by Dreadlocks, I sympathized with her, though she got the worse treatment because she forgot to wait for the chaos to do a 360 headspin and take a blue pill. See what I did there? Chaos? Head? Chaos;head? Ehhh no one cares for that anime anymore. Every fapping fangirls' like: 'YUURI! STICK THAT BOOTIFUL PORK CUTLET COCK IN RUSSIAN TAMAKI BIG ASS MUDAK AND THRUST PROFUSELY! Oh and the others are adorable. Except for Chris. Do NOT want to be INTOXICATED by or with him. BUT FOCUSING ON THE IMPORTANT SHIT THAT IS VICTUURI! THEY NEED TO BLEEPING BLEEP BLEEP BLIP BLEEEPPPP! Oh and the animation for the ice skating was really good. But not as good as YUURI MARRY THAT SON OF A RUSSIAN SUKA RIGHT AWAY! MY KOKORO WILL DAVAIIII IF YOU DO KOISHITERU EACH OTHER AND HAVE BOOTIFUL KODOMO ISSHO NIII!' And then there's the guys who have no girlfriends or have a Victuuri shipper girlfriend, who are like: 'MORE BUTTS! MORE OPPAI! KEIJO IS KAMI! CLASH TOGETHER! UUUHHH! Oh yeah the gay stuff is okay too.' Eh. That was before I poofed into this world, anyway. I dunno what the kids are into these days.

"PUPILS! WHO TOLD YOU TO BRING EIGHT SACKS?! I SAID JUST ONE THREE-OUNCE SACK! THREE-OUNCE! AND BESIDES MAKING THAT MISTAKE, YOU GOT EIGHT ROSEMARY, ONE SAGE, FOUR BASIL, AND ONE BLACK PEPPER?! I TOLD YOU MANY TIMES TO GET ONE THREE-OUNCE SACK OF THEIR SPECIAL SEASONING! I WROTE IT DOWN AND PLACED IT ON THE DINING TABLE FOR YOU TO SEE! DID YOU NOT PICK IT UP? OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T BECAUSE I SAW IT ON THE DINING TABLE AFTER MY 'ERRANDS' WERE FINISHED! Sigh...what am I going to do with eight five-pound sacks of spices?...Sigh. Look, I can't stay mad at you forever, so I'm going to forgive you right then and there. However, you're going to clean up the mess you made, and return to the spice shop and get the correct ones. Got it?" Ed and Al nodded, shaking when they stood back up again, making the rustling metal sound as they rushed out the door with the sacks. Both Jackie and I stared at the current situation, PETRAfied, but mostly I was scared out of my kneesocks at how the manga and anime portrayed this as a hilarious running gag, not something so...terrifying and pee-inducing.

"U-Um..uh...Jackie. Did you get hit?"

"Yeah. Two books and a carrot."

"Carrot?"

"Mrs. Curtis threw a basket filled with vegetables at them and it bounced and hit me." I mumbled an "oh" and swept the spilled spices from my sack onto one tile with my grubby hands as Dreadlocks lectured Ed and Al about stuff (*They were cowering in fear). During my janitor sweep, a shadow loomed over me. That exact shadow was Dreadlocks. Well sheet.

"U-Um..Mrs. Curtis. S-S-S..Sorry." She smiled a bit and picked up the book that assaulted me. SMILED. I guess her "mom" side is coming out..I mean, she DID help Jackie up...Dreadlocks wasn't all sunshine and rainbows the first time we met her, but...maybe she went through a REALLY FAST character development. I dunno.

"Meicee, is it? I need to talk to you and Jaquelin. It's about your current situation."

"Oh um now?"

"Yes. Now. In the dining area." She spoke sternly the second time, forcing the pussy cat in me to go along. I dropped my sack on the counter, feeling bad about not finishing cleaning my mess. I know. Feeling guilty about not cleaning. Levi would be sooo proud of me. Pulling out a chair, which screeched HEAVILY, I plopped down next to Jackie, trying to avoid eye contact with Dreadlocks by staring at the window behind her.

"Meicee, Jaquelin. I've heard that you are both from another world from the Elrics, and you have a friend in Rush Valley right now who is currently undergoing rehab after what you call the.."bookstore incident." If you don't mind me asking, what are both of your experiences in..that certain bookstore? You can take your time. You both can tell me more whenever you're the most comfortable." ...Oh shit. I have to talk first, since I got the other end of the stick. The horrible end. Please don't tell me I have PTSD. If I do, well sheet. Oh no. I do. I feel the dread, the emotional triggering, the fear of Envy now. I looked sullenly down in my lap, rubbing the jewel in hope my depression over some event would go away. I have to stay strong for them. Besides, I haven't lost my mom or any of my limbs, which is way worse. Yet. Lets hope this PTSD isn't severe. Or if I even have PTSD. Probably not. I'm just horribly mentally scarred.

"...U-Um..I...It...I have..I have..No. It was an attack. An attempted m-murder against m-me. All because I was..c-correct. I k-know w-who did this. I k-know what his base of operations look like. I know who he works for. I can't tell because...he might find out and..kill me again. I...He...He wasn't supposed to be i-in there. T-This world is more...it's d-different from what I thought it was. He was...I felt...I felt p-pain. More p-pain than I could t-take. My...friend got hurt. R-Rehab. H-He..Well..The doctors said my s-spine and my b-bones could've been p-paralyzed from the b-blows, but they called me a..a miracle. A miracle that I survived with just s-scars and..and..u-um..broken bones. A miracle that I r-recovered instantly. I...I never felt so low in my life. Being..afraid. Scared. Terrified. It was all fun and games, but..I..I didn't know there was a...dark side. I...I-I'm s-sorry. I can't tell you anymore...Why am I..crying...You know what, I'm...fine..Heh." Tears formed in the corners of my eyes as I flashed a crooked grin, and I felt ten times more horrible. More trashy. Dammit. I did the best I could, with their being a bunch of toads in my throat keeping me from speaking at all. Why are you being so Mary-Sue, Meicee?! Fuck me! I...I NEED TO BE STRONG! I HAVEN'T BEEN THROUGH ALL THE PAIN YET! IT'S NOT TRASH CANNOT, IT'S TRASH CAN! Whew. I feel a little bit better. Not completely better because...you know...

"It's fine. You did a good job getting as much information out that you needed. Here." Mrs. Curtis slides over the tissues to me, to which I declined at first, but seconds later took because wiping semi-tears and snot with my new jacket isn't doing any wonders. Jaquelin looked uncomfortable, or what I think she looked like, and I understand. I think. I mean, seeing your friend that rarely cries cry when discussing about a scarring incident in front of a woman you never know, nonetheless being "trapped" in a world you barely know, it's intimidating and confusing. That's only my inference, so..don't listen to me. Mrs. Curtis shifted her focus onto Jaquelin, who's probably really out of it like me. Adjusting to new environments is harder than Mako-Chan's boners whenever *insert name here b/c I don't want to trigger the Free! shippers* does this and that..

"...Um well. I didn't get injured or see what really happened, but for a long time I felt...cheated. I was stressed and worried and...I thought my friends would..die. One of my 'friends' I don't really like, but yet I still cared. He was working so hard in rehab and..I could feel the pain. Another..I couldn't believe my eyes. She..was such a careless, weird, cheerful person who did the most random things. And..she delivered a baby and she wasn't fazed by it. She was still herself. And...now she's..next to me, crying. She never cries in front of people, or even at all. Seeing..there's two different sides to her is..expected but still...surprising. The incident didn't change me, but it was like a...a warning. A warning that this world is equally dangerous as back home. Everyone changed. Meicee became less lazy and got tattoos as a memory even though she hates tattoos. Nick is less of a goofball and me..I...I didn't change. It's...just.." Jaquelin started tearing up a bit, and I threw some tissues on the table sideways to her, still sniffling hardcore.

"Thank you for sharing your story as best as you could. I'm curious on the differences between our world and yours, but I want to resolve another issue first: your decision to become my students. You know very well I do not just take random kids or adults or anyone under my wing, and you're just contradicting yourself by doing that. It's impressive that you two have grown in just a matter of four months, but that alone won't convince me to teach you anything. I'll compromise with you. I'll let you stay here for several nights to crank out a plan and I'll help you with getting you back to your world. By help I mean I'll give you some of my books and make notes, and I expect the next time you come back you'll return them to me. Is that a fair enough compromise?" ...No. No. NO. This CAN'T be happening. In every proper fanfic I read the OC gets taken in as a student. How can this be. Oh god. I think my heart just shattered into a million zillion billion pieces. I started crying again, which shocked Megane-Tan and Oba-San. Wiping my tears and boogers with the same tissues I used to stick up my nose, I stood up, feeling a bit cocky and determined for once in my life.

"N-N...No. That's n-not fair. I need to find out why we were dropped in this world, and why this world exactly. I can't do it without alchemy involved, and what I know from my sources, it can't be achieved overnight nor without help. And as much as I love this world as much as art and notebooks, I want to go...to...to go back. I want to go back. I may hate my family and school sometimes, but...i-it's what I grew up with. I can't leave it behind and start a brand new life here. I can't just wipe my slate clean. Maybe my friends and some strangers can b-because they're stronger, but...I know for a fact I can't. So please. Even if we're a burden to you, if you help us we'll be gone in a splikity splat. If you don't take us under your wing or whatever, it'll b-be the b-biggest mistake you'll ever make. I didn't get tattoos which I hate so dearly because of spite. I needed them as a memory marker to make me stronger. I don't think I'm stronger now, but right now as I'm talking to you I sure as hell feel stronger. Like the strongest. S-Sorry. Just...just please help us. P-Please." I bowed as low as I can out of desperation and respect, only now realizing sympathy is my biggest weapon right now besides my hella fab Chun Li kickz. What the hell did I just say?...It was so unlike me. Oh well. Lets pray to the anime gods that we don't get rejected.

"...Meicee.." Jaquelin was mostly speechless at my stupid speech, having adjusted her glasses and continued staring at me (*AKA the OOC MC). I'm pretty sure she's not even interested in learning alchemy, but I think she'll enjoy it a little bit.

"...I'll help you, but if you really want to be my students, you'll have to prove you're not just normal. Not just abnormal. Not just talented. That's why I'm sending you out to the forest tomorrow for two weeks. During those two weeks you'll have some basic alchemy books and a knife. And during those two weeks out in the wild think about this quote: 'A weak person is weak when weak, and is strong when only weaker. A strong person is weak when stronger, and is strong only when shown weak.' "

 **~AWKWARD TIMESKIP PLACEMENT: 1 SIN~**

"Ugghhhghghghghhghghghghgghghghghghghghhhhh...what the hell did she mean weak is weak and strong is weak and that bullshit?!...Humphh..Well at least we got accepted?.." I tapped my pen in an "tap tap tip tip tap" pattern against the wall, frustrated with Curtis's deep ass quote. Apparently to get to the actual forest forest it takes two hours, soo...Jackie and I are going to to die in the wilderness. Unless we find a freshwater lake and some fisheseesessess, we'll have to drink pee like Bear Grylls and eat poison berries and almost die like Katpiss and Peeta Bread. Hehe. High five Meicee! No? Okay. Even me doesn't want to high five myself for the awesome parody names and memes...Well, she's sending us to the actual forest forest. Specifically the "side forest," which is like this area of the forest with the least hostile animals and more vegetation. Apparently it was tended by some local alchemist before he died, and now there's rarely anyone there unless they're exploring or some shit. Sigh. We're going to die because of our stupidity.

"Meicee, we're going t-"

"Yes, we're going to die Jaquelin. We're going to die out there. We have no survival skills. Well, except for my knowledge of what I can remember from Bear Grylls, The Martian, and the Boy Scout handbook. Don't ask why I read it. I just did. I also know how to escape a shark attack. And I also know to always follow the animals because they don't eat poisonous stuff. And that-You know what, I'll shut up now."

"Please do. Sigh." Dammit why am I so awkward?! Whatever. I guess I'll sleep now. Or try to sleep. I'm too stressed and worried to record everything. Goodnight.

 **~ANOTHER AWKWARD TIMESKIP PLACEMENT: 5 SINS~**

"Mm...AH! MY JEWEL! SHIT!" I shot up from the floor I was sleeping on, looking at the empty, messy bed. Oh. So Jackie is awake. SHIT. THAT MEANS I SLEPT IN. MY JEWEL. I FORGOT. I LEFT IT IN MY JACKET! SHIT SHIT SHIT! I threw the blanket across the floor, rushing to my jacket. Checking the pockets, I felt...nothing. NOTHING?! NO NO NO NO NOOO! Dammit Meicee, it could've dropped! Wait why am I worrying?! Oh right because I had a dream I lost it and I died by the hands of a middle-aged man and then I turned into that middle-aged man and then I fucked a polar bear (*yus this dream actually happened shaddup). Whyyyy...I busted out the door and to the nearest person, AKA Jackie. Stopping in front of her abruptly, I shook her, feeling a bit embarrassed that I'm not dressed.

"JAQUELIN! HAVE! YOU! SEEN! MY! JEWEL! INEEDITSOBADLYITSSHINYANDPRETTY!" She gently slapped my hands off of her, looking annoyed and frazzled from whatever's going on out there. I hear some yelling, pleading, and overall pissy people. Well. Eh.

"This weird fantasy purple guy is outside with the jewel saying weird crap. How did it not wake you up? It's been going on for the past ten minutes!"

"Oh. Really? Well I don't care that much. Where the bloody crap is breakfast? I'm hungry." I walked forward into the living room on accident, standing monotonously for a few seconds before actually finding the kitchen. With my stomach growling and me quietly moaning in pain, I searched through every inch of the cupboards and cabinets for food.

"Where the bloody fuck is food?...Oh my flipping gawd they're soooo loud out there...Oh pffttt there was food on the counter. Silly Meicee. How did I miss that?! Just some fruit?...Sigh..I guess I could work with that.." I ripped off two bananas and turned around, peeling one while holding another in-between my armpit. Jackie apparently followed me into the kitchen. Leaning against the wall tiredly, I offered her a banana, which she declined my offer of peace and love and sunshine.

"Sooooo..Did the guy leave yet?"

"What do you think?"

"So no. Cool. He's probs an old creep that goes treasure hunting and owns a cool hat. Wait did I just describe Indiana Jones?...Shhhshshshhhhh Jackie. Lemme finish my own convo first. Ahem. Nah can't be. Indiana Jones is obviously Han Solo and Han Solo ain't creepy. Jackie now you can talk." I finished the first banana and threw it away, wasting no time to eat the second one. Jackie seems like she's gonna question my sanity, but decided to hold back because she tolerates her fabu BFF (*moi) and she probably doesn't give any fucks.

"Meicee, I think you should go see what's going on. I mean, the guy's pretty creepy, but...maybe you can say something about it?...You DID find the jewel after all...and it's your shitty fault that this is happening! It woke me up early...urgh..."

"Early?"

"It's fucking 8 right now."

"Oh. Sigh. Okay then. Is like EVERYONE at the front or?..."

"Everyone. Edward's gonna beat him up, Alphonse is trying to use logic and words to deal with him, Mrs. Curtis is really close to beating this guy up, and her husband...well...he's scary-looking. Just go look." I confusingly stared at Jackie, then shrugged and headed outside, holding a banana peel and currently suffocating myself with a banana because I'm flipping hungry. I politely shoved my way through Scig, standing beside Curti-OH FACK RED ALERT RED ALERT RED ALERT! MEICEE STOP PANICKING NO NO NOOOO! THIS GUY-THIS 'CREEP'-HE'S FUCKING HOT! HE HAS LONG, SILKY SILVERY BLOND HAIR DOWN TO HIS CHEST THAT COULD RIVAL LEGOLAS-A WEIRD MEDIEVAL PURPLE AND SILVER/WHITE OUTFIT THAT COULD BE EASILY OUT OF DARK SOULS IF DARK SOULS WAS MORE 'LIGHT SOULS'-A BEAUTIFULLY PROPORTIONAL NOSE AND HE SEEMS LIKE HE WOULD HAVE THAT CROOKED GRIN THAT COULD EASILY KNOCK OUT MILLIONS OF FANGIRLS-HE LOOKS LIKE HE COULD BE A COMPLETE MAKOTO TACHIBANA OR GUILEASTOS SOMETHING AND SOO UKE BUT LIKE HE'S LIKE 23-JUST-ASDFGHJKL! MEICEE CALM YOUR TITS! Calm...your tits! Calm your damn tits...Whew. Meicee you almost choked on your banana there. That's not good. Okay. Meicee 2000 is not malfunctioning anymore. Gud. Whew.

"Please let me in! My Master's jewel says the new master is here! Please let me in I need t-...M-Mas-Mistress?...It's you! It's you Mistress! I've been searching long and hard for you Mistress! Please recognize me!" He knelt on the pavement outside, bowing his head like he was in front of the Queen or some other royal person.

"Yo. Umm...What's a...um..going on here?.." The guy dressed in extreme LARP-ing gear which is also weird-ass clothing in the FMA world unless you were in a play lifted his head up slightly, gasping dramatically and started happy-crying, grabbing onto my sweatpants.

"Mistressss! I've been searching for you for two years! Please recognize meee! I'm your loyal servant! It's me, Paracelsus Vesalius Bohme Nicjolad Glithortios! You used to call me Parasalmelatios, remember?! Please Mistress I beg of you to let me in!" I felt a shudder go down my spine, feeling uncomfortable not washing my face and that a hot bishie is clinging onto me. Mrs Curtis is looking quite pissed, Al is trying to reason with Ed on why they shouldn't punch the guy, and Scig...Hey where the fuck is Scig? Sleeping? Whatever.

"U-Um...Excuse me but I-I'm not your..'Mistress.' I-I'm sorry. I'm glad you found your j-jewel, which I a-a-apologize for s-stealing." I stepped back and adjusted my pants, feeling scared that I'm talking to a stranger that is obsessed over me, or...someone like me. Creepy hot person. Ew.

"M-Mistress! The jewel-your brooch, it led me here! It led me here to you! Please let me in!"

"Look sir, if you don't get off my property this instant, I'll call the military."

"AL LET ME HAVE IT W-"

"Brother please we can reason with words!"

"..." Faccckkk...Am I seriously feeling bad for this Parasolmetrico guy now? No. I shouldn't feel bad for a creepy stranger who's trespassing the Curtis property.

"Umm...You're..You're looking for me, right? Not anyone else?"

"Of course I would be looking for you, Mistress! I'm certain it's you! You are the successor! Please let me in! I have so much to tell you!"

"Meicee, I'll deal with this. Sir, p-"

"Mrs. Curtis, everyone, he's...obviously looking for me and...if anything goes wrong, I'll be sure to shout. But for now...I'm sorry. Please..leave." Everyone looked shocked and slightly worried, hesitating to leave until the last second. Jaquelin mouthed "good luck," and Ed, for the first time, had his eyes flash "worry and anger" instead of "pissed and anger." As everyone scattered like cherry blossoms in the spring, silence soon greeted the stranger and I.

"...You know you can stand up, right?"

"I mustn't tower over Mistress, being a lowly figure in the shadow!.."

"Ugh, you know what, maybe Mistress commands you to stand up properly, so please stand." He was really hesitant and a bit stubborn at first, but eventually stood up, towering over me at most 5' 11", hanging his head a bit low."

"So..um. I'm sorry but I'm not your Mistress. Maybe you got the wron-"

"No! I'm correct! Look, the brooch has changed colors! It changed from silver to blue with turquoise specks! The brooch changes colors when a new successor is found, and changes to the color of their suiting! Only when a new successor has or is going to be rising will the color fade to a deathly silver! Master has sadly passed on, which I'll explain later! I lost Master's brooch, but luckily you-Mistress, found it and made my hunt easier! I-I'm sorry I wronged you, but what I'm saying is true!"

"...Who was..your former 'Master?' " He grinned gently and placed the brooch in my hands, kneeling before me again.

"Oh Master was a wonderful person! Master Dante created me!" Dante. As in that crazy bitch from the 2003 anime. Oh fackkk...Something bigger than the Promised Day is going to happen-I'm sure of it, with this many unpredictable events happening that wasn't featured in the franchise at all...The lifeforms from my face drained the blood out of me, and a cold shiver tickled down my back.

 **~Author's Note~**

 **Hey guys! Sorry for not being active for around four months! I've been really busy, and I have TWO concerts coming up, so wish me luck! So Parasalmelatios is an OC I came up with because one night I was tired and I accidentally wrote him in, and I didn't want to delete him from the story. I based his personality on Dobby from Harry Potter, Makoto Tachibana from Free! and Guileastos from 1/2 Prince! His appearance is heavily based on Gakupo, with more Legolas-like features, more uke, and other differences. I really do apologize for not being active, so to make up for it I'll post a T &D chapter AND a side-story next! And if you're like "Where the diddly-darn-hell did Armstrong come from?!" don't worry! Allll questions will be answered as the big plot unravels itself! Like my plans were to mix the manga and both anime adaptations alongside the movies together, along with adding some headcanons! Meaning? Meaning that this will be one big fucking mess and the Promised Day is gonna be a WHOLE lot worse than how it's featured! More stuff is to be revealed, so stayed tuned! Again, very sorry for being inactive and this will happen probably multiple times, but I'll make up for it! Sorry if this chapter doesn't seem as good since I'm losing my touch, but don't worry it's gonna come back! This is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~**


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